Top 10 Signs that Jehovah's Witnesses Want to Disfellowship You:

OnTheWayOut

I've posted these years ago and was reminiscing, so I thought I would share the laugh with you again.

10. There's two guys in suits staying all night outside your home in a four-door sedan.

9. An elder you spoke to on the phone calls and asks you to repeat what you said the other day, but asks you to speak slowly and clearly.

8. Suddenly, JW friends stop by and ask an awful lot of the same questions.

7. Your laptop computer was moved, left on, or is missing.

6. You left your car unlocked, it was thoroughly searched by someone but absolutely nothing is missing including your GPS which was searched too.

5. Your boss asks if you are in trouble with the law or someone, stating some really polite men were asking about you and left some "tracts."

4. Someone picked up the cigarette butts around your back porch.

3. The bartender at your favorite nightspot asks if you have ever before seen the guys in the corner booth that have been ordering "Cokes" all evening and pulling out a camera everytime you order a beer.

2. You receive registered mail and you already served on a jury this year.

1. Your JW mother who finally had accepted that you will never go back starts begging you to either go back to the Kingdom Hall or move with no forwarding address.

apostrate

Thanks for posting that! I'm laughing out loud! They are so true and funny at the same time! I also have to laugh when I hear JW's say THE ELDERS ARE NOT SPIRITUAL POLICEMEN. Oh yeah?

Back in the 70's a young (in her late teens or early twenties) sister was having an affair with a (married, but separated, I believe) Ministerial Servant. Several of the elders sat in their SEDAN most of the night waiting for her to show up at the brothers apartment. She eventually did. The elders gave them a few minutes before abruptly knocking on their front door to catch them by surprise!

Now, the point is, doesn't that sound like "spiritual policemen" to you? In fact, we know that many are more like spiritual Gestapo Agents! The reason that I know this is because I worked for a couple of the elders. And on the jobsite they openly talked about this and many other things right in front of me. Of course, I was young (about 17 or 18) and I seemed to be invisible to them.

And, in the end, I did the #1 and moved and left no forwarding address.

sparky1

What you speak about apostrate was very common in the 50's, 60's and 70's. Voyeurism in the name of 'keeping the congregation clean' was a great hobby for some Elders. Now with stalking and privacy laws the Elders have to be very careful.

little_Socrates

Some of those sound outlandish. Do you know of examples for all of them or is this simply a comedy piece?

I don't know if I should find this funny or very sad. It invokes both feelings simulanteously.

problemaddict 2

Are we doing this Jeff Foxworthy style?

If you come late, leave early, but are NOT the life of the party.......you may be disfellowshipped.

LogCon

I like # 9.

Perhaps at any future Judicial Committee meetings the accused could swear they do not have any tape recorders ...

... and then ...

... ask that everyone present speak SLOWLY and CLEARLY!

apostrate

problemaddict,

That reminds me of one I heard years ago, but it's still a good'un,

If you're walking down the aisles of Home Depot, but just can't resist the urge to knock on the display doors........You just might be a Jehovahs Witness!!!

Spectre

11. There's a local needs talk about "keeping the congregation clean and the need to confess" and the speaker is looking at you the whole time.

LisaRose

An elder asks you how long you have been a Jehovah's Witness, not counting today.

An elder is peeping in your window trying to see if you have a Christmas tree.

They tell you not to bother turning in your field service report.

apostrate

An elder asks you how long you have been a Jehovah's Witness, not counting today.

They're all good, but that one really tickled me!!

Top 10 Signs that Jehovah's Witnesses Want to Disfellowship You:

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