Encinitas Congregation Encinitas CA.

by exwhyzee 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  Dagney

  Sorry for your loss exwhyzee.

  I love that area, and had friends that went to that hall. I knew an elder who did restoration work on museum art, Da Vinci type art. Very nice "brother" and wife. He did an excellent funeral talk for a mutual friend. Can't remember his name...can't remember anybody's name...

  I've wondered the same thing myself as you have said:

  sometimes wonder if it would be better to go back and not take it all so seriously and just reap the benefits of being around people who are trying their best to be decent and good.

  It only happens after an enjoyable social time with old friends. I feel very conflicted afterward and miss them, even though I know it's not a true friendship. Then I get angry at them for not leaving like I did. Then I feel a bit sad...ugh.

  It would be hard for me at this point to justify the waste of time it all takes all for nothing, a lies. Annnnddd wow...the wording in the literature drives me bananas. But still after all these years of being out...it still serves a punch in the gut.
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  steve2

  I understand exwhyzee.

  It's not dissimilar to when couples separate due to a moderate-level failure to resolve their problems. When they meet up again, they wonder what the fuss was about and are in two minds about staying apart. Fact is, though, the things that caused them to first separate have not been resolved. Worse still, one of them thinks they'll just repress the differences for the sake of getting back together so that some of their basic human needs to belong can be met.

  That actually works for some people. You decide. Sometimes people have to go back - even one more time to see what is was that drove them apart in the first place.

  Best.
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  exwhyzee

  B.O.C. Yes it is a small world sometimes especially in an insular community such as JW's

  Bizzy Bee: We went to a nice luncheon an older couple had at their house (she's from Paris) and it turns out everyone there knew someone from our area. (Seattle) The same older couple even lived in our town for a time. It turned out to be a session of " do you know so and so ? " - and - " do the so and so's, still go to your hall ? "We had do be sort of evasive so as not to wind up having to go into the fact that we are not attending. LisaRose: Yes...the reality of going back, facing the boredom of the meetings and the expectation of having to go in field service (never again) is pretty off-putting. Steve2: Yes...and adults who were from abusive homes can sometimes conjur fond childhood memories. We tend to see the past through rose colored glasses. Flipper: There's no way I'd ever take any of it seriously or become indoctrinated. I'd definetly be considered as a weak one, as I would never go in service again (that would be dishonest) and I'd be very tempted to make subtle "alternative" comments in the meetings, pointing out some of the ironies of the JW logic. Thanks for the kind words and we will be in touch. We were going to give you guys a call around Thanksgiving to see what you were doing but it would have been a bit too " last minute" . Hi Dagney: Thanks...the person who died was a true friend to us even thought she didn't approve of us leaving "the truth". I considerd her the big Sister I never had and she'd introduce me to people as her Brother. She had a fall and the hospital botched the combination of pain medication they gave her and it did her in. She was an amazing artist who made her living traveling the world with ther art. I'll send you a link to her website and facebook so you can look at her work.
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  cantleave

  Go back, take what works for you, don't give them a single cent in return.
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  Open mind

  Wishing you and your wife the very best, whatever paths you choose.

  If you're ever popping through our area, we'd love to see you.

  om and ms. om

  Happy Festivus! (or whatever you do this time of year)