How to capitalise on recent unwise appointment with my wife. (page 2)

stuckinarut2

Perhaps the Holy Spirit was away on holiday at the time?

Fernando

Unrelated questions?

To capitalise on this "appointment" trigger?

"Is legalism apostasy?"

or

Is it true that more than half the Bible's references to "good news" are by Paul?

and

Should we as publishers of the "good news" publish the "good news" according to Paul?

Ding

If she's already angry, maybe it's best to keep quiet for awhile and let her process it.

Listen carefully to what's going on inside her.

It isn't enough to make it evident that the appointment was flawed and no HS involved... anyone would tell you that this is normal and that if he does not deserve to be there Jehovah would remove him in due time. Which is crap too, but you know this above statement is true in JW land. However, the bad appoinment will be compounded with the time factor. How long will this guy remain as an elder and what would his behavior be during the assignment. If he makes a sudden change an begins to appear respectable, then everyone will definitely seal him as picked by HS.. But if he screws up as an elder and remains appointed, then you have a much stronger case.

OneEyedJoe

I would just try to draw her out and get her to express her feelings on the matter so that they won't be so quickly forgotten. Especially if you find that you have trouble restraining yourself when the wife is criticising the cult (i can fully relate to that). Practice restraint until you're more able to walk the line effectively.

Focus on how asking about her feelings and her thoughts. Don't give her multiple choice or either-or type questions because it will either end the conversation when alarm bells go off, or she'll be backed into a corner and forced to toe the party line. If you force her to verbally back the cult, it will cause CD and force her to change her beliefs to be more in line with the cult.

If you can get her to create a lasting memory about how she feels about this one event, that will keep getting called to mind when she sees this guy in the congregation and when he gives a talk. After he gives a talk or makes some minor (or hopefully major) error, you might say something like "you know I didn't really have much of a problem with it when he was orrigionally appointed - but you were right. I don't think he should have been appointed." This will remind her of her original oppinion on the matter (she will likely try to convice herself that she never thought that as time goes on) and force her to try and reconcile things all over again.

Of course, take this with a grain of salt - I haven't had just a ton of luck with my wife yet. It's still early though, or so I tell myself.

Spectre

Quite a paradox indeed! He was appointed by holy spirit.....but if he wasn't, we need to wait on jehovah to correct matters.

Apognophos

Don't you think that your wife already sees the problem, if she's upset about it? What more do you need to say?

disposable hero of hypocrisy

Hey all!

A conversation was had, all very civil and even conspiratorial, and not even vaguely forced. She's mad as hades about it, even to the point of thinking of moving congs! Thank you all for your suggestions, I'm gradually learning more and more to shut up and just listen. There's no way this will be forgotten, I even managed to get your example out, slidin fast!

hate this waiting game..

Pete Zahut

You could say to your wife something like....

" I've heard some Witnesses say "It's a perfect orginaziation run by imperfect men" so one could understand how someone like Brother X could be wrongly appointed. The trouble is, thousands are shunning their family members and former friends who may have been wrongly disfellowshipped by men like Brother X , who were wrongly appointed to a position of authority. It's scary when you realize that 8 million people worldwide have planned their entire lives around the directives made by imperfect men who they've never met and are ready to die if they need a blood transfusion for example. Especially after all these decades, these men have decided to allow blood fractions....hopefully, for the parents who's children have died, they won't decide that the rest of their understanding on the blood issue is wrong as well. Anyway, I guess only time will tell."

snare&racket

Ask her...

"Do you think the Holy Spirit directs appointments in the hall?"

if yes...

" with regard to elder paedophiles in the news all over the place, Did God and his Holy Spirit know that an elder or MS would turn bad and choose them anyway?"

"If not what use is the Holy Spirit! If yes, it makes the HS and God responsible for the feelings of those stumbled by criminal and sexual/violent crimes committed by those people. it makes the HS responsible mass disgust at such activity."

How to capitalise on recent unwise appointment with my wife.