ISIS must celebrate many many many birthdays as they do love a good beheading....
More friction with jw wife regarding moms bday bbq.
by marriedtoajw 19 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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marriedtoajw
Misfit yes she is a born in with gungho jw grandmother, parents, especially her mom and sister and bil but never baptized til age 36. She was hopibg i would study and come in with her. But i saw thru their tactics ie. love bombing. She has always gone thru gungho spirts and lulls. The thing is she attends bday functions for her extended nonjw family without me usually because I have to work and she goes without any qualms.
Sometimes our marriage feels normal. But our religious issues has always been the elephant in the room. Then she seems to want to take a stand from time to time and not want to attend my family functions lately.
See it may be because she knows I have talked to my sisters a few years ago about my confusion caused by her gunghoness then lulls. I think that she is mentally strong in the faith but tries not to be obvious about what she really believes. I use to think she was conflicted and naybe she use to be but since she became aware that ive done my own independent research and her hope of me one day possibly becoming a jw was crushed, she has shut down.
Although she has never been open to me about any of her real beliefs. I know everything I know about JW's through my own research. She has never really mentioned anything to me about any of her beliefs. Which is why I feel that I never really knew my wife until I did my research and then my blinders dropped and everything began to make sence. She hid her innerself from me for years and yet I could see she was hiding something but I couldnt put my finger on it.
Well, looking back i think i knew but didnt want to confront the cult personality. When we did have brief conversations about it a she pretty much said to me what is there to say. In other words nothing can be done about it it is what it is.
Its gone on like this for years. Shes a good woman but no ones perfect she has her flaws goo and not all of then i attribute to her religion, just the ones that annoy me.
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marriedtoajw
Sorry for errors, using my phone...
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marriedtoajw
I dont know if she had a good time or not. I think she use to have a good time at these family events but i think she has become more gaurded since she knows i have talked to my sisters about our issues. She's always had problems with trusting anyone. She's much more expressive and open when shes around her family, even the nonjw ones but not to the degree as when she is with her jw family. She's always laughing at almost everything when she's around them. I mean awkwardly so. She's never like that around anyone else. She holds back it seems but she seems to have a better time when she's around my extended family. Not so much when she's with my sisters anymore.
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Oubliette
Go with the kids and enjoy yourself. It's really sad how this religion divides families and destroys relationships.
Let's review: It's a cult!
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Witness My Fury
Has she recently been to the district assembly or whatever they call it these days... (regional convention?) that usually kicks off a lot of cultic thinking for a while...
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marriedtoajw
Hi witness, ummm she went to 2 day assembly in July. Thing is she was in the middle of a lull. She hadn't miss a meeting in almost a year up til that point. Then in late May i think she started skipping meetings and probably only went to 2 or 3 meetings til now. Elders came to check on her once and called her as well. I have a hard time calling jws brother or sister but "a sister" came over one day to invite her to a "get together" which she didnt go to. I've seen it in the passed where she would get gungho after an assembly but not this time. The assembly was in the middle of a 4 month lull for her. I think the lull started when we just happened to be watching a documentary about Scientology on tv and the topic of shunning was being discussed. I could feel my wife getting uncomfortable and then she said how terrible that was.
Now see, its stuff like that that confuses me because all the research that ive done it seens that all jws know that thet are suppose to shun ex members. So either my wife is playing dumb about this or its not as integraded into jw culture a must or as much as its said on this site and others. What explains this?
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Mikado
no, the the reason she felt uncomfortable and said it was terrible is that in reality she knows that uber witnesses would shun her...
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marriedtoajw
Please someone elaborate on this shunning issue. Why would my wife say shunning is terrible and still be part of an organization that supposedly requires its members to shun former members. Is it possible for her to be that ignorant of the society's teaching on this.
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Oubliette
Why would my wife say shunning is terrible and still be part of an organization that supposedly requires its members to shun former members.
It's called cognitive dissonance.
When she sees other groups do it, she intuitively knows it's wrong.
But then she tries to reconcile it with her beliefs that she is in "The One True Religion."
That belief trumps the wrongness of shunning and her brain shuts down.
It's a very difficult thing for anyone to overcome.