by Yondaime 14 Replies latest jw friends
Its all about standing up for yourself and not allowing a bully to do what he does. Most elders are bullies, but stand up to them, and boy do they stand down in a New York second.
Oh, and standing up to them also includes purposely vanishing off of their radar with no explanation necessary!
I stopped suddenly a few months after telling the elders I no longer wanted to serve in the congregation. My wife continues to go. It took 10 months for the first contact from the congregation to happen in the form of an unannounced visit from 2 elders. I didn't invite them in and told them to leave me alone. It's been 4 years...not a peep from anyone. Only the occasional hello from so and so when my wife returns from her meeting. I think the key is to be directed and firm.
I don't recall from your previous threads if you are still living at home or attending school somewhere else. While living at home has some benefits, if you are going to school somewhere else (even nearby) you are in a good position. First, attend a meeting or two at the 'away' cong. Maybe even go out in service once (if you can handle it). Tell them that you are travelling quite a bit, to be back home as often as possible to help your family, so they shouldn't be suprised not to see you all the time. The 'home' congregation will assume you are away. When you are back home, attend a meeting and drop a few names from the 'away' cong, especially important if someone on the 'home' team knows someone on the 'away' team. They will check.
Then, stop going all together. I got away with this for over a year. It was a great chance for me to get my head in 'better' place.
If you are still dependent on your parent's support, you will need to play a different game. But it can be done. Don't give up. Your life (the rest of it) depends on it. Hang in there. You are doing well...
Move your cards to another hall. They will loose track of you and fade. Enjoy your life.
To our OP: Its tempting a bit to treat the "how many meetings can I miss before I will be lectured" game in your head. Like "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?"
If you have family, please be strategic. It isn't a game and while some are in the position to PLAY some mischief on the local 'authorities', it usually is not a tactic for the average person leaving. Unless you are orphaned and live in a town you plan to leave soon anyway, don't be too clever. You could pay a higher price than you think.
