Tonight as I was putting my son to bed, we were looking out his bedroom window from his bed, down upon the neighbors' house across the street. They have a beautiful, big sparkly Christmas tree in their front window and my son gazed at it and said, "That's what's missing from our family." Talk about daggers through the heart!
I've been fading for two years, but my husband is still all in and trying to take the kids in tow. I finally worked up the courage to ask him if I could have a tree this year, but it was an unequivocal "no." Not surprising, I don't know what I was thinking.
The hard part is that both of my kids are awake and know that it's all a bunch of hogwash, but they're quite young (preteens) and I continue to tell them that their father has a right to teach them about his religion and they have to show respect to him. I also have a right to teach them critical thinking skills and continue to do that at every opportunity. It looks like my efforts have been working.
Just not sure what to do about the holiday thing- both kids really want to celebrate their birthdays and holidays but if it means breaking up our family? Everything else is tolerable- my husband doesn't give me a hard time about my fading and we just don't talk ahout religion. I continue to try to drop hints and questions here and there to try to get him to wake up but who knows if it will ever work.
It's just so frustrating to see my kids in the middle of all of this. But would being able to have holidays and birthdays be worth it if it meant we had to split up our family? I keep coming to the answer no, but it's hard to watch my kids suffer in the meantime.