how is it that some fade out of the org and others seem to be pushed? (page 2)

LouBelle

My mother faded and nothing was done. Then suddenly 8 years later she was disfellowshipped. She didn't write a letter. They are a law unto themselves. You can only control what you do.

I think it probably depends a lot on the sort of elders there are. If they are laid back types and believe in personal freedom then you could get away with just fading. If they are the legalistic company men then they are more likely to come after you. Best bet is to just let them know you don't want to talk about anything to anyone (including them) and it's more likely you'll be left alone. I've been fading for three years and the elders know where I stand and they've not said anything at all to me. On the occasions I do go to the meeting all I get is a 'how lovely to see you' and a handshake. It can work.

daringhart13

You're not under obligation to do ANYTHING. Do what you want to do!!

These people have NO power....only the power YOU give them.

I will say your observations are true: some are able to leave and be left alone; others are hunted. I think it comes down to the personality of the elder body.

I was a well known elder and got up and walked out one day. Not one soul has bothered me. But....to be honest......I make it known that if they come anywhere near me, I'll treat them as a threat..... and they are rightfully scared.

Do what you want......you do NOT have to write them a damn thing!

Balaamsass2

A lot has to do if other JWs and the community view you as still a JW. Also JURISDICTION. (Where your card is) The congregation with your card is the hall that has to take judicial action....so a "move"(real or..pretend) messes with the system.

flipper

SOWHATNOW - Very good thread and topic. Good questions you ask :

How likely is it that I too can fade away ? Probably VERY likely if you just stay under the radar and don't go to meetings and stay out of touch via telephone or discontinue ANY communication with JW's you knew - friends, elders, ANY JW. I believe the problem of getting harassed can come if you still have JW relatives attending and they rat you out to the elders about some kind of perceived actions that your relatives or friends are aware of- then they feel emboldened to try to allegedly " save " ( in their warped minds ) by reporting to elders about you. So I try to keep those relationships to a minimum if not at all. Or I never TALK about anything JW to them because they'll twist it and misrepresent what I say to the elders. And I've faded for 11 years now, been out or inactive. I just wouldn't give ANY JW too much information about what's going on in your life. They WILL try to use that info against you.

Are we under any obligation to write any formal letter ? No, you are not under ANY obligation to communicate with them at all. It's none of the elders or any JW's business what you do with your life or decisions you make. You owe them NOTHING. No explanations- nothing. Just move on. The more you say- the more harassment you'll receive from them.

Are there only certain kinds of persons who get hunted ? Like those who were/are ministerial servants / elders or pioneers ? Well- having one of those positions in the JW organization certainly puts you more on the radar if you miss meetings - but I have noticed that the more VOCAL a fading or inactive person is- the more attention and harassment they will get from the body of elders. Because the elders perceive that individual as a possible " threat " to the congregation due to speaking their mnds and possibly influencing other JW's against the organization. Kind of like the expression " the sqeaky wheel gets the oil " . So bottom line, is it doeasn't matter if a person is an elder or not- if they are vocal- the elders WILL try to harass a ex-JW if they hear others in the congregation have talked to the person promoting their ideas. So be careful. Hope this helps a bit

thedog1

I agree that it depends where you are and the elder body. Years ago in another cong I was in a bro stopped going to meetings. A few years later he came up for discussion and because he was involved in something that could get you disfellowshipped, the thought was broached that he should be subject to a JC. As he was still occasionally associating with some bros it was felt that he could influence others by his conduct and he was disfellowshipped. Kind of a judgement call by the local body of elders. I have been in the wars recently as I have stopped serving. I have no intention of stopping attending meetings, but I know others will wonder if my not serving means I have done something 'wrong'. Time will tell. I will never talk to others that I think would rat me out about issues I have with the generation teaching and other things. My wife is worried about me and thinks I am leaning toward apostasy, but is still supportive to me personally.

Vidiot

sowhatnow - "How is it that some fade out of the org and others seem to be pushed?"

Some elders are more vindictive than others.

Fernando

If one does not care to openly question, doubt or challenge, I guess one could be left alone, unless a hounder (Pharisee) develops an agenda.

Band on the Run

There are several factors to explain the difference in outcomes. One is that the actual individual matters. My uncle left his wife and children. A nurse who happened to attend the local KH saved his life. She found him, starving to death, on a major highway in upstate NY. One of his sisters was furious with him. She was so hurt. The wife was looking for the next candidate quickly. She was into vengeance. The local brothers were going easy on him b/c they knew the congregation caused many problems. She made every phone call to Bethel to make certain he was d'f'd.

He never cared about his children. The nurse and he made a life. They moved to CA for lower expenses for fuel. He gave up Julliard for the Witnesses. They took classes at the community college.

4thgen

If you piss off the wrong person they may come after you....

how is it that some fade out of the org and others seem to be pushed?