Why are you missing your daughter? You are seeing her every day arent you? If not, why not?
work really hard to keep up your relationship with your daughter!
my little girl is 16 months. I absolutely DO want to be a big part of her life. I love that little girl more than myself.
Gosh, you guys keep talking like this
and I'm gonna end up respecting you.
As will your daughters, I'm sure.
(Especially if you do everything you can to follow through!)
I don't have a daughter, but I am one.
And have a wealth of experience in
'raising my parents' through the
whole ugly divorce / parental visitation
thing.
Daddy's mean one helluva lot to their little girls psyches.
More than they can possibly imagine or grasp.
Definitely keep in mind that ol' saying that
'actions speak louder than words'.
Let the ex say what she will.
You be the bigger man.
As your little bambina grows up, she will see the dif, even if she primarily lives with her mother.
Even if subjected to 'hate' propaganda against you.
This realization can take a long time but your consistent actions now and over the long term, can ensure it happens.
I could go on and on...but ya know...judging from the warm fuzzies in your comments above...you guys are already on the right track and don't seem to need anywhere near as much "raising" as my parents did.
BOOYAH!
Zanex, as for telling your parents about your divorce...
Hmmm...my first thoughts were to fight fire with fire...
After i got some vindictive thoughts outta my system, i thought, well, of your daughter....maybe try including them in on
being a positive factor in the situation ('specially where your daughter is concerned) before they have a chance to be too negative a factor? What could you say to them, that will get them thinking less about criticizing your divorce and more about loving and supporting your precious daughter, their grandchild?
Could you simply state...."___ and I are separated and will be getting a divorce." If they argue, refute, belittle or anything negative, don't even acknowledge such statements as if they deserve a response. Keep your cool, (it's amazing how empowering self-control is) and redirect to a positive (take the high road). "I'm sure you would agree that the most important thing here is helping (daughter's name) get through this. I welcome any upbuilding love and support you can give her." If they keep being negative, just keep repeating yourself on this. They'll eventually shut up.
i dunno. i guess i don't really know the dynamics of your relationship with them in order to help much on this question, so i'll just shut up now.
Ultimately, if your parents don't show you love, respect, or support,,,well, the best advice i can think to give is...break that chain. Start a new chain, for your daughters sake. Show her by your example, how it should be done. Seek out ways to teach yourself how to do this for yourself and for your daughter. How can you and your daughter, starting right now, begin a new, functional, supportive way of family life?
The next question to ask yourself might be,
"How can i change the comment "I absolutely DO want to be a big part of her life" into "I absolutely AM a big part of her life". "What can I do right this minute, this day, this week, about that?"
YOU CAN DO IT MAN!
(ok, i'm ACTUALLY gonna shut up now. lol.)
SPAZ
