An Elder said: 'They're in prison for a reason'

by NAVYTOWN 16 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Bobcat

  Before I went into prison, I called a Brother on the phone who had recently been paroled after 2 years as a conscientious objector.

  I asked for any advice he might help me with.

  He was quiet for second or two, and then he said, "No, just do your time and do as you're told."

  Terry:

  Now that you've had the experience that this other brother had, what advice would you give to someone heading to prison (someone who is one of the 'unlucky ones,' not a criminal)?

  And thanks very much for your post.

  Bobcat
• 

  AndDontCallMeShirley

  an Elder in a former congregation didn't believe in doing anything to help inmates because 'They are in there for a reason'.

  Yet if WT can gain converts by exploiting their situation, it has no problem sending JWs to preach to prisoners.
• 

  apostrate

  Terry,

  If you take your outline, numbered 1 thru 7, and substitute the word criminal with Watchtower Society, it is just as applicable.
• 

  Darth Fader The Sequel

  Wow, Terry. I had no idea you had been through that.
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  When I was "Service Overseer" TM . I coordinated visits to the local prison. The best advice from the WT was that sisters should not write to male inmates, end of story. The inmates likely have family or friends of thier own. The scamming that went on is unbelievable. I have seen brothers and sisters taken for money. Let them do their time and when they are out and you can see what their actions are, then befriend them if you feel you need to. Sounds harsh but prison is for criminals. Life goes on for prisoners so dont panic.
• 

  Terry

  Terry:

  Now that you've had the experience that this other brother had, what advice would you give to someone heading to prison (someone who is one of the 'unlucky ones,' not a criminal)?

  ________________________

  You raise an important question which has caused me a great deal of retro-anguish because I just realized--nobody in any congregation cared enough

  TO REFER a brother facing prison to another brother FOR ADVICE!

  That is unconscionable and can only mean nobody gave a rat's ass.

  ____________________-

  I did receive one phone call from a brother in Oklahoma. I don't remember how he got my phone number. Seems odd since plenty of brothers in

  Oklahoma had gone through the same thing. Be that as it may . . .

  I tried to tell him what to expect, first of all.

  1. The chief problem you face is three fold. Psychological, Safety, Emotional.

  You have no control over anything; often, not even yourself. You are forced into close contact with vile human beings who smell weakness and it enrages them to want to bully you. Prison rape is not a crime of passion or sex. It is a demonstration of dominance, rage and control. Your family and friends

  will not understand. After a couple of months, you won't have anything in common with your closest loved ones because your world is no longer theirs.

  2. You cannot obsess over WHEN you will be getting out! You are in a stream of time which is moving and you must learn which direction the flow is going. If you think about family and friends, loved ones and happy times of old you are swimming against the current. You will tire and drown emotionally.

  You stop dreaming about anything but INSIDE prison in a remarkably short time. In fact, the "real" world and your old life become more like a dream or story somebody told you long ago. It becomes so unreal it ceases to be anything but pain.

  Visits are extremely uncomfortable because neither the inmate nor the visitor can talke about "what's going on" without hurting each other. So, you often end up sitting like an old married couple with nothing much worth saying. That HURTS.

  Finally, you must realize you cannot give off a "vibe" of any kind. You must be unreadable and blank or else. Or else what? Or else, an expert (criminal) will "read your vibes" and instantly form a plan to exploit you!

  Keep to yourself, keep your mouth shut. Avoid eye contact. Your world is inside your mind. Control your thinking by being positive, upbeat and learn to live in the NOW. Read, read, read. Study. Learn things. I taught myself to play the piano (by sneaking into the Catholic rectory instead of going to the

  Mess Hall for Dinner. Time moves in one direction only and no power on earth can stop you from reaching your destination one day. Don't pull time; let time pull you.
• 

  Bobcat

  Terry:

  Thanks for that reply. That was a fascinating answer, seeing how it was forged from experience. (I had to read it a couple times - I'll probably read it again.)

  It is amazing, given the collective experience available at the time among JWs, that no one bothered to try to prep you for your experience. I'm a little surprised that the WT hadn't come up with a booklet or material to help prepare the brothers for that possibility (aka like the child custody material they have prepared).

  Bobcat