by EdenOne 26 Replies latest jw friends
After reading from another thread, I felt it was worth asking this question.
If you left the Borg on your own, have you attempted to meet others whom you used to be connected with while you were "in", but who have also become ex-JW's before or after you have left the WTS? If that's the case, has it remained a friendship, or the connection grew cold? Just curious as to what keeps friendships "stick" [or not] once you no longer have the Borg's doctrinal glue.
Your experiences are welcome.
Eden
Yes. First thing I did is to reconnect with those who had faded. I met up with other Ex JWs. abt 5 in total n counting. Very encouraging to hear
the real reasons of their fade n DF. i can say All are happier n full of zest for life. Freedom!
There was a sister who I always got on really well with. She left about 5 years ago. Sadly, 'the devil overtook her' and she took the apostate route.
I occasionally saw her in the supermarket, but I would never shun her. (My wife did though, and she still does)
Now that 'the devil has also overtaken me' and I too have taken the apostate route, we're great friends once again.
Re-connecting with her has been a great help while going through the ups 'n' downs of "waking up" to TTATT.
TF1
I have reconnected with quite a few. Sadly not all the friendships last which for me included my best man and friend from childhood who was DF'd many years before I exited. He still believes that JW's have the truth he just can't live up to their standards.
Eden One & Cantleave:
I had connected with a few ex-JWs after I left the religion. Today, only one of those "friendships" has lasted.
I realized with the others that they were never really my "friends" to begin with and the only thing we had in common was the religion - while we were in it... These people were very judgmental towards me because I still was "friendly" with one or two JWs... Some ex-JWs have to make a point of how "over it" they are.
However, this is not a tragedy and I wish these people all the best in their life's journey.
I have with a number of them. One person is very similar to me and now a best friend of mine. Some others are good friends and we meet up several times a year. I have occasional contact with others, but they may live far away, or are too busy to keep in touch. Still, there are the old memories, and we still relate at a personal level. And then there are others that never were on the right wave length and still are not.
We have reached out to many old friends and Ex JWs through Facebook. It is amazing how many who left or were Dfed still do not know TTAT, are still under mind control...and are hesitant to associate with "APOSTATES". Actually we have more friends with "Fading" JWs (still active!!!) who are awakening to the TTAT.
A number of "Faders" now go to the DC/RC to make a showing during lunch and then hang out at the hotel bars during sessions LOL!! - Sort of an "underground a pasta fest"! 3rd gen and I laughed that perhaps we can share an Italian meal with them at the Hotel while the Convention program drones on next door.
Yes, I have met a few...it is true that the only things we have in common is the fact that we are exJW...often the conversation revolves around JW subjects, but it is cathardic to talk about it with real humans (on this forum is nice too...but face to face is also very theraputic).
Honestly though...I am not really close with any exJWs that I knew while I was "in", they are great people, but not the type that I would call everyday and hang out with frequently (it is usually just once or twice a year).
CHG
Yes we have. My husband's best friend faded more than 20 years ago and he was able to tell him what is really going on with the WTS, another one of his best friends was DF when he was 16 and we have reconnected and have been able to tell him all the lies of the WTS. My husbands ex business partner faded 20 years ago and we got him to read a number of books and he is so much happier. We have used this time to help them break free of any guilt they ever had of leaving.
It has been a great experience for my husband because he gained his best friends back and their relationships are even stronger now.
We also met up with some ex JW's we had never met for a Meet-up in Brooklyn and we had a great time with them. There were about 30 of us and I would love to meet up with them again.
Eden it's hard to deal with JWs because of their self-righteous nature and constant nagging of Fader's, with that said I have talked with a few JWs who know it's a scam but continue to promote the lie. It's hard being a hypocrite and talking with fellow hipocrites, I lose myself because of the Greater Good. Most relationships with JWs cause a tug-of-war and end badly unless you have business ties to them. It's been ten years since i talked with relatives that stole from me and hold office in the JW World. Did you know there is a growing sum of people who attend Kingdom Hall Meetings and treat their fellows with greater contempt than Apostates?
My former best friend who does not believe anything the Watchtower teaches has shut off his contact with me because I agreed with his own words! We were at a ping-pong tournament when he secretly told me "I think the Watchtower is lying, they know what they teach is false because I've had Circuit Overseers tell me they don't believe in the Organization yet remain for financial reasons." When I said "Yes, I know there is a lot of crazy doctrine stuff we probably have wrong", he went off and said "Are you a Apostate?" This while we were in a Hotel in Orange County, Ca! I said "Hey, your the one who just said you don't believe in what the Org is teaching with regard to the Generation, "The End" and Preaching!" He said "Are you calling me a Apostate?" Thank God for Ken Blanchard, Dale Carnegige and Anthony Robbins Businesss relationship books, he calmed down and we broke off ties after this.
This is what happen's with JWs inside the Organization who treat each of the Dukes like shit, how are they going to treat you when you reconnect? Most end up preaching how we are going to "Die at the Big A", "you don't preach so your going to die!(Oh, how I love to eat that one alive because I preach more meaningful things than they do!) or they talk about stupid shit and depress us with their fatalistic outlook! I need to stop attending the Meetings and move on, one day I will!
