How have you changed since finding TTATT ? (page 2)

Coded Logic

We were always told that we needed to study more and needed to go out in service more and, that in this, we would find fullfillment. But, looking back now, I can see just how much the JW Doctrine is designed to stunt our ability to think and deaden our feelings of compassion. And its no wonder I used to feel so hollow inside. Because in order to reach my full potnential as a human being I needed to be able to use my entire brain. And I needed to be able to think for myself - both of which is greatly discouraged by the WTBTS.

It is aslo in retrospect that I can now see that my deconversion - and eventual path to Athiesm - wasn't a scientfic pursuit. Rather, it was a spiritual pursuit. It was me accepting my own humanity and learning to grow as a person. To be able to see the world as it is - without the need for any mysticism or appeals to the supernatural. And my skepticism hasn't just changed my mind . . . it's also expanded it.

I now know that the atoms of which you and I are composed were first manufactured and prototyped in the heart of a dying star. It gives me goose bumps to think that the carbon in our bodies are the remnants of a super nova. Because its not just we who are inside the universe but it is also the universe that is inside of us. We are the univers seeking to understand itself. When I look up into the stary night I'm often saddened because I know I will never reach those stars within my lifetime. But that saddness always turns to joy because the star light has reached out across the ages and the eons and has touched me. And I now know that the more I learn about those stars the more I will understand our universe. And the more I understand our universe . . . the more I begin to understand myself.

thedog1

Things have changed dramatically for me in the last year. Mostly mentally, as my outlook has gone from thinking I had the truth with some reservations, to realizing that there are huge gaping holes in what I have spent over 30 years believing. In the space of this year I have stepped aside as an elder, and now find it very difficult to go on the ministry. Still at the meetings. My wife knows something is amiss and we have discussed a few things. Starting to think of non-Witnesses as more normal, not somehow people who will infect me in some way.

Phizzy

Thanks for the responses, all positive in their way. And especial thanks to Coded Logic for your post, it was a pleasure to read, Prose Poetry.

(Eat your heart out CoCo).

As someone who has been out for a number of years now, I realise how difficult those early stages are, your whole belief system and worldview are changed, and you have to walk along a road that you are not clear where it is going to lead.

I can tell you that things get easier and better. Despite the problems that many face, especially the heart-rending one of having family still locked in to the cult, as we journey along that road, we change and become better people, and so are more comfortable in our selves, and hence happier than we would have been.

I believe I was never truly happy until I really cut the cord with the WT/JW religion.

crazyhorse

Its been about two months now since learning TTATT and I agree with Dis-member. I have a sense of freedom that's truly peaceful and in tune with Jesus that it makes me have an inner sense of happiness . I now serve God out of my desire to do not because I'm being told to or because I am doing it for the Watchtower. The while WT thing is a biig barrier in serving God. They have blocked the way to Jesus and to God but many of the sleeping witnesses have no idea of this.

LongHairGal

Phizzy:

As others have mentioned, we go through an initial shock, disbelief, hurt, anger, rage once we learn The Truth About The Truth... There was also a sense of sadness about broken dreams... The acceptance part comes later after you work out these initial feelings... It is a process.

However, I do confess that I also felt relief.

Relief that I no longer had to spend time in a phony brotherhood around people who really did not like me and most of whom I did not care for either. I was also relieved not to be on the useless treadmill that is the JW religion: useless meetings and a "ministry" that accomplished nothing except to waste time, resources and gasoline.

Good riddance to this oppressive load of garbage... So much for Jesus' "light load and kindly yoke"!

One of the tragedies of the religion, besides the monumental waste of time and years, is trying to cut people off from their blood relatives... I came to the realization (just in time) that these are the only people who really care about me. I was also grateful I was not raised in this cult and wanted to get back my "normal" feelings from childhood.

One of the first things I did was to re-establish contact with relatives (and made some apologies as well). I was grateful that it was not too late. I also sent out holiday greeting cards for the first time in decades. What a good feeling.

I hope anybody lurking here learns from my experience and acts NOW because time is of the essence. I wish you all the best!

DesirousOfChange

We are able to pursue things we enjoy, even on "meeting nights and weekends" without the guilt of missing meetings and service.

Yet I still have some anger and bitterness over the deception that exists at the hands of the WTS leaders.

Doc

Ucantnome

i'm still the same,

maybe a little less flatulence but i'm still me.

eyeuse2badub

I feel so liberated after 62 years in the cult. Although the last 15-16 years have been doubt ridden. No more FOG. No more wasted weekends. No more fear of a god that simply does not answer prayers.

just saying

eyeuse2badub

OnTheWayOut

As a JW: After leaving the JW's:

But seriously, I do think I retain many qualities (such as appreciation for people thinking differently and being different) that caused me to be less of an ass as a JW and led me to question the religion. But I also see that I learned to be more of a skeptic and I have a more open attitude toward things that are vastly different from my lifestyle and choices. As a JW, I was a bit of a homophobe and a conservative. Now I am a flaming liberal. When I first learned TTATT, I was leaning toward Christianity but followed evidence and skepticism and I allowed myself to see the flaws in the Bible just as I allowed myself to see the flaws in Watchtower. I am now very much an atheist.

How have you changed since finding TTATT ?

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