my assault on 2 local kingdumb halls

by zev 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • Grunt
    Grunt

    Teeeennnnnnn 'Hut

    Lance Corporal Zev, Front and Center.

    Sound of boots marching then loud stomp and silence

    On behalf of the Corps of Truth and all the Emperors, Empresses, and other Senior Officers of of the Opposition Forces, I hereby commend you for your RECENT mission into the heart of Cult Territory where you conducted yourself in an EXPLERARY MANNER while SHOWING THE FLAG of Truth in waters to which it is both FOREIGN and OPPOSED demonstrating behavior which UPHOLDS and PROMOTES the HIGH standards of the CORPS! As a result of this solitary, unsupported and in your face KICKASS and TAKENAMES mission, I hereby give you this BATTLEFIELD promotion to Second Lieutenant PLATOON COMMANDER in the 3rd Battalion, 3rd Marine Truth Corps Cult Assault Division
    withallincresesinpaygradeuniformsmedalsandspecialparkingaccomadationsthisrankentitlestheholderto.

    May I be the first to Salute you, SIR! and I will see you later for drinks in the Officer's Club you Mustanger!

    Playing of Truth Corps Hymn, snicksnack sound of rifles being tossed around as the new inductee is paraded and saluted by the assembled Apostate Army

    ALLRIGHTYOUASSHOLESYOU"VEHADYOURPARADE!InCASEYOURFORGOTTHERE'SAWARON!
    GETBACKINTHEGDTRENCHESWE'VEGOTAMAJORLANDINGTONIGHT!

    Dismissed!!!

    sound of Grumbling from back ranks as others run back to the front, PRIVATE FARKEL, is that you??? You eyeballing me again, Private??? Save that ugly attitude for the ENEMY!!! I'dhaveyouonyourFACEgivingmePUSHUPSFOREVERifitweren'tforthebigassaulttonight! damFarkelbeenupanddownthepaygrade,greatcombatMarinebutnotmuchofaparadegoundone,
    tooGAWDdaminsubordinatethat'showhegotbustedfromGrandMarshaloftheGDApostateArmytobuckprivateintheGDCultAssualtDivisionbutdamifIdon'tpitythepoordamDUB
    (thosescumbagmaggots)thatherunsinto as he will SHOVE the long Bayonet of Truth up their narrow minded cult asses, BUTTSTROKE'm with the M-14 of recorded cult history and leave their lying cult corpses with s WatchTower stiking outa one ear, an Awake out the other one and a songbook in their mouth. YOURHARDCOREFARKEL, now get outta here. Where's my Gottdamdriver????

    sound of screeching tires. Farkel Salutes till car disappears...then mutters how'd Simon ever get so far so fast? Must of gone to the Academy, I bust my butt and HE gets the driver! Its all who you know and that Hoddy Toddy British Accent! Everybody has to have somebody to boss. Grunt, get your backwoodsalabama ass over here!

    Grunt: Aye, Aye Sir!

    Grunt (just a grunt in the Corps of Truth!)

  • Beans
    Beans

    Right On Brother! I wish I had thought about that.

    Beans

  • nonentity
    nonentity

    Flip,

    Good idea - I've been busily emailing such people and the press as well. Also, I've been including links to the jw-media VNRs at http://www.jw-media.org/releases/default.htm?content=/vnr/default.htm. The one called "Progressive Understanding" is really dumb. So I've included a few WT quotes and some commentary as well as an excerpt abot how "we didn;t know it was harmful 20 years ago." It's more like Progressive Disinformation.

    nonentity

  • D wiltshire
    D wiltshire

    Zev,

    You lifted our spirits, by you story it is beautiful, you are getting stronger and stronger,.....congradulation!! is in order.

    I feel that way about anybody that overcomes their fears to do things like you have done.

    And I would like to thank all the brave souls that have come out in the open and telling your story to the news these have to be the bravest bunch of people alive.

    And as for you silent lamb who remain silent I understand the fear you must have and want you to know I think many will overcome their fear and stamp out the WT.
    As many aready have!

    You know why I think that is true?
    Because good shall always prevail over evil!

    Join the Watchtower or you will die.
    Only Jehovah's Witnesses have the TRUTH all other religions EVIL and from the Devil.
    You must beleive the Watchtower or you're going to die a painful death forever, isn't that really GOOD NEWS?
  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat

    ZEV, You Rhode Island Red what a fabulous idea, I just bet your on the elders hit list about now. But hey who cares right. We've got a message to spread and no matter what, it is going to be heard. How is Gwen? Look forward to seeing you both again some day soon. All the best.
    Love to you both
    OrangefatCat
    Terry

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Way to go - did my own little witnessing campaign this morning too

    A not-so-silent lamb

    Aspire to inspire before you expire

  • biblexaminer
    biblexaminer

    I sent a flyer to 60 chrches in my fair city. I mailed a very professional looking document to about half the 120 churches in town.

    I mailed them last Tuesday so that it would be recieved by Friday last.

    I encouraged all pastors to make mention to the flock "this Sunday sermon"... today that is.

    So, now we wait.

  • ChuckD
    ChuckD

    One thing for sure, Norm Barone isn't going to chase you down if you can move faster than a slow walk!

    cd

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Hope you sent your time in to Bethel Zev. !!!

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