I have CoC, Wolves Among Sheep, and Journey to God's House conveniently visible in my room but doubt that my still-in housemate would ever look at them. Take a photo and show it to the elders, maybe, but read them? Probably not.
Have you ever given CoC to a JW to read? Or any other "red pill" book?
by Captain Obvious 15 Replies latest jw friends
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Captain Obvious
OnTheWayOut: you've been on the forum since '06.. Have you been able to make any progress? How did family and your wife react when you quit going to meetings?
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Phaedra
Have any of you done that before? What was the reaction/result? It seems to be the best red pill out there.
LOL, it is one of the best red pill books, but contains a very kryptonite-like substance that JWs, who have not picked up the book themselves out of their own will and curiosity, that will immediately react with their cognitive dissonance with flashbacks of WT illustrations showing where that apostate-like material should be properly filed, in the nearest receptical.
I read COC and was forevever changed. And I had to get it the "long way around" before it was available online as a PDF... I had to request and check it out from the library. And yes, it felt like forbidden fruit that I dare bring into my home with a believing spouse, but I devoured that book in the privacy of my own reading room. When finished, I KNEW the JWs were a sham and I could never go back.
It's natural to want to share such enlightening stuff with loved ones ~ JWs trapped in... but it's a delicate issue of trust.
When I thought I KNEW my husband would trip and gape over the same info I read, and be ready to join me hand in hand on our mutual exit into the sunset, I was dismayed that he narily got a paragraph in before declaring the "twisted things" of apostates as he lopped the book back in my direction.
A close mind snaps shut like an iron gate if it's not ready to be opened.
Well-written posts printed out on neutral paper and friendly links to ambiguous web pages with good articles likewise tripped the iron gate. Over the span of several years I finally accepted that good intentions weren't enough to keep that iron gate from snapping shut.
Many battles, large and small, have been fought on our home turf about JWs, their beliefs, failed predictions, and control over people's minds and souls. Somehow we declared a truce and decided "going there" was detrimental to our relationship. We live and let live (of course, he has no qualms about letting me know I'm wrong, although he has his own reservations).
I still have a copy of COC on my shelf. And I believe he will never touch it. I've learned it's not for me to force him to, although I really, really, really, wish he would just approach it with an open mind.
Phae
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Balaamsass2
My wife ( 3rd Gen) read the Crises of Conscience PDF non stop for three days...and never went to a meeting again..... that was it. She reminded me she was already "ripe" because of what she had seen headquarters doing with Child and Senior abuse. The regional building and assembly hall $$ scams were already bothering her.
She reminded me people have to be "RIPE". A few years earlier she had tossed my copy of COC.
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Captain Obvious
Thanks Phaedra and Baalamsass.
I agree, one needs to be "ripe" before approaching the book. Personally I think she just might be. She barely had a cult personality to begin wih, and is by no means studious or a "true believer." For a good while she would comment that I'm not "like that" when a speaker would spout BS about apostates from the platform. If the book were sarcastic or angry at all she would repulse at it.
I'll give it to her when it shows up and see how it goes. She has a few days off this week, hope she takes a look. Will report back on how it goes.
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OnTheWayOut
OnTheWayOut: you've been on the forum since '06.. Have you been able to make any progress? How did family and your wife react when you quit going to meetings?
My mother treats me the same and insists that I don't DA or get DF'ed so that she doesn't have to "follow the rules." We have an understanding that we won't discuss beliefs and JW stuff, and she always violates the rule in little ways when she thinks she can get away with it.
My JW wife loves me dearly and we have a great marriage. She accepts that I must do my own thing and it has become the 800-pound gorilla in the room. We address aspects of it here and there, but mostly avoid it. Our life has stabilized around our different paths.
She was recently asking me about my last "falling off the wagon" with alcohol. Despite the fact that I went back to A.A. shortly after stopping going to the Kingdom Hall, she doesn't really process well that it was because I started drinking a bit back then (and not at all since going back to A.A). She wanted to know about when and under what circumstances I drank again. When she was asking, it was late and I was half asleep and needed to go to work in the morning. But when she readdresses it, I will let her know that it was due in part to the horrible truths I learned about Jehovah's Witnesses. Sad to say, but I am confident she suddenly won't want to know anymore about it.