How to fade intelligently ? Tell me your secret and then I will tell you in due time my secret. It's important when we have to face a manipulative cult with some members of our family trapped inside, yes it is important to know how to fade intelligently so that our JW family members are not going to shun us. Please tell me how you do to cope ?
How to fade intelligently ?
by TheFadingAlbatros 17 Replies latest social family
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ABibleStudent
From reading others posts, incompetence, always needy (i.e., money) to elders, unreliable, and then moving to two or more congregations probably work best for fading. Waiting on Jehovah is another option.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
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adjusted knowledge
Everyones situtation is different. Mine was easy as towards the beginning of my fade, my mother and sibilings were inactive. All my other relatives are not JW.
I've know a few who went this method.
1.) Start missing one meeting a week. Then more as the months go by.
2.) Decrease service time and giving talks.
3.) Move far away
Some to keep contact with family members have feign depression and that they've been stumbled and are waiting on Jehovah to fix things.
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Isle of Lewis
1) Start missing meetings.
2) Claim health problems & depression are the reason.
3) Never express your doubts or true feelings to a JW (they dont care and it wil make you a target).
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fulltimestudent
Why fade, just jump ship.
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stuckinarut2
Yes, dont fall into the trap of thinking that we can share "the truth about the truth" to our closest friends....They will throw you under the bus in a heartbeat!
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Separation of Powers
Isle of Lewis is pretty much the way I have faded. Fortunately (and unfortunately) we experienced a tragedy in our family that really opened my eyes to the TTAT. Unlike some who decide to leave because of doctrine, the lack of love was the catalyst. Missing meetings and service was easy once I confronted the elders for their lack of concern and true empathy and compassion. Elders don't like it when people tell them they are far from Jesus especially when you have served as an elder are were stellar in that regard (not trying to blow my own horn, just the truth). So, no calls. No visits. No shepherding. NOT even a visit from the CO after serving for as long as I did. It has been easy for me and no incling of returning.
As for family, well my family was pretty dysfunctional anyway so they pretty much didnt care about me or mine when we were towing the party line....no great loss there.
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TheFadingAlbatros
You are all nice guys and girls. Thank you so much for your answers. If you don't mind it, tomorrow I'll give the key for an intelligent fading, especially for those wo want to keep a normal human contact with their family members still trapped in the so called "Jehovah's organization". Have a good night. Thanks so much for reading. I go sleep now (European time).
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DATA-DOG
#1. DO NOT SAY YOU BELIEVE YOU SHOULD PARTAKE.
That at is a HUGE mistake. Just STFU and sneak away. Fake depression ( not too difficult for a JW ), act stumbled ( again, not too hard ), just DON'T friggin tell ANYONE that you think you should partake!!!
DD
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berrygerry
Tell them that you're depressed.
Ask if you can talk about it.
Talk for hours and hours.
Afterward say that that was nice, but you still feel depressed.
Can we talk again?
Those 3 hours invested will pay huge dividends.