COGNAC- It's nice to see you posting back on the board ! Good to have you here ! You'll receive lots of support here with good advice like you've already received by these good people who have shared similar experiences in exiting the Witnesses. You know my story. My wife and me used to chat with you about 6 years ago when you were first having some doubts. Remember- I even talked with your JW husband one time ? Since my own two JW daughters aged 27 and 26 have shunned me for 11 years now - my wife and I kind of looked at you as an adopted daughter of sorts . If you ever want to talk we are still here, I'll PM you our phone numbers, O.K. ?
In regards to whether elders may come after you or not- if you are on their radar with enough family or friends ratting you out- believe me, they'll come after you if you are perceived as a threat to the congregation- or even if your HUSBAND perceives that you are a threat to HIS " spirituality " - he may be the one to get the ball rolling against you without even telling you beforehand ! That is what my JW ex-wife did to me 8 years AFTER our divorce ! I had been out of the Witnesses as an inactive person for over 3 years- and she sent elders 80 miles out of her area to rat out me and Mrs. Flipper who were about to be married ! I was scripturally free - but she had a vendetta to settle with me and sicked the elders on me. I eventually had my DFing overturned and won my appeal - but it caused much anguish in Mrs. Flipper and my life for about 10 months being harassed by the elders, i.e. phone calls, uninvited visits, and threatening certified letters to come to a JC meeting.
Here's the deal- it may be that your dad having been a long time elder in your area there has worked out some kind of a " deal " with the fellow elders there where he has asked them not to " harass " you and who knows ? - you may be like teflon - they may not bug you. This happened to my 38 yr.old niece when her first marriage to a JW broke up and her dad, an elder, my brother in law - stepped into her situation and kept the elders from DFing her, even convinced the elders to " let it go " so my niece didn't have to attend ANY JC meeting. So it gives you something to think about. If you are NOT SURE that you are teflon or untouchable though - I would not assume anything. I'd still be extremely careful- especially since you are still with your devout JW husband. I don't know if he's more devoted to the JW cult or you- it's something you know better than most of us for sure. But your relationships could go to hell in a handbasket with your other JW relatives real fast if your hubby decided to get overrighteous on you feeling he needs to teach you a lesson with elders harassing you. These are all things YOU have to figure out in which way you want your life, and more importantly where you want your children's life to go. Is it more important to keep the family together for them to have a father who will be harshly overbearing forcing JW beliefs on them - and you being the go between and mediator between your kids and their dad- or do you cut your losses in time and make a new life for you and the kids ? I'm sure you've thought long and hard about your options- all I'm doing here is giving you the various entities that are involved and the decisions are solely yours to make. No atter WHAT you decide we and others here will be here for you as a support and pffer our friendship, O.K. ? I'll PM you our phone number. Mrs. Flipper sends her love. Feel free to call anytime