Im new here, and dont know much about JW, other than what Im reading. I have my best friend who is having BIBLE STUDY in her home with 2 witnesses, and she is soaking it in. she is VERY defensive and is getting more and more closed off. How do I reach her, and are any of you in the INDY area?? I am praying for a GODLY CHRISTIAN woman to reach her. Any help in this matter would mean much to me. I am anxious to hear from any and all of you. I am also VERY interested in hearing ALL of your stories regarding your experiences with the organization. How did you get in, how did you get OUT and WHY!! Please talk to me
I need help
by tiredroadie 20 Replies latest jw experiences
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KateWild
Hi and Welcome tiredroadie,
Your friend is being love bombed at the moment and being shown a lot of attetion. It's commendable that you care about her so much. JWs are in a cult. It's a high control religion and you can read more about the history of the religion and the doctrines on jwfacts.com
Does she have parents close by? If you know them well try and explain their daughter needs their attention.
I was brought up Jewish and converted around 20yrs old when I was at uni, about 20yrs later I left. My full story is on youtube, if you want to listen to it (it's 35 mins) let me know and I will stick a link up.
Kate xx
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kneehighmiah
Don't oppose her. This will just prove to her that satan is trying to stop her. Continue to be kind and loving while asking her questions. tell her to see if those studying with her can answer those questions. Jwfacts.com has many topics to discuss.
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jhine
Your friend is blessed to have you . The advice already given is sound . Opposition just increases the loyalty . Like when your Mom cannot stand your new boyfriend , how much more attractive he seems !!
You could pretend ignorance and say "Oh I heard this about the Watchtower , is it true ? can you ask your friends ?"
Jan
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OneEyedJoe
I reccomend reading "Freedom of Mind" by Steven Hassan, or at least look up some of the material on his website www.freedomofmind.com
As has been said, don't outwardly oppose them. Be interested and ask detailed questions to get them to think about things. For some questions to ask, check out: http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/questions-to-ask-a-jehovahs-witness.php
Another tack to take would be if you talk to them about another group that they would agree is a cult. The mormons are a good example. Explain how these other groups use mind control techniques to indoctrinate people, and your friend will likely begin to see that the JWs use the very same techniques. One technique is to get them to tell you themselves what would cause them to end involvement with the cult. This will require some research on your part (jwfacts.com is great for this) to see what damning evidence there is towards the cult. Steven Hassan, in one of his videos, talked about how he questioned a JW in this fashion and got them to admit that if a Governing Body member (the GB is a committee at the top of the pyrimid in the cult) left the organization because they realized that what they taught wasn't from the bible. This indeed has happened, and the man wrote a book about it.
Look up youtube videos created by ex-members and have them watch them. If they're already to the point where they're weary of looking at anything from ex-members, ask them if they'd stay at a hotel or eat at a restaurant that had thousands of negative reviews just because the proprieters of the restaurant/hotel say that the place is wonderful? How much more important is the decision on what religion to join? Shouldn't they have ALL possible information in order to make an informed decision?
Also, don't use the word cult with them, use "group" or "organization" as the word cult will set off alarm bells in their head that tells them that you're attacking them.
Lastly, the key to all of it is that you cannot stop showing love to your friend. The love that they'll recieve in the cult is conditional upon their acceptance of cult doctrine and behavior - your love is unconditional and they will see the difference. Get other friends/family involved and present a uninted front of concern (not opposition) to them. As others have said, direct opposition will get you nowhere. The people studying with them have probably already told them that satan may cause close friends or family to oppose their study - if you oppose you'll just be playing into their predictions. You might want to put out the word to their family on this as well. Any opposition will seem to confirm that the people studying with them are from god, and you are being controlled by satan, because they predicted it. Love and genuine concern and interest is the only way to go.
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LisaRose
Learn as much as you can about the history of this religion. They have predicted the end many times, yet still pretend that Armageddon is imminent. I was told I didn't need to go to college as I would not have time for a career in this system of things, I am sixty now, yet they are still saying the same thing.
I have repeated my story many times, so I won't go into that, but there is a section here on experiences, read a few of those (click on Home, then look for that sub heading).
This religion uses mind control, it's helpful to know what that is, check out howcultswork.com. As others have stated, do not pressure your friend, she has already been told that Satan will try to stop her from studying, so that will just make her more determined to keep on.
There is no one way to wake people up, it very much depends on the circumstances and the personality of the people involved. Asking questions is better than informing, and be very careful. Potential topics to discuss:
Most JWs do not know the Watchtower has paid out millions to settle child abuse claims and currently have a few multi million dollar judgements against them.
