Reflections on 1 year WT Free-breaking the chains... (page 2)

zeb

as someone said to me recently here, when i suggested to an elder that the cong install power-point, do not "suggest". To suggest means you have been thinking and that is not on in wt world.

I was born-in/never baptized. I started questioning a lot as I grew older. The Ethiopian Famine of the 1970s struck a chord deep in me. If God really cared about his 'children' why did he allow so much suffering? Any normal human father would be doing far more than the omnipotent 'Heavenly Father' was doing to aid his children.

As I entered my teen years more adult topics were introduced that I was unable to accept (eg: misogyny, blood policy, door to door service, 'we are preaching to all the inhabitted Earth'). I increasingly disagreed with the WTS interpretation of scripture. I also increasingly disagreed with the Bible and other religions as well.

But it wasn't until I started coming to this site that I learned just how much my suspicions about this religion, all religions, the Bible, and God were true.

There has been an immense weight lifted from my whole being. The Armageddon nightmares are gone. I no longer feel it necessary to judge others as this religion wants us to do.

MissFit

Thank you all for your responses.

I have really appreciated the JWN community on this site.

There were things I didn't even know that I didn't know. For example logical fallacies... the links really helped. I would never have looked them up because I didnt know they existed.

I am in an uniquely fortunate situation regarding fading.

I am married to a non-JW, my children never embraced the"truth", my JW mom lives clear across the country from me, I have been physically in and out of the org. for over 20 years.

The difference for me is now I am mentally out.

I don't have very many social ties.

It has almost been a year since I went to a meeting. I did not go to the conventions or memorial.

I am keeping an open mind regarding god or a creator.

Data dog: I hear you. That is one of the hardest concept to get used to...death being final.

I think acknowledging that can also make life more meaningful.

No do overs. This is the only life we have.

I am finding that I am getting to be more comfortable in my own skin also.

Phizzy

It gets even better as time goes on, believe me.

We have a Celebration on the anniversary of the day I walked out of the K.H for the last time, that was the day I started to walk on the Road to Freedom and a better life, so is as worthy of celebration as any Birthday. Hic !

MissFit

Realising that the JWs do not have "the truth" and the society does not have a direct line to god is very freeing.

I personally do not feel it is my mission to expose the Watchword or change anyone's mind.

What people want to believe is their own business.

I have noticed my relationship with my daughters have gotten closer.

They do not censor themselves with me anymore. All topics are on the table.

It feels good to be able to discuss anything openly.

I still have a ways to go on my journey, but I am enjoying the ride.

Still Totally ADD

The other day Reopened Mind and I was talking about this on our drive home from a potluck with friends. It dawn on me this would have been the night to get dressed and go to a meeting. I told my wife don't it feel good not to worry about driving at night to go to the KH or someones house. She said she has totally forgotten about doing that anymore. We went on about all the things we would have to do during the week concerning the Wt. It was no wonder we was tried all the time. The only thing my wife said she missed was dressing up for the meetings. I smiled and said I hated the tie and suit put at lease now when we do dress up it is for a party or some special event not to set in a KH for 2 hours or a sport event building for 6 hours listening to cult talk. We both smiled and started talking about the fall to come. Still Totally ADD

Fernando

Hey MissFit, well described. I imagine the journey is similar for many here on JWN; it certainly has been for me too.

MissFit

Heaven says:" I no longer feel it is necessary to judge others"

Ditto. I am glad you have found a way to be happy and that you are nightmare free.

It is a relief to know that my family and I are not living a death sentence.

I never realized how much I was being controlled by fear.Displease god ( and by extension the organization) and no paradise for you.

Totally ADD and reopened mind: Congratulations. You really know you're out when you stop referring to the days as meeting days, service days, but actually by the day of the week.

Its so nice to make plans and not have to check if it is on a meeting night. My work schedule is so much easier. I work the shifts I'm given guilt free.

Gustv Cintrn

MissFit,

It is good to hear you have found your way and it makes you a happier better person.

GC

MissFit

Thank you Simon for providing this forum. I wish I had something like this available to me when I was physically fading.

Actually I probably would have been too afraid to visit a site like this.

I am so glad I accidentally found this site. I am still learning a lot.

You are right it does take awhile to get rid of the guilt and impending doom.

It is liberating to understand on an intellectual level why I was feeling the guilt and to know there is nothing to feel guilt about.

I was talking to my JW sister snd she mentioned how guilty she felt for missing the meetings and service because she had been so ill.

I told her there was nothing to be guilty about. Jehovah knows her heart. I also mentioned that maybe the guilt might be one of the reasons she is so ill.

Reflections on 1 year WT Free-breaking the chains...

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