Please help....in a dilemma..

by crazyhorse 32 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  cultBgone

  Crazyhorse...stay focused on making a real life for yourself, even though at present you are with your family and are subjected to their wishes.

  Settle this issue in YOUR mind, that you don't wish to ever be a MS, and make your peace with that thought. It's important to hold your own core principles that guide you no matter what others pressure you to do. You know TTATT and realize that accepting any appointment is the same thing as willingly placing your foot in an animal trap. Even if you manage to free yourself, you will always bear more pain and scars by succumbing to their pressure and pleadings. Remember they are not pressuring you to improve your life, but to improve theirs.

  Borrowing from a US campaign to keep people off drugs: JUST SAY NO. Then go on about your life, knowing that they may well pester you but you never, never have to give in.
• 

  Giordano

  The most important thing to not do at this point is to get romantically involved with a sister who is an unquestioning JW.

  Look for a sister who arrives late to meetings and ignores the Elders. At assemblies a proper mate will look a bit annoyed that they have to be there.

  A bit more flash in their clothing and makeup and the ability to show off a nice figure without looking trashy.

  Make sure they are pleased by your effort to make something out of your life through higher education.

  Look for someone who wouldn't look for a KH to attend while on vacation!

  I found my JW bride 50 years ago and we both strolled out of the JW world hand in hand 48 years ago.
• 

  crazyhorse

  Hmm..thanks for your support. This is a great pressure because my Cong was mostly setup by my grandfather so the Cong is made up of many family members and they all know I'm a good boy. To add it all, my siblings and parents want me to be an MS. I don't know if you can all feel my pressure. But I have made the decision to decline. Its going to be very hard. One of my uncles will be part of the elders meeting me. Everyone knows how very responsible I am in my duties( still after learning TTATT).
• 

  rebel8

  A certain amount of interpersonal pressure is normal when you are not doing something a person you care to impress wants you to do, but you have the added pressure of the Armageddon threat and loss of all your friends/family.

  It seems though that you have to find a way to say no. Think about all the reasons a person might reasonably say no to the appointment, and pick one:

  • I'm not ready for the responsibility.
  • I need to grow more spiritually first.
  • I'm not going to attend meetings anymore.
  • I don't want to.
  • No thank you.
  • I am going to meditate and pray on this and I'll get back to you.
  • I have developed IBS which is causing me to have explosive diarrhea. I will need to get this under control before I can take on more responsibility, so as to not bring reproach on jehoho.
  • I'm depressed and discouraged.
  • I'm going to move somewhere where the need is greater.
  • I'm anointed.
  • Jehovah told me I'm Charles Russell reincarnated.
  • I'm going to serve jehoho by tending a field of Miracle Wheat and feeding the hungry.
  • I've developed Tourette's and will blurt out random apostate statements in the microphone.
  • I've developed an erectile disorder causing me to have spontaneous erections while giving talks on the platform.
  • I've joined a softball league and we play during meeting times.
  • The demons have been bothering me.
• 

  defender of truth

  Lol at Rebel8's post :)
  
  crazyhorse:"But I have made the decision to decline. Its going to be very hard."
  Well done. I'm not sure that I'd have the guts to say no.
  I'd recommend planning what you are going to say and then stick to it, firmly repeating (for example) 'no thank you, I cannot cope with this at the moment for xxxxx reason'. Perhaps share it with us and have a practice. Or not.
  
  Oh, and stop being so darn responsible.
  From now on, this is how you should look when the COBOE asks you where you left the keys to the Kingdom Hall..
  
  http://actioncoachstevegoranson.com/files/2011/04/Monkey-Question.jpg
• 

  Paris

  What should I do? crazyhorse

  Try this; GROW UP.

  Move to another town. (you can go home and visit )

  Get a job away from home, cut all financial ties. If these people knew you from childhood, you will always be a child in their eyes.

  Get some friends who RESPECT you. Get your own $$$. Pay your own way.

  Live in your own place with your own furniture you bought. Separate yourself as a completely indepeendent adult.

  These nosey ignorant useless self righteous elders will find someone else to pick on and forget you even existed. Believe me, when you disappear, life goes on for them and they will barely remember your name, in about 6 months.

  my Cong was mostly setup by my grandfather so the Cong is made up of many family members and they all know I'm a good boy.

  When does the little boy existing under the shadow of his misguided Cult Member Grandfather, become a MAN ? Your family is in a CULT. A cult who will tell you to defer your life till the new system, and 30 years later you will wake up and find your life is gone. Your parents will be dead and these elders gone or too old to function.

  Have you read Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz ? If not - do so immediately and do not discuss it with your family. You can download it or go to the library and find it, or buy a copy on Amazon. Raymonf Franz sat on the Governing Body.
• 

  4thgen

  RUN!
• 

  LisaRose

  Ask yourself, if this is God's organization, his only channel of communication with mankind, why do they need to pressure people to be a part of it?

  Think about it.
• 

  Old Goat

  If you wish to remain a Witness, tell them forthrightly that you do not want the appointment. Quell questions as to why. Tell them you fell harassed over it and it's damaging your spirituality.

  If you don't want to be a Witnesses, stop attending meetings.
• 

  crazyhorse

  Paris, appreciate your help but I can't just do all you're suggesting to me. That's because independence isn't regarded so highly in my country. Even though my family is quite liberal and educated, because of out strong history in the org "that truth" binds us in some way together. "Going astray" from the norm is going to bring a lot of pressure. When the time is due, I'll have my own place and lice on my own; maybe even live on another country.

  Haha Rebel8 that's funny. I've thought on things on that line.

  Yes, I just read CoC. Wow such an eye opener. Most witnesses are left in the dark and are ultimately controlled like puppets. Ray is a true embodiment of christian love. And then when I want to express my freewill and christian freedom, I'm pressured not to. One of my greatest source of the dilemma is seeing my parents unhappy and distraught because I choose not to be a MS or even leave the org.

  Anyway thanks evveryone