They also don't know that Charles Russel, the founder of the WTBTS took most of his chronology from another religion, and its based on a date for the fall of Jerusalem that is not supported by any reputable bible scholar. Russel taught that based on this chronology they were in the last days and Armageddon would come in 1914. When nothing happened, they changed to teaching that Christ returned invisibly and the last days started (not ended) in 1914. They said that Armageddon would come before the generation alive and old enough to understand these things passed away. When it became obvious that that generation was passing away, they changed it to say that "a generation" could be overlapping generations. To any rational, thinking person it's obvious that they are just making things up, but such is the power of cult mind control that they accept these ridiculous explanations, because they have been trained to accept anything the governing body tells them.
This religion practices shunning and any member who leaves for any reason will be shunned by family and friends. They say they only disfellowship in cases of serious wrongdoing, but that is not the truth. A person who leaves and says they no longer want to be known as a Jehovah's Witness will he shunned. A person who just stops attending and then later celebrates Christmas (or votes, gets divorced and remarried without cause, or serves in the military, or takes a blood transfusion) will he shunned, no matter how long ago they left. A person can be disfellowshipped for just about anything three elders agree on, there is no recourse, decisions are rarely overturned.
This religion breaks up families and ruins lives. Shunning is so painful that many JWs commit suicide, I knew of six who did so. You need to do whatever you ccan to keep your friend from joining this cult, but be very careful.
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ruderedhead
You're receiving some great advice on here from people who have gone through a lot. Are you yourself familiar with the Bible? The witnesses are very good at cherry picking scriptures to suit their doctrine of the moment. I will repeat what others have said and ask you to go to jwfacts.com. there is a wealth of information there. Use it SLOWLY in the form of asking questions as one eyejoe & jhine have suggested.
Your friend is definately being love bombed, told that satan is using you to try and stop her study( "your friend means well, but doesn't have "the truth" as we do, satan is using him/her"). They will use cherry picked scriptures to try and show her they are right, the "true" religion, etc. Do you know exactly what they have taught your friend yet? If you do, maybe you could work on disproving some of that through the Bible first? Do your homework, know what you're talking about. Use jwfacts as well as other reputable sources.
Do you know a pastor who is well versed in scripture who would be willing to sit down with both of you and go over some of the things they have told her, and discuss the scriptures involved? That may hold some weight.
The fact that she is puling away is concerning. I hate to admit it, but I did that with the urging of the witnesses who would come to my home to study. I wish the resources that are available today were then, and that someone had used them to stop me. But the witnesses are taught how to be manipulative and kind of bullies, for lack of a better word. If she enjoys their company and the compliments they are no doubt giving her , they may threaten to stop coming if she questions them, telling her they aren't going to waste their time if she just wants to argue. Presenting them with facts that contradict what they are telling her is not considered discussion, it is considered arguing. Can you organize some social things to fill some time? Just a suggestion.
You're going to get much good, sound advice on here from some who have been through the mill! You might want to read some of their stories. All the best to you as you try to help your friend! Remember to never be confrontational.
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clarity
Welcome to jwn tiredroadie, nice to have you
here!
Do not attack head on, even if you are positive
that you are right!
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The very first thing jw's do, is warn the 'potential victim'.
They slyly warn that friends & family will argue & say
NOT to study with jehovah's witnesses!
Then, the jw's tell you not to listen to your family,because
Satan is just using your loved ones to try to make you stop
studying, and then of course when this does happen...
BINGO ....... see the jw's are right!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Omg ...this works very often. It worked with me,
all those years ago ........I actually was convinced by
those 'so nice' ladies that satan wanted me to miss out
on gods paradise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All the best
clarity
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Honesty
It will not be long before your friend quits having any contact with you.
Her 'Bible' Study teacher will show her 1 Corinthians 15:33 in the Jeghovah's Witness book they mistakenly call a bible.
Which says that "Bad company corrupts good morals" in most English language bibles.
You are considered BAD COMPANY by Jehovah's Witnesses because they believe that everyone who is not a JW is bad company and has no moral compass even though the direct opposite is true, Jehovah's Witnesses have no moral compasses because they allow 7 wicked men in New York to dictate their so-called morality.
If you attempt to show her any information that is critical of Jehovah's Witnesses she will reject it and believe it comes from an apostate (You).
The best thing you can do is show her scriptures such as Luke 7:48-50, 1 John 5:12-13 and John 10:27-28 and ask her if she believes what Jesus said is true.
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BluesBrother
The first thing that Bible Students are taught is that "well meaning but misguided friends and relatives will no doubt try to get you to stop studying ". The more you oppose , the more true the Witness teaching seems to be. I would commend her, be pleased for her , that she has found a faith that fulfills her needs.
But , just as you would not by a car without an independant inspection, urge her, challenge her if need be to at least look at a couple of independant websites . I would recommend Freeminds.org and JWFacts.com.
She has to come to a conclusion by herself......good luck