by DarioKehl 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
OEJ: It makes your entire life feel like it's all been fake and a lie and manipulation
That's because it was.
OEJ: I think what the OP misses is that there's more than 2 choices. When someone stops going to the cult meetings, the options aren't limited to either hounding/manipulation tactics or complete shunning. There's the "normal" option of just interacting with a person like they're a damn human being and not trying to manipulate them in any way.
Well said!
DARIO- Interesting thread, good subject, good thread. I don't know if very many of us make what I would call a " clean " exit, or an exit without repercussions. I mean- I guess if you exit the JW's and don't have ANY family or close friends inside- yeah, that's a pretty " clean " exit. But for most of us I imagine there is a price to be paid for gaining our freedom of mind back.
As regards what JW's think of us, even the expression " no good deed goes unpunished " can apply to us as ex-JW's even if we are on our best behavior ! LOL. I just had my JW daughter write to me telling me that " Satan keeps you so busy dad growing an organic vegetable garden doing hobbies you like such as playing music and guitar that you have no time going to meetings. " So even good things that we do and accomplish on our best behavior- JW's will find something wrong with ANYTHING that we do if we aren't attending meetings. LOL.
So I'm at the point that after 12 years out almost- I don't give a rats behind what any of them think of me. I know I'm a good person, and that's what counts. I'm good enough for me and those who really love me - not going to sweat about how JW's perceive me- it wastes too much of my time and energy and emotions. Kind of my 2 cents
It might seem to be a contradiction, but it's really just two sides to the same coin.
The culture of the JWs is one without social boundaries, so sometimes attempts to fade are met with an immediate inquisition. If someone just wanted to leave quietly that can feel very threatening and intrusive.
It's also a culture of situational friendships, so it can be shocking when people who you thought were friends are willing to cut you off without even a conversation about it. It can and does feel very hurtful, as if they never valued you for yourself.
It's also possible for both things to happen to the same person, the elders mounting an abusive and overbearing campaign to get you back, while friends drop you like a hot potato. I guess the ideal would be if people expressed concern, but backed off when the individual says they are fine, but it's a cult so that's not going to happen.
Flipper: Satan keeps you so busy dad growing an organic vegetable garden
Wow, I didn't know Satan was into organic veggies!
OneEyedJoe, great post. You're right, it truly is about being frustrated with manipulative behavior of all types.
You verbalized what has been swimming around in my brain without my being able to put it together so clearly.
The O/P is perfectly correct and articulates something about myself.
Life is peaceful these days, The cong. are friendly when I see them, I have good relationships with several of them . My wife has accepted my non acceptance of it and we rarely argue about it....
I cannot help but feel slighted though - that they do not count me important enough to spare a word to encourage me back when they spend all their time trying to talk to strangers....If they did so, it may open a can of worms, so I should be glad that they don't... Is that a quirk of human nature or am I peculiar?
This is more a reflection of how far along you are in your journey out.
When you first break up with someone it seems callous and insulting if when you leave they don't even notice you are gone. Then after you realize how destructive and dependant the relationship was you hope you never have to see them again.
