favoritism

lisa king

I had to write about my experience at the hall. We were taught about how wrong it is to show favoritism etc. Well I found as I had no family as JW and went off my own back, I was excluded from many events. The long standing familys, the well know in the hall had gatherings at each others homes, went places etc. I at one point brought this up, the next thing I was invited to a couples home, I felt on pins in case I said something out of term. That was the end I was never asked again, I felt isolated. If you were a pioneer everyone wanted the person round, elder, of good standing in the congregation that was fine. I fell ill with depression, no-one wanted to know. I was called weak and for the strong ones to support the weaker ones,was I classed as weak because I was not doing enough, I was ill!Many single families used to say the same thing, and nothing was ever done. Well I am certainly not weak now, I am stronger than before.Please if there are any more experieces on this subject please reply.

TR

Hi Lisa,

Even though 'hovahs were told a million times to "widen out" in their love and association with others, it just never worked. I know because I had an "unbelieving wife", and that kept me from being invited to many gatherings.

'hovahs seem to be afraid to be helpful to those who need it. What? you're not going out in service? What, you've missed a few meetings? Why don't you comment at meetings? If you're depressed, why don't you pray more, go out in service more, get to all the meetings?

Such is the world of 'hovahs.

TR

UADNA-WA
Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America- Washington Division

blondie

Somebody here has posted a list of how people are ranked by importance in the JW organization.

But it all boils down to the PECKING ORDER and knowing your place in it.

Chickens have a pecking order from top to bottom. All the chickens know where they stand in the pecking order. None of the lower chickens is allowed to peck at the chicken at the top of the pecking order. The next chicken down can peck at all the chickens below, but not the one above. The next chicken can peck at all the chickens except the two above. And so on down the pecking order. The poor chicken at the bottom gets pecked by everyone and cannot peck anyone else.

Soledad

I absolutely can relate to what you are saying lisa. I too was excluded from many gatherings, and was considered weak during those years that I suffered from depression. There are definitely cliques within the congregations. The higher up a person is, the more people want to be around them and the more their wrongdoings are covered up too.
I brought up this topic many times in the past with my mom, she says that those kinds of things happen everywhere. While I agree that cliques are not particular to JWs, I always found it rather annoying that the so-called "truth" would have issues like these. We all know that people are imperfect. So then why do they bash other religions knowing that they are not any different?

SYN

Hi Lisa, I experienced something very similiar myself, I was pretty much shunned by the Congregation long before I left, primarily because I had nobody to hang out with in my age group, so was forced to "associate" with "wordly" kids, and inevitably I became a very naughty type of person. The Elders said they had "heard" *cough* about the things I was doing. Not that I cared at that point. I know exactly how you feel.

At least here on this site you can make lots of new friends who won't judge you based on your religion! Mail me OK, so we can talk, I bet we have a lot to share!

"Vaccination has never saved a human life. It does not prevent smallpox." The Golden Age, Feb 4 1931 p. 293-4 - The Sacredness of Human Blood (Reasons why vaccination is unscriptural)

ballistic

lisa , there are many, many stories like this. I will try to find a link for you.

Matty

Welcome Lisa. This is so familiar to me and others here; not only your experience with the hierarchy of the congregation but also the depression you felt because of it. We all need people to care about us, but Jehovah’s Witnesses only show care based upon your perceived value to them, or your perceived value to God. If you aren’t doing x amount of hours, if you don’t answer up at the meetings etc… you are labeled with an “inferior” tag. And this is difficult to shake off. Often it’s not what you do even. Many pioneers and appointed brothers are also down on the chain of command of the congregation.

There is usually one family in every congregation that is the family to know. The family everyone looks up to. I could name names, but I’d get into trouble, because I’m still an active witness. Now, if they approve you, then you are in business, but if you aren’t in the clique, then you will find that you won’t get invited out at all, and you will also find that people in the hall just aren’t that friendly to you. You become an outcast.

This can cause severe depression and anxiety, and it’s likely to either make you want to break your neck to get into the congregation elite, or spiral downward into an emotional void. I’ve seen it too often.

Just be glad you are out of it and you now know what unconditional, unqualified friendship and true love is.

curious

Depression must be a common denominator with JW's as I know a few and they are all on tranqs... plus all go to the Doctor almost weekly guess it's hard to be better than everyone else!!!!!!

crawdad2

hi lisa,

jws don't have love.....
they are so greedy to live forever, that they go around judging everyone.

it's a sick organization........and the creepiest people make it to the top...
most of the top elders are "perverts"....and "bullies".

cornish

Hi Lisa,

nice to meet you,noticed you are new,So a hearty Welcome!

Favoritism,yes,that one on established families,in most congregations you see one or two families a hell of a lot of power and influence,and I know exactly what you mean when you said you were invited out and felt on pins,when people invite you in to their homes on a rare occasion out of duty and not out of the heart,its better not to go at all because of the atmosphere,

I used to find it just the same,favoritism was so obvious in my former congregation that there was a nickname for those in the in group from those outside,

We called it 'The Inner Circle.'

favoritism

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