by stuckinarut2 21 Replies latest jw experiences
Don't take it personally Stuckinarut. They are victims. We had our CO last week and while he was sitting there misapplying scriptures I looked at his face and thought - this poor boy (he is very young). He has no idea. Most elders have no idea too.
It must be frustrating though mate! You abrupt mentally diseased person!
Gday again Stuck.
I haven't been on this site for a while - it's good to take a long break now and then - but I see you are still stuck in the same old way of thinking that characterised your earlier offerings on these boards.
You KNOW how the Organisation is. You KNOW how the petty little minds of the elders work and the demeaning way they treat members in the congregation. And yet you post on here like it's news. You need to move on from this affected outrage. You need to stop the shrill posturing. All you are doing is playing into the elders' hands and allowing yourself to become a victim.
The more you struggle and kick against the org from within the more power it has over you. The longer you protest and act 'independently' the less agency you have.
The best thing that you can do in your situation is walk out the door of the hall and never go back.
The way you are acting, you will be thrown out anyway. This is the ultimate power the elders have and the longer you act up, the more they will want to demonstrate their power, and reinforce their control over you.
I advised you when you first started to post on this site that you should just leave. You posted about how boring and idiotic the watchtower studies were. You posted requests for assistance with meeting parts to help wake up the flock. I advised you stop all that nonsense and just leave. You didn't respond well to my advice saying that you were hurt by my bluntness. Fair enough. You couldn't just leave, you said, because you and obligations that made such action difficult. Fair enough. But still you kept posting about the absurdity of the meetings, often while you were sitting in, and participating in, the meeting you were whinging about.
It is difficult to leave. For me it was the hardest thing I have ever done. It took me years to get over it the trauma. The pain of what you are forced to give up never really goes away. But for me it was the best, the most profound and certainly the most courageous decision I have ever made. The longer you delay the worse it will be for you. You cannot live two separate lives and be in good mental health. The longer you delay in leaving the witnesses the greater the mental toll you will pay. The ONLY thing that I regret about leaving the JWs is that I did not do it sooner. I wasted years, and I will never get those years back.
Be kind to yourself. Stop wasting your precious time. Stop squandering your mental energy and ruining your mental health. Stop playing power games with the elders (you will always lose - it's their rules). Stop thinking that you can change the org from within (you can't).
Just leave.
Good advice everyone.
Yes...I know I am getting more and more frustrated, yet I have not been able to make the decisive physical break from the org just yet. (Although mentally I am well and truly out)
Never did I realise over a year ago when I chose my user name just appropriate it would be....
thanks for your honest comments.
I must second the advice to LEAVE IMMEDIATELY...
Please.
I quit two years ago this summer. It's still work to get my head on straight.
We all wish we never joined. I can only imagine what kind of a person I could have been without 25 years of mind control.
Are you at least missing 50% or more of the meetings?
Well, shame on you for being abrupt, I didn't know that was a disfellowshipped offence, lol.
Everyone has their own path to follow, in the end it's up to you. I think you can see by now that you won't be able to get anyone else out, so the only thing left to decide is the manner and timing of your exit, the end result is pretty much the same, with the possible exception of family that will or will not be forced to shun you.
I can say the leaving itself is the hardest part, it is hard to lose friends abruptly. Once you get through that though you can start to rebuild your life. However hard that is, you will then have freedom to live life on your terms. Freedom is a wonderful thing, once you have tasted that you will wonder why you waited so long. Already you are changing, in ways big and small, so you will find you will have less and less in common with your JW friends. However much you may cherish them, the relationships cannot and will not be the same, so cherish the memories and begin to let them go.
Yeah, it's the deep end of the pool, but come on in, the water's fine!
Stuck = I can see one of two outcomes if you don't physically remove yourself from that situation.
(1) You will have a mental breakdown and end up in psychiatric ward, after the have disfellowshiped you.
Or
(2) You are going to start having some very serious physical health problems, after they disfellowship you.
Stuck is this really worth it. Look you don't like been there, and this is obviously beginning to show. I feel it's only going to be a matter of time before you end up saying something that you can't back down from and they are going to kick you out. Hey its not a pleasant situation. I should know because I'm going through it.
Yes I hear you all loud and clear.
I probably only get to 50% of the meetings, and have not been out witnessing for over 2 months.....So that is progress right?
my wife also is in the same boat. NOW THAT is a huge progressive step too. While we haven't had THE conversation, we seem to be on the same page.
We do not socialise with cong social events, and only mix on occasions with a very small select group of witnesses. Also, we have both developed a nice social group OUTSIDE of the congregation....again, huge progress.
So I guess things are getting better in many ways....
STUCKINARUT- I think you are doing a very good job based on your situation. There is no " one way " to exit this JW cult. Some of us exited " cold turkey " stopped immediately like I did - and I imagine it's part of what what led to it taking years and years for me to see my 28 year old daughter again . That being said I have no regrets for stopping that way as my mind has been a lot more clear these last 12 years without WT indoctrination being pounded into my brain from the platform.
But some folks, perhaps like yourself who still HAVE believing JW spouses may have to take it slower and more gradual in exiting the cult or their marriages will go down the tubes in a very fast way. You are doing a good job Stuckinarut . You have the right and freedom of mind to voice your opinions to elders- I just suggest that you make sure that the elders don't corner your wife in a back room trying to pit her against you without you knowing. THAT is a scenario that has played out over the years in many of these incidents of one or the other marriage mate trying to escape the cult. So just keep your eyes open. You'll do fine. Stay smart like you are, tell your wife that you love her and in time your unconditional love to her will triumph over this criminal organization. Hang in there, we are here as a support to you, O.K. ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Thanks Flipper!
That means a great deal.
