I am the only JW in my family, and df'd. My 3 children were baptised, and are very good people, they left after my sons were molested by an elder. My siblings (7) and I were raised as JWs, none got baptised, all left and did other things with their lives. I've been going to meetings for 61 years.. I talk to my kids, and family as none are Witnesses so that's great. But, I have no friends, don't know how to make friends. I don't trust anyone. I always feel this sharp pain of sadness. I believed everyone felt like me, when I was active. I was so happy, had wonderful friends, did good deeds, studied alot. But when the elder drugged and molested my kids and raped another boy in our Hall, I found out I didn't have any friends...and my poor kids, never got any sympathy or understanding. My oldest son has had drug and alcohol problems ever since. Since then, 17yrs has gone by and in that time, I have seen more evil at the KH than I can believe, in elders' meetings....and shepherding visits. It still shocks me. Now when I go to a meeting, or listen on the phone, I don't believe anyone. AM I screwed up? Yes. But I have happiness too. My husband is very supportive, I married him after I was df'd, only knew him for a month, but he was someone who I could talk to. ANd he is still the only person I can talk to and who understands me. I lost everything back then and so did my kids, and I am 63 yrs old now. I am happy, I am going to school, studying Arabic and Spanish, I love my flower garden, my husband and I do a bit of traveling. Two elders were here a couple of weeks ago. They started to open their bibles... I told them to close the bible and don't say a word out of it, and that I was sick of them telling me I am a sh*** person because I am df'd. AND that I wouldn't allow them to talk about Jehovah, as he had nothing to do with any of this. I was upset and I scared them, because they knew I was ready to start swinging my fists. I had had enough. Enough of their torture. When does it end? and yes, I did see a psychiatrist for 9 years after I was df'd.
How Have You Been Affected By Having Been A Jehovah's Witness?
by minimus 27 Replies latest jw friends
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Simon
Strong feelings of anger over lost years and opportunities are understandable, especially when the KH can negatively impact life decisions affecting career, family and relationships.
It's better to look forward and make the best of your future life though than dwell too much on the past - but it should never be forgotten as the lessons were hard-learned and we should be inocculating our children from influences like those.
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TableForOne
Ha ha Outlaw, you cheeky git.
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I've never been happier since I left earlier this year.
Baptized in 1991, didn't realise I was going into a mind control cult.
I now appreciate my freedom more than I would've done if I'd had my freedom for all those years.
I don't look back at the wasted years that I'm unable to change.
I look forward, and the future excites me.
TF1
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Balaamsass2
Hard to say unless a person had an identical twin raised by "normal" non-cult parents.
As a 50 something man I am embarrassed I was so gullible to swallow so much horse.....t for my adult life.
Skipped normal social life. Skipped college. Wasted time at Beth hell, Piosneering and traveling to "need is greater" back-waters. Missed having children "because the end is near". ...yes...I am an embarrassed ASS who gets in a few revenge kicks here and there.
Trying hard to focus on making life better for us...but this damm website draws me like a moth to a flame. I will be doing what I should and all the sudden I wonder: "What are those crazy heretics up to today?"..and I find myself here..........
oh well..time for a drink...CHEERS "Beer is the cause and solution to all lifes problems..." quote: Homer Simpson
The ASS
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sowhatnow
probably, but Ill never know how much. Im not terribly depressed about it, we cant change the past. were misfits I guess.
my life right now is as boring and pointless as it ever was. all that has changed for me is personal knowlege.
I think my 2 adult kids are happier though.
it depends on how easy you can make freinds, if you can get out or have a job , to make freinds, and IF you used to have freinds before you were a jw, and can get back with them.
I have none so too bad for me.
apparently no one has time for freindships. it make me mad all the times I went out of my way for people and got nothing more than a verbal thanks. never a freindship developed. what the ?
as for me, being raised in it, with some of my family still in it, its always in my face. my parents are getting older so i have to deal with that crap of age realted problems. I f I want to be rotten, and not want to help them, i can make my positon known to the elders. then my mom would not talk to me. or would she??? hmmm
i have to avoid any conver sations about religion with my mother. shes convinced that Ive read apostate material and watch videos.
yea like 10 years ago i knew this was a bunch of crap. never needed anything other than a bible to prove it wrong.
its much easier obviously for younger ones t oget out, we older ones who are or were married and have kids, we have not a chance to live over our live, were in the time of our life where our parents are getting old and were starting to have our own health issues to deal with, so we feel cheated. we go from taking care of kids to taking care of parents. its not fair. never any time to do what we want and find our own talents and do any personal enrichment. not enough time to start over .
im angry only now because after getting out of the wt guilt grip, as of only last year, I cant get on with my life becasue I am housebound due to something seriously with my foot. [plantar facaitis turned nerve damage. mri tomorow]
so i cant work a job. Im so sick of sitting here in pain not being able to live life.
If I was able to work a job, id be on my own and out of here , probably move someplace different.
when my husband and i were seperated 2 yrs ago, and i had my own apartment i was still sort of going to the k hal. so i was looking for a jw single man, and there wasnt any. a few months later my husband begged me to come back to him.
so being a 'good christain', i forgave my husband , but nothing did change anyway, so, Im still in a marraige that sucks.
but only for the money and insurence. we havent slept together in over a year. its lonely sleeping alone when your only 52.
when i moved back with my husband and went to the k hall, not one elder approached me the whole year i was there, and asked my how i was doing, or where my publisher record was. till this day none of them spoke to me. so i faded away, and no one misses me.
thanks for nothing, jw's huh?
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daringhart13
I have a deep, deep anger about the heartbreak they have.......and are going to......put my mother through. All she ever wanted was to be loved and spend eternity with animals.
It was all a lie.
I can't even type about it.
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...OUTLAW