My summer camp job experience

by d 37 Replies latest social relationships

  • d
    d

    This summer I met a russian women I worked at a summer camp for people with developmental disabilities and she is going back to Russia in September. I grew to really like her as a person. I just feel empty that she is now gone to New York heading beck to Moscow we hung out on three seperate occasions and I enjoyed myself and her company . I feel a great sense of deep sadness I need advice on how to deal with this sense of sadness.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Write her you fool.

  • d
    d

    We have faceebook and skype information but the distance of being so far from her pains me.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Ask her how she is doing.

  • d
    d

    I did she is in Boston and will talk on skype on the 31st of August.

  • d
    d

    bumped for more advice.

  • Dis-Member
    Dis-Member

    Why so long between Skype appointments? Does she not have a laptop or something? I never heard anyone in my life say: "Hey let's talk on Skype in 7 days time.."

    In my experience such long distance relationships are fraught with difficulty stress and frustration not to mention they can be very expensive. I have been in a few. I had a relationship with a woman that lived 1,484 miles from me. In the first year alone I spent just under £20,000 just on going back and forth visiting her 6 times. Then when you have to leave and come home the feeling of separation and loneliness is worse then you can imagine. It's actually quite horrible.

    I would be cautious about getting involved.

  • Paris
    Paris

    The real question is, does she feel the same way about you ? Is she involved with someone else ? Does she have a life in Russia that she loves ? Does she ever plan on leaving Russia ? Is she available ? Can you move to Russia ? Can she move to where you are ? Is this a one sided love affair ?

  • d
    d

    She can not talk on skype becuase she only has her mobile iphone. We talk on facebook and she wants to be just friends.But her friends have told me on many occasions she really likes me. I also with time grew to like her. Trust me this not a internet relationship. I worked with this women for 2 1/2 almost 3 months and we really grew confortable around each other.

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    Long-distance relationships simply don't work, so I don't know what to say. Do you want to move to Russia? I've seen it work for other guys who ended up marrying the girls they chased. Otherwise just work on getting over her. You can do this by reminding yourself that only a minority of relationships succeed, and if you got to know her better, you might not have liked her as much as the idealized image you have of her now. Just rationalize the whole situation, talking yourself through it.

    Besides that, the simple passage of time will alleviate those feelings. Your hormones are trying to tell you to establish a relationship; it's very much a chemical reaction that you just have to get through. But we've all had crushes and gotten over them. I was in a similar situation to yours, but thankfully I didn't try to keep in contact with the girl because that would just be prolonging the inevitable. I was crushing on her so hard that I had literal heart pains for a while after she left, but years later I'm 100% over her. She was sweet, but she's just another girl to me now. That's what time does.

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