Marriage outside the religion punishable?

by Pattytheperfectone 19 Replies latest social relationships

  • Pattytheperfectone
    Pattytheperfectone

    Now I know they have always discouraged marrying outside of their so called 'truth' but since when has it been a punishable offense? My sister recently married and they are discussing wether her being married to an outsider will stumble others and if they need to reprove or disfellowship her for it.

  • hoser
    hoser

    Is the reason we are gathered together today

  • sir82
    sir82

    Reproof or disfellowship? no.

    They're likely to give a "marking talk" though - without specifically giving her name, they'll give a talk to the congregation with very explicit details so that everyone will absolutely know who the speaker is talking about. It will be implied that your sister is a "bad associate" and her social life with JWs will shrivel to virtually nil.

    She won't be "officially" shunned, but no "good" JW will get within 20 feet of her.

    If she is willing to endure that humiliation for a number of years, gradually the "marking" will probably wear off and she can socialize with JWs again.

  • talesin
    talesin

    It depends on a lot of things. If they want to 'get' her, they will.

    If your family is 'strong' or prominent JWs, they may make it as tough as they can. The criteria for disfellowshipping is very broad, including intangibles such as "rebelliousness" .... so, anything goes. Just my 2.

    tal

  • Pattytheperfectone
    Pattytheperfectone

    My sister still believes most the religion but has been in and out since she was 18. among other things she has done she had a child without being married during the 6 years she was inactive. they let her come back with no restrictions of 'privileges' so I was just shocked that after they accepted her crazy past with no punishment her being married was something they felt they needed to discuss further and decide repricussions. It makes me much more angry and offended than it does her being that she still believes the religion is the truth. If they are giving her crap about being married to a non believer I'm surprised they haven't said anything to her about associating with me. Maybe being that I moved a couple hours away and no one but my sister knows how I truly feel means that subject won't come up with the elders. i know how my family feels being that no one but my sister will talk to me...they probably partially blame me for her 'evil ways'.

  • dozy
    dozy

    As sir82 says people aren't explicitly DFd for marrying a "worldly person" ( ie a non-JW. )

    In my own experience , a marking talk is normally only given when the person is dating the unbeliever ( though this practise may vary in different areas. ) After the wedding , there isn't much that can usually be done. Presumably she would be regarded as non "exemplary" , so wouldn't be used for service meeting demos , for example. The elders might sniff around a bit to see if there was any pre-marital sex - it all depends on the circumstances , how discreet ( or otherwise ) the couple were in their courtship & how busy or nosy the elders ( and more importantly their wives ) are.

    Time is a big healer here so given a couple of years or so , nobody will be bothered (though she will always be regarded as spiritually weak.) Due to the imbalance of females v males in the organisation , every congregation has a few sisters married to non-JWs so most people understand , though they might not approve.

  • Balaamsass2
    Balaamsass2

    If sisters' new hubby "pretends" and goes to a few meetings the cong Elders may love bomb him, otherwise she should expect a marking talk to make an example of her for the other single sisters to not "walk disorderly".

  • talesin
    talesin

    Oh, well, she's still a believer, and they have already let her get away with so much?

    I wouldn't be too worried..... she is an experienced double-lifer who knows how to manipulate the system. These folks usually land on their feet.

    t

  • mikeypants
    mikeypants

    My wife married me and I'm an non-baptized, facial hair sporting, non meeting goer. She is baptized and her father is an elder. She didn't get in trouble, no family came to wedding of course but there wasn't any JC meetings or such. Think she has hopes of converting me.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    I agree with everything dozy stated.

    I don't even think a "marking talk" applies once she has married the person -- only about dating an unbeliever.

    But so much changes in JW-dom at the drop of hat, so who knows how the wind is blowing this week.

    Doc

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