Thanks everybody! I do live in the US and i have 3 younger siblings. I actually do have a part time cleaning job its not much but better than nothing :)
Help? :(
by BlackWolf 41 Replies latest jw experiences
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Oubliette
BlackWolf: My dream is to go to art school but everyone seems to look down upon me for it.
It's not true that everyone looks down upon you. We don't.
Your dreams can happen, they can come true. But you must make them, it's up to you. Hold on to your dreams!
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LisaRose
I am so sorry you are in this situation right now, that must be very hard. Your parents are probably trying to raise you the best way they know how, but they are being deceived by a manipulative religion, so their decisions are not their own. Do your best to do all they ask, hopefully they will give you more priviledges as you show you are responsible.
It probably seems like forever, but in three years you will be an adult and will have more control of your life. Until then you need to do all that you can to prepare yourself for the life you want. If you have access to online resources, then focus on learning all that you can. If you dont, see if you can get books at the library. Art school is possible if you apply yourself. If you went to a regular school you could get help with this from a school counselor, but check to see if there is anything like that for home schooled teens. Do everything you can to prepare yourself to qualify for scholarships and grants.
We had a young lady here on the board who was home schooled also, and her mother didn't bother to teach her anything so she actually couldn't even read. She studied on her own and got her GED, and went on to college. If she could do it, so can you.
Good luck, I hope you get to follow your dreams.
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Pete Zahut
If you are in the U.S., even though you are not enrolled in the public school system, you can still call your local High School and ask to speak to a counselor and explain your situation. Tell them that you are being home schooled, that your family is very religious and you can only associate with those of the same faith but there aren't any kids your age you can trust. Explain that you feel trapped and would like to know what advice or help they may be able to offer you.
Before you do that, and if you think it wouldn't make things worse between you and your parents, you could write a polite respectful letter to them and explain you feelings, just as you've done here. Putting your thoughts in a letter and letting them read it may diffuse the emotion that sometimes gets in the way when you talk to them face to face. I wouldn't say anything about your feelings about the existence of God or about being a JW because this is a scary thing for religious parents to hear. You might mention that you have prayed to God but you don't think he cares about you because he doesn't seem to help in the one area you need help with. Tell them that the only thing you could think to do is to write them this letter and maybe that's what he wants you to do. Tell them that you appreciate everything they have done for you (give examples) but your are feeling trapped and it's effecting your mental well being. Let them know that you don't want to go wild or do anything wrong but you need to be around others your age so that you develop normal social skills and outside interests. Remind them that the Watchtower advises JW's not to isolate their children from the world, instead they should insulate them and that you are feeling isolated. Tell them that you are concerned that you won't know how to act when one day do have to go out into the world. Just remember to be respectful, mature, don't cast blame, rather suggest solutions. Tell them that you want to go to the public school even part time if only to take an art class or some other subject you are intrested in. If you think it wouldn't be too weird, you might even suggest that you'd like them to answer you in a letter as well, just to keep emotions from getting the better of you all if that has been a problem in the past.
Remember, plenty of non JW 15 year olds who attend school and have friends and go places, still feel the way you do. They also have to deal with snarky gossiping friends and parents who they think are overly restrictive. It's part of being your age to be somewhat discontent but it sounds like you do have some legitimate reasons to feel isolated.
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ToesUp
Blackwolf
I experienced similar things growing up in this cult @ the same age as you. It is a very lonely place. The only thing that saved me was meeting my best friend and mate in life early on. Keep focused on your education. Education is what will allow you to go on your own and rely on yourself. Three years will go by quickly. Rely and trust in yourself. You can do ANYTHING you set your mind too. Play the game to get your education and once you do, move on and take care of yourself.
I know this sounds selfish but take care of yourself. NO ONE else will do that for you.
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jhine
Welcome BlackWolf .
Some.good advice here . It is true that you are at that "awkward " age anyway and life seems to suck whatever your circumstances , and school can be lonely and scary sometimes too .
Being brought up as a JW is isolating but as it has been pointed out already you only have a few years to go before you are an adult and can make your own choices .
Stay on this site and rant away !
Jan
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berrygerry
Hi Blackwolf:
I have experienced the weirdness of being a JW "youth" and have all too often seen the "Social stunting" that the WT world creates (and exists upon) in my own teenage children and far too many others.
Being a teen is hard enough as it is, never mind throwing the WTS absurdities into it. I'm surprised that as many teens survive as it is. (Although, no one knows what damage has actually been done.)
School is a CRITICAL component in socialization.
One of my children is graduating high school this year.
Because we allowed this child to engage in activities (sports - ooh, so evil - sarcasm alert) criticized by the Borg, in 3 years, this child changed from an introverted, unconfident teen, to a person with an optimistic future.
Although I agree with Pete's advice to see a counselor, I would expand that option to include a Social Worker, and possibly a knowledgeable physician.
These person care ABOUT YOU, AS A PERSON, not conditional care as a Borg MEMBER.
The care that I have experienced, and felt, from a multitude of "worldly" professionals towards myself and family members, always brings a tear to my eyes.
Although the Borg is right in warning teen girls about males wanting "just one thing." the same can be said about the Borg - that is, the Borg only wants one thing, your complete and exclusive devotion.
This requirement of devotion affects the decisions and actions of your parents.
Do not be afraid to talk the above professionals. THEY REALLY DO CARE.
Let them know that you do not know how to explain your feelings to parents being controlled by this group.
Transitioning from home-school to real school is beneficial and rewarding.
I would not try to explain this to your parents - certainly not before talking to a counselor.
From a Dad.
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steve2
If your parents are half as strict as you say they are, Blackwolf, you better make sure you erase your search history on your social media device. The last thing you need is to be accused of apostasy!
Good for you having part time work - a practical step in the direction of independence.
Your urgency comes through loud and clear; however, it will be helpful for you to learn some strategies for slowing yourself down. You're 15 so it's not unusual that you have a need to get your own way immediately. As for your peers being mean - well you are in that age group where girls are kind of like b*tches, right?
As for your anorexia, has this been formally diagnosed and if so, how's it being treated? Medication? Psychotherapy? Skills-group work? I'd hope you could access some form or relevant, skills-based therapy such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Best - and be careful!!
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KateWild
Hi Blackwolf and welcome to the board. It's so nice to see a 15 year old who can think for herself.
It's really good that you don't want to be a JW and you have your own dreams. Well done and keep planing.
I am so sorry you suffer with anorexia it's a terrible condition I hope you get some real help and support for it.
Please take good care
Kate xx
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smiddy
BlackWolf
Welcome young lady I wish you well.
A 15 year old girl , unbaptized , stuck in a controlling religion she does not want to be in ? I can`t think of anything worse !
Do not despair , light is at the end of the tunnel .Sooner or later you will be able to decide what you want in your life without parental guidance/interferance ,
Think of the strong women / either real or T.V.Video , that you can relate to and say I can handle this till the time , whether it is 1 year 2 years or 3 years I Can Decide For Myself What I Want In My Life .
I am my own person
smiddy