FuGK This Religion- Stop Ruining My Life!!! (page 2)

goingthruthemotions

If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been married? Kid? have you gone to a councellor?

Best of luck to you!!!

GTTM

Crazyguy

I think a lot of us are in this same situation maybe not as far as you but one comment one miss stated opinion and bam its over, these guys would kill for their religion if told to. Its real sad!!

Oubliette

wallievase, I am truly sorry you're having to deal with this.

It's a high-control cult only interested in one thing: themselves.

If you can, focus on your relationship with your wife. Try and talk to her authentic self and not her cult identity.

Some few are able to get out of this religion with their family intact, most are not.

Divergent

Would you say that you were having a happy marriage before you stopped going to the meetings? Could she be using this as an excuse to cover up another reason? Just wondering...

RichardHaley

W 11-1-88
Grounds for Separation
9 Paul’s words at 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 encourage marriage mates to stay together. Yet, some, after trying very hard to preserve their marriage relationship, have finally decided that, in all conscience, they have no choice but to separate. What may be the grounds for such a step?
10 Willful nonsupport is one basis for separation. When entering wedlock, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and any children they may have. The man who does not provide for members of his household “has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible if there is willful nonsupport. Of course, appointed elders should give careful consideration to an accusation that a Christian is refusing to support his wife and family. Stubborn refusal to support one’s family may result in disfellowshipping.
11 Extreme physical abuse is another basis for separation. Suppose an unbelieving mate often gets drunk, becomes enraged, and causes the believer physical harm. (Proverbs 23:29-35) Through prayer and by displaying the fruitage of Jehovah’s spirit, the believer may be able to prevent such outbursts and make the situation endurable. But if the point is reached where the health and life of the abused mate actually are in jeopardy, separation would be allowable Scripturally. Again, congregation elders should look into charges of physical abuse when two Christians are involved in the troubled marriage, and disfellowshipping action may have to be taken.—Compare Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7.
12 Absolute endangerment of spirituality also provides a basis for separation. The believer in a religiously divided home should do everything possible to take advantage of God’s spiritual provisions. But separation is allowable if an unbelieving mate’s opposition (perhaps including physical restraint) makes it genuinely impossible to pursue true worship and actually imperils the believer’s spirituality. Yet, what if a very unhealthy spiritual state exists where both mates are believers? The elders should render assistance, but especially should the baptized husband work diligently to remedy the situation. Of course, if a baptized marriage partner acts like an apostate and tries to prevent his mate from serving Jehovah, the elders should handle matters according to the Scriptures. If disfellowshipping takes place in a case involving absolute endangerment of spirituality, willful nonsupport, or extreme physical abuse, the faithful Christian who seeks a legal separation would not be going against Paul’s counsel about taking a believer to court.—1 Corinthians 6:1-8.
13 If circumstances are extreme, then, separation may be warranted. But flimsy pretexts obviously should not be used to obtain a separation. Any Christians who do separate must bear personal responsibility for that action and should realize that all of us will render an account to Jehovah.—Hebrews 4:13.

It wouldn't take much of a strech to say apostsy falls under #3 but this is about seperation and not divorce. Elders would be required to work at getting the couple back together.

joe134cd

I'm a firm believer in this. The best way of dealing with dubbies is to say ABSOLUTLY NOTHING!!!!

You say sorry for the language in your thread title. Now it's my turn to apologize for the language in my post: when a woman is described as "complex" it's code for "She's a real b*tch". I would never have the audacity to call your wife a b*tch but in a heart beat I'd call her "complicated". She hides behind her religious beliefs when she simply lacks the courage to own her own feelings and needs.Sod it, I take it bzck: She's a b*tch!

Hortensia

I'm sorry. That sucks -- I hope your wife changes her mind.

jwfacts

You make an interesting point. There are a lot of talks where a wife has an unbelieving husband, and how she must stay and win him over without a word. But it is quite different when the husband was a JW and leaves. He is now a dangerous apostate that could affect her spirituality, and very often the spouse will feel leaving is the correct option, as encouraged by elders. I hope you are able to work it out with your wife.

BluePill2

wallievase: This cult will never stop ruining peoples Lifes. Stick around and read some of our stories...there are some pretty fucked up stories!

I was in your situation, although everybody experiences this in a somewhat different way, but at least you have a community here to hang on to until your Life turns to the better.

Nobody can take a decision for you and nobody can take the pain off you because of whatever decision you take, but I can assure you that time helps to heal wounds - if you let the process do its work. Human beings are incredibly adaptive and you will find a way to deal with this. I can guarantee you that. Thousands others have dealt with this. You can too.

We are here to hear you. Drop your baggage off, cry, scream and then "after the storm" let the healing & calmness begin.

I lost my whole family, my wife and child to the cult.

FuGK This Religion- Stop Ruining My Life!!!