Do you think an ideal relationship can work in these turbulent times?

Perry-Zephyr

I wonder about that and have researched it in prior times but I see so many that are falling apart. Thoughts?

jgnat

Where do you do your research? Divorce rates are down across the board.

I don't know any ideal marriages but I know many great ones. One of my favourite things about marriage is the freedom to be loved despite my flaws.

Now about "turbulent times", that's pretty subjective. There's lots of great things about living in this generation.

smiddy

P-Z

Are you saying that many of the " Ideal relationships" made with jehovahs blessing are falling apart ? , that their are many marriage breakdowns amongst JW`s ?

In my 33 years as a witness ,

I was amazed at how many marriage breakups , divorces , multiple marriages by individuals , lesbian and homosexuall encounters occured in this spiritual paradise , but then again I was naive .

smiddy

I definately think you can have a very fulfilling relationship because I have been in one for 34 years. There will never be a perfect relationship but that doesn't mean it is a failure. You have to be willing to forgive, work together and give of yourself.

According to the Peu Study JW's have the highest divorce rate and atheists have the lowest which I found interesting.

cultBgone

Aunt Fancy, can you post a link to that study? Might come in handy...

cantleave

Define "Ideal".

Even nugget and I have our occasional disagreements

MadGiant

"Do you think an ideal relationship work in these turbulent times?" - Perry

"Define "Ideal". Even nugget and I have our occasional disagreements" -cantleave

I agree with cantleave, while our grandmothers probably prayed that their future husbands would be caring fathers or know how to raise a barn or just be a supernatural hump machine (pausing to let that image sink in), some people are in hopes to be in an "ideal relationship". And while it may sound romantic, in reality trying to find your soul mate can lead to disappointment.

The problem with soul mate relationships is that they never live up to the golden, glowing statue we've built in our heads. While couples are obviously capable of meeting and instantly having an intense connection, eventually problems are going to arise in the relationship, mostly because keeping intensity going for long periods of time is exhausting. It's easy to think, "If we were truly soul mates, we wouldn't have any problems at all. This person is obviously a product of "satan's mocking design." At that point, individuals who believe in soul mates are more likely to check out or think there is no need to work at your relationship.

Do you consider finding that ideal person more important than any other aspect of a relationship, including emotional connection, financial security, and moral stance on beards? (JW joke)

I am not an expert,

Ismael

jam

The wife and I(19 years) have never had a down and out dragged out name

calling arguments in over 19 years, except when we started dating.

I was still seeing other women , well she called me some unmentionable

names and I thought this woman is serious.

But in all seriousness, she is just like my mom in so many ways, I hope

that's not weird. And being financially secure doesn't hurt, that's

the most important thing.

Antioch

Not sure what he/she means, but I would define "ideal" as a relationship that is able to sustain the mutual feeling that each is getting a good deal out of the relationship.

Instead, relationships often seem like they cut the "getting" count so thin that it's a constant struggle, OR one (or both) are actually cheating the other person altogether and one (or both) is suffering loss just to be in the relationship. After a few years, relationships seem to devolve and they just stop investing in each other like before when they were competing for each other's hearts.

To the question, yeah, I think such an ideal is possible in these times. In fact, I think it is even MORE likely in these times because illusions are much more easily destroyed by the empowerment of knowledge. It's easier now more-so than ever to have a strong basis to your perception of the world. Two people have more information at their hands to make good decisions about how to build what they want and what is reasonable to expect.

Personally, that's one of my main criteria when I'm checking out a gal. Is she reasonable? Does she look at the bright side of things? What is her definition of success? I ask myself if this gal seems like someone who I could sustain her feeling of "winning" by our being together.

Dis-Member

Remove the word 'ideal' and you may stand a chance.

Do you think an ideal relationship can work in these turbulent times?

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