Hubby's tempted to go back (page 4)

steve2

rjharris' Scripture-choked response would have me running back to the KH in a weaker moment. Puh-lease!

Reassure hubby that it is very common to have urges to return...esepcially if raised in it. It is not unique to the JWs. Back sliders are common in all groups. But in smaller, more authoritarian groups it can be more intense. A variation on, "Can't live with it/Haven't yet figured how to live without it"

Although, if I can say so, I'd find it very annoying to have a spouse who kept sharing with me their misgivings about their back-sliding status. What does he expect you to say or do - I mean really?

jgnat

Hey, I'm a terrific confidante. You guys all know that. A safe person. He knows no matter what I will help him.

steve2

I like your answer jgnat! Sounds like a very affirming marital relationship.

smiddy

You have the patience of Job jgnat , if I were in your shoes I would hit him over the head with the biggest bible concordance I could get my hands on, and ask........ have you seen the light yet ?

smiddy

jgnat

Here's the thing. Whether he goes back to the meetings or he doesn't, I have my natural man back, warts and all. He doesn't realize how much he has changed.

Raton

Is he part of a forum like this where he can talk to people that are in similar situations or is he just doing this by himself and of course with you? I would think finding someone to talk to that is in the same boat would help.

Good Luck...

Frazzled UBM

jgnat - sorry to hear this but your level-headed response should hopefully mean it will be a temporary phenomenom. My suggestion as to his excuse for going back: "I thought I would be happy not feeling bad about myself all the time but I realised I missed the feeling that I wasn't good enough and so my inner masocist is forcing me to return!" Some S&M gear would be the appropriate dress to express this sentiment. Fraz

Frazzled UBM

Captain Obvious - I found your comments helpful. I am in exactly the position that my wife has stoppe dgoing to meetings but has not talked about it and so I fear she is vulnerable to being pulled back in so I am trying to think of strategies to get her to open up but it is hard. I am thinking of saying to her: "It is good for us (my son and I) that you have stopped going to meetings but I don't want you to feel guilty about it so it would be good it you could let me know if you feel bad about not going so we can talk about it." Do you guys think this will work? Cheers Fraz

Apognophos

I like your suggestion, Frazzled UBM. I don't think couples should ever leave something hanging in the air like that unless there is an explicit agreement not to discuss some subject.

jgnat

What seems to be working best is distraction. I am taking up other activities that gives him the socialization he needs without all the baggage.

Hubby's tempted to go back

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