I remember teaching around mid 1980's where it was said that virginity was sacred. I do not remember in which book study or WT, but the topic was encouraged virginity. One young sister wanted to be virgin until her marriage with the rigth borther. But nobody has appeared, and 25 years later in her 40's, she is totally alone, no kids, no husband, nothing. And she was really pretty.
I Waited Until My Wedding Night To Lose My Virginity And I Wish I Hadn't...
by Divergent 42 Replies latest social relationships
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fulltimestudent
Virginity is bad for your prostate.
Look after your prostate because God won't give you a new one.
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kaik
Also virginity is bad for women due higher risk of breast cancer. Having lost two friends recently to it, and one of them was single and never married, I do not think there is much value in keeping virginity intact. Nuns have one of the highest incidence of breast cancer.
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PhilJonesIII
I was in my youth what could only be called a JW nerd. A selfrighous little **** with an attitude that would have been perfectly at home in the Hitler Youth. The Apostle Paul would have been embarrased in my company. So being a virgin when I married at 24 was a non-issue. No achievement for me because my mind was pure and I had kept myself seperate for contaminating influences (sigh).....at least that is how I believed it should have been. My new wife equally virginal and santimonous was of the school of thought that believed that women should not enjoy sex. And enjoy it she she was determined not to do.
This was in the 70s when people were selling their homes, retiring early and buying mobile homes in preperation for the big 'A'. Though 1975 was not printed, it was certainly hinted and such fiscal irresponsibilty was in no way discouraged. At that time in the UK at least, 'good women' did not enjoy sex. Sex was a concession to weakness in men.
The result was that sex ( and I mean 'sex', I wont grace it with the term 'making love' ) was always followed by a guilt-trip, a feeling that we had done something wrong and that the permission to 'do it' was a tired authority from a long-suffering god.
Eleven years of that before seeing the cracks in the ediface that was my faith. Not a good time but I disassociated myself. No need for detail for those that have been there. Three years later a divorce.
Four years later and a new partner who was an unabashed and enthusiastic practicioner of 'the art'. That enthusiasm spilt over in to every aspect of our lives. She, a qualified accountant, fluent in five languages, acomplished pianist and a joy to share the same space with. Not sure what she saw in me but we all have our blind-spots I suppose. There was never a sense of: 'Im doing this because its my duty as a wife'. There was never a sense that she was acting happy: she was happy and let me know when she wasnt. I could handle that.
The difference was I believe that she told me what she liked in all things and the intimate things were no exception. She was honest about her needs and desires and it was such a refreshing change.
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finally awake
I was absolutely not a virgin when I met my husband, and we certainly had plenty of sex before we got married, and neither of us were dubs yet, but I can still relate to the bit about being embarrassed after the wedding because now everyone knows we're doing it. Weird sexual hang ups are common in all families that can't deal with sex in an open, honest, and non-shaming fashion.
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3rdgen
I'm convinced that many JW couples would not end up getting married if they did a "test drive" first. It is a shame that sometimes the consequences of remaining virgins or celebate before marriage are so great. Miserable mismatched couples hurt the children they bring forth even more than themselves.PhilJoneslll Welcome! Tell us about yourself on a new thread ok?
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Apognophos
"I bet you're going to have one busy wedding night!"
When we got home, I couldn't look anyone in the eye. Everyone knew my virginity was gone. My parents, my church, my friends, my co-workers.
One reason why I never considered getting married, being raised as a JW, was dreading precisely those sorts of comments and that kind of outcome. Everyone would assume I'd lost my virginity when they saw me the day after the wedding. Even if I tried to avoid being the victim of this kind of intimate knowledge that no one had the right to, by specifically telling my wife, "Let's wait a while after getting married", no one would know or believe that, and would insist on giving me a knowing leer after the honeymoon. It was demeaning and I refused to contemplate being subjected to it, so marriage was out of the question.
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d
I hate those sexual hang ups myself it is all about control.
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LV101
Society was really tough on girls - you were either a nice girl or a whore and a wedding night was hush/hush - who cared about a girl's situation back then. I'm referring to the 60s and girls today have turned society's so called morals upside down. Locker room talk would destroy a girl's reputation in a nanosecond. Whatever happened between the girlfriend/boyfriend was always the girl's fault. I recall one of my friends becoming pregnant and her boyfriend was finished with her. She was a nice girl from a broken home which was almost unheard of - father a doctor/mother an alcoholic and a wanna-b-jock that was crazy about her until she did the wild thing. Pregnant girls were sent away to homes in other cities while pregnant to save the family from embarrassment and ridicule - I guess out-of-sight out of mind kind of thing. No regard for the poor girl. I only knew of one pregnant girl who married the father/boyfriend and they're together to this day.
The ole-lady/church/social morals of the time did protect us from STDs and young pregnancies.
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Vidiot
"I'm now thoroughly convinced that the entire concept of virginity is used to control female sexuality."
I figured that out a long time ago, too.