Elders, apostasy and disfellowshipping issue's - thoughts please

by FeelingFree 36 Replies latest jw friends

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  cultBgone

  When many first learn "the truth™" they feel an intense desire to share it with EVERYONE...the standard comment was that new "studies" should be locked up for 6 months because they actually scare folks away.

  It seems the same reaction is true when many first learn TTATT...they want everyone else to know what they've learned and think it's okay to share. But the safest course of action is to proceed with your Fade and let others wonder what you're up to. Telling family members and friends won't get them out, but it will get you pulled in front of the eldubs if you allow it to happen. And if you met with them and told you your reasons, you would most definitely be labeled as an Apostate™, oh poor dears have decided to follow Satan™, see what happens when you don't Obey™? You will never "open the eyes" of your family by allowing yourselves to get df'd. You will only reinforce their loyalty to the bOrg.

  Best advice from all the posts similar to this: Don't answer the phone when they call. Don't answer the door when they just "happen" to drop by. Don't respond...ever. They'll get the idea in time and stop pestering you.

  Wishing you the best and brightest future possible! Go enjoy your lives.
• 

  Vidiot

  FeelingFree - "I also said if the elders knew all my reasons for leaving they would view me as an apostate and I would get disfellowshipped. Her reaction to this was that I was very judgmental and of course they wouldn't think that at all!"

  Who knows? Maybe if that actually happened, it would give her a reality check.

  PS: Not that I'm suggesting you actually do it.
• 

  BU2B

  Daniel1555- You got lucky because as I understand it, all it takes to be apostate is that you BELIEVE anything different than what the GB teaches. Sharing with others is not required. Maybe they didnt have the heart to DF you because you share a different point of view.
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  Separation of Powers

  It is easy to blind one's self to the reality, as is the case with your IL's. Although you may express doubts and doubts in and of themselves are not disfellowshippable (is that a word?), there are, almost inevitably, members of the bodies of elders that will not be able to discern doubt from apostasy. So, be careful when expressing anything with them.

  I heard of a case where a brother just lost all religious perspective. Issues in his life affected his faith in everything to the point where he simply did not believe anymore in anything. He told the elders he no longer believed. Some wanted him out. Others felt compassion for him, cause they knew of his situation. He wasn't a threat to anyone. He kept to himself. Didn't communicate with anyone really. Still, there was this almost vehement desire to see him ousted by a number of the body. Is agnosticism apostasy? I doubt it. The moral of the story.....fading is safer than speaking.
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  AlwaysBusy

  Don't say anything...period.
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  steve2

  FeelingFree, once you are viewed as an apostate, there is no turning back - except on your craven knees and a year or two spent at the back of the Hall.

  As for your MIL, be warned: She will emote about how devastated she is and how much she wants you back and loves you, blah, blah, blah - and then turn her back on you in a flood of tears. All because - ahem - they really, really love you.

  You need to wake up to the dreary fact that you are not above being disfellowshipped no matter how much their love bombing has gone to your head.

  Remember, even loving shepherds sometimes lead their flocks to the slaughterhouse. It often astonishes city folk that even in the lovely green country side, shepherds routinely send their nice, white, woolly little flocks to the slaughterhouse to have their blood spilt. There is no peaceful pasture for most flocks of sheep.
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  lurkernomore

  Wow I think steve needs to re-read the OP! The point was clearly made that Ff couldn't give a rats arse if she gets dfd or not ,so to speak of being above dfing seems rather unfounded if not a little disrespectful.
• 

  FeelingFree

  Steve2 - I know full well I will get disfellowshiped the moment I open my mouth to an elder or even a member of the cong. The reason I mentioned the "love bombing" was because I felt it was quite pathetic as no one usually bothers with us and then all of a sudden we have all these "friends" getting in contact asking how we are, is there anything they can do for us etc. I'm finding it very annoying and stressful and wish they would just leave us alone!

  As for getting df'd if you had read my posts correctly I really dont see how it can make much difference to me, my family or my life right now. I will never change my mind now I know what I know so will never want to go back...... EVER!

  As for the MIL not speaking to me anymore surely that can only be a bonus haha.
• 

  FeelingFree

  Daniel - it must really depend on who your elders are, as I would think your situation was pretty rare?

  Cultbgone - Haha I know exactly what you mean about new studies they are far too full on. Me and my husband are keeping our mouths closed as to why we don't want to go anymore. I think it's the safest thing to do and also I believe that everybody should be allowed to believe what they want and I dont want to go around mouthing off my opinions trying to change people's minds. It's one of the things I dislike about witnesses so much, feeling they have to tell everybody they are right and everybody else is wrong.

  Thanks all for your thoughts.
• 

  Crazyguy

  Don't talk to any elders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!