newbie to site looking for fellow DF's and DA's (or anyone else who has good conversation to offer)

by eyefell4it2 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • eyefell4it2
    eyefell4it2

    Greetings!

    I am new to the site. I started perusing it this weekend and wish I had found it 10 years ago when I was on my way out. Anyways, long story short, was df'd for you guessed it...fornication or "loose conduct" even though I had been a pioneer with an elder father, grandfather and uncle and no previous issues. I got df'd cuz I was preggo--go figure. It has taken me 9 years to get acclimated to this "evil world" and yet I still have very few friends because I feel like no one understands. Recently married a worldy guy who is great and even accompanies me to the meetings when my parents request we go (out of respect and wanting our children to have their grandparents in their lives, I go OCCASIONALLY). I was just looking for friendly conversations on whatever and found that many of the topics I questioned (and MANY MANY MORE THAT NEVER OCCURED TO ME) have already been covered. I still long for conversations and friends who can understand what I went through and maybe share their own experiences with me. I live in Alabama and find that I haven't seen many from my area on this site. Hope someone comments so I don't feel so stupid posting. Best wishes and hope to hear from someone soon! Also, I have hoped that the whole BORG would implode with all the scandals (especially from the molestation scandals and failed predictions) but suprisingly it still is kicking strong so until then I have to grit and bear it and deal with my JW fam who still haven't figured out TTAT. I need friends of like minds to help me cope!!!! Feel free to ask me any questions!

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    Hope this is soon enough! Give us a chance to get to know you.

    Do you still have doubts that the JW's are right?

    What can we help you with?

    Love to have you join in. Don't be shy!

  • pronomono
    pronomono

    Welcome. We're glad to have you with us. Like you, I wish I had found this sight years ago. Things would be a lot different if I had. Still I have a lot to be thankful for. My time as a JW wasn't all bad. Even though I technically am still one, I'm struggling to find a way out and am coming to terms with the conditional love of the friends.

  • cofty
    cofty

    Hi, welcome eyefell4it2

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    Welcome eyefell4it2

    I love your handle.

    I have a couple of questions you can answer privately to yourself.

    1. Do you still believe the Jehovah's Witnesses have da troof?

    2. Do you believe that other denominations may not be as evil as the JW's believe?

    I hope you enjoy the board.

    I have been out for 10 years this month (November 18) and have more real friends in than I ever did in the JW's, unconditional friends at that.

    Some of them are christians, some are not.

    Some are even members of the opposite sex and contrary to what JW's teach, none of try anything when we are alone together.

    I saw more fornication, adultery and broken up marriages in the JW's than anythingt I have seen in the world.

    Most of the marriages I observed in the JW's were miserable and one or both spouses were very depressed and unhappy.

    Personally, I believe the denomination causes a lot more problems in marriages than happines.

    It certainly doesn't provide and viable solutions to screwed up marriages.

    Most marriages that survive are the ones where both spouses ditch the wacky religion.

  • flipper
    flipper

    EYEFELL4IT2 - Nice to have you here ! Welcome indeed. I have a lot of JW family still in the organization but I have been out 11 years now. We are here for you as a friend and support system. You'll find that many of us have shared lots of negative experiences from the JW organization. What doesn't destroy us makes us stronger. Take care, look forward to hearing more from you

  • Brainfloss
    Brainfloss

    WELCOME!!!

  • eyefell4it2
    eyefell4it2

    Greetings to all once again!

    @Gregor- no I am absolutely sure that they are NOT RIGHT. At a time in my life when I needed support they removed the beams from my life and I know that any real God wouldn't want his followers to do that. (I have memories of living in a studio apt with another person eating RAMEN NOODLES during my pregnancy! And WORLDLY PEOPLE who barely knew me offered me more support, help and guidance than the JWs did) Being as my daughter is 10 now, I feel bad that they did that because for years I resented having her (I know it sounds crazy) for coming into my life and uprooting things but I began to appreciate that BECAUSE of her, I was able to seek the REAL TRUTH about the world and learn about life, unconditional love and most important of all, what AGAPE truly was and how the JWs didn't display it. I love her so much and recently had a convo re holidays and birthdays and she has agreed that she wishes to celebrate them but doesn't want to mess up her relationship with the grandparents (we have only celebrated holidays once in her life and she has never had a bday party though my husband is determined that next year she will with or without my parents support). I feel bad for the ones still stuck but I know that if they mean well, perhaps God will guide them into the light about the REAL WORLD or shake them out of the darkness that is the BORG (I LOVE THAT WORD--I am a trekkie and can appreciate the irony of the comparison). In the meantime, I am polite when I come across any and some even say hi to me out in public but I don't expect anything from them but what they have shown me thus far.... What has been your experience? I mean were you DF'd, DA'd or just inactive?

    @Pronomono I completely understand and should you have any concerns or just want to vent let me know. I have a sibling who is inactive (and behaves as a "worldly person" but they seem to overlook that part). But I concur, there were some good things about being a JW and the fact that you are still struggling makes perfect sense, but I found that going to a megachurch in the area help shake me out of the fuzzy void between not being a JW and still having doubts. I would love to share my experience with you and how it helped me. What are some things you are afraid of that keep you still kind of clinging in there?

    @Cofty Hello to you too and thank you for responding!

  • bigmac
    bigmac

    hi I-Fell---great to have yet another newbie on here. what you write is never stupid---and lots of us enjoy reading new posters and are happy to chat. i'm in the UK

  • AlwaysBusy
    AlwaysBusy

    Hi!

    I've been a member here for 2 months, but had known about it for about 6 months. I like that I can find information here before most others have it...especially since I am df'd also.

    THis site has helped, just reading some of the comments, and the SilentLambs site helped me. I thought my kids were the only ones molested by an elder, but because of this site and SilentLambs...I now know that isn't true. Sometimes I feel like I am just hanging on by a thread, but then I read a comment that reminds me that I am not the only one who feels this way, and it helps.

    Anyway, Take Care,

    AB

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