by J-DUBBED 36 Replies latest jw experiences
Tell them that you really liked their animated video on the website about "what's a real friend" (go to the site and watch it if you haven't yet)
Say that you especially liked the part that said "a real friend will not judge you for your beliefs"
Then when they "love bomb" you, it will be a reminder to them to ensure that they are being sincere!
What are you going to tell them is the reason for you r visit?
Expect to be offered a free home Bible study by a seemingly kind, sweet elder.
Be careful. They are VERY good at what they do.
DD
Yeah, expect lots of fake smiles, fake sincerity, and lots of offers to "study the Bible with you."
To a JW, a "Bible study" is really a "study of a book written by the Watchtower which provides the Watchtower interpretation of a few dozen isolated verses from the Bible". For JWs, the Bible contains maybe a hundred or so "useful verses", and the other 99.9% is meaningless filler.
For an individual JW, "getting a new Bible Study" is a pretty prestigious thing. It demonstrates to their peers that they are "spiritual" and increases their prestige within the JW community. It has very little to do with actually trying to impart Bible knowledge to you.
So long as you are aware of this prior to entring the Kingdom Hall, you'll be fine.
It's been a long time sincere I left, but I doubt it has changed much. The meetings are excruciatingly boring. They follow a strict pattern. On Sunday, they first sing one of the boring, unsingable "Kingdom melodies", in the usual perfunctory manner, using prerecorded music. This is followed by the public talk. All speakers use society provided outlines, there are only so many, so everyone has probably heard the same talk several times before. Then they have a go at another boring, unsingable song, then the Watchtower study. It's a question and answer type thing, someone reads a paragraph, then the conductor asks the question supplied in the magazine, then someone raises their hand and reads back the very obvious answer they have previously dutifully highlighted in yellow. Then another horrible, unsingable song and finally annother long winded ending prayer, by which point you will be very, very happy it's over. There is no room for personal expressions of faith or any joy or any deviation from the schedule of any kind.
What are you going to tell them is the reason for you r visit?
What would you suggest? I have no idea other than to walk in and act like a deaf mute....
As others have said, the love bombing is the biggest thing to be aware of your first time out. If you're aware of what's going to happen, though, it will give you the objectivity to not be sucseptible to it. You'll likely quickly understand how someone in an emotionally vulnerable state could get pulled in.
I would also reccomend that you read this information on the BITE model just so that you can be on the lookout for ways in which they are able to control people. You'll almost certainly see examples of emotional manipulation at every meeting, and the behavioral control will be obvious when you walk in and see a bunch of clean-shaven men in suits and women in dresses (no pants) etc. The information/thought control is a little less frequent but it wouldn't surprise me if you caught some good examples of that too.
Also, while far from the magic mind control ray that you fear, I would also suggest that you not participate in singing the songs (someone will almost certainly offer you a song book), or bowing your head during the prayers. There's a known psychological effect that occurs when you perform small acts of conformity like that and it will cause you to relate to the cultists a little more and you'll lose some of your objectivity. I don't think it's likely that you'll get sucked into the cult, but it's important to stay as detached as possible so that you can recognize and call them on their bulls**t if needed.
All that is probably overkill, but I'm the type that prefers to be over-prepared for things and figured if you asked the question you might be too.
What would you suggest? I have no idea other than to walk in and act like a deaf mute....
It depends on what you're hoping to gain by the visit, but I don't see any reason why the truth (that your son joined up and you thought it was time that you saw what it was all about) would hurt anything.
I don't know but I keep thinking there is a way I can "Fix" this. Wake him out of this bullshit.........
Maybe it's really out of our control. It really f'd up our family..........All from one f'd up Jehovah Wingnut Devil Woman.
I don't know but I keep thinking there is a way I can "Fix" this. Wake him out of this bullshit.........
Maybe it's really out of our control. It really f'd up our family..........All from one f'd up Jehovah Wingnut Devil Woman.
There may be yet. At least you're likely to be able to mend things sufficiently that you could get back into communication again and that's the first step. To that end, going to a meeting may help, but you might be better off reaching out first and making ammends for any pain you may have caused, as steve2 said in your other thread. I really reccommend reading Steven Hassan's books - they're written precisely for people in your exact situation. It's a little more difficult for many of us who are in the cult and trying to get ourselves (and spouses/friends/family) out to implement some of Hassan's advice because the strongest strategy is to ask questions and once you're in there are questions that can't be asked. In your case, however, you can provide your son a view from the outside using Hassan's strategies. There's going to be a lot of work involved, as there is no silver bullet, and the first step is to repair the trust in your relationship with your son.
