DATELINE VIEWERS BEWARE!!! (page 2)

Elsewhere

WAIT!!!! DON'T THROW AWAY YOUR TV JUST YET!!!

Introducing: Demon & Satan Extermination services by Elsewhere

That’s right!!! You don't have to throw away your TV after watching something that could possibly leave your television demonized!!!

How is it done? Simply, we "channel" God's name, Jehovah, into your television via your televisions receiver. In essence, your television will be "Calling out in the name of Jehovah" every moment it is on, thereby driving out any demon infestation and preventing any future infestations.

Sign up now for only $19.95 per month!!! That’s right! Less than $20 per month will protect you and your loved one's television from demon possession.

(Note, $19.95 fee applies to EACH individual television)

"As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
Believe in yourself, not mythology.
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TheStar

What a great thread! LOL@ 144 and March on!

Sorry 144, my big screen... (cough) er I mean my 13" doesn't attract demons. You wouldn't want mine.

Carmel

My neighbor claims to have a 13" Admiral, but knowing him, I doubt it's a TV.

carm

144thousand_and_one

Please note:

Once an inanimate object has been demonized, there is no remedy that will excise the demon(s) other than destruction of the affected property. Destroying a television can be hazardous. Accordingly, while Elsewhere's service might provide temporary relief, the only way you can be sure that there are no demons in your home is to remove all possesions that have been exposed to the demons.

Upon receiving your television set, you can be assured that I'll take the necessary action to see that it never becomes part of your life again. However, I do insist that you pay the shipping costs and no CODs are accepted.

Remember friends, Armageddon is "just around the corner." Do you want to enter the great tribulation while possessing a demonic television set? Don't miss out on this limited-time opportunity to purge your household of undesirable demonic elements!

Windchaser

Tell ya what, 144, send me your ab muscles and I will send you my tv (which, since May 28, keeps trying to grab my breasts as I pass by).

Cassiline

{{{{{{{{{{{{{ WiNDCHASER }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

How I have missed you. ((((()))))&'s

C

When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

Windchaser

((((((((((CASSILINE!!!!!!!!))))))))))))

And, I have missed you sooo much, too!!!!! Even though I became a member here a while back, I've been slow changing over from Timothy's. Kinda felt like a traitor...WRONG! So glad to find you here. :D

MarchOn

If you guys think watching Dateline and Harry Potter makes the demons act up-you should see what happens when you slip a porno in!!!!!

Valis

Else, can you get my Subaru to call out jehovahs name over and over again? It isn't going to pass the new inspection and tends to act up. If it isn't the 100,000+ ,miles it must be demonic influence.I tried praying over it.."OHGOD! PLEASE JUST LET ME MAKE IT HOME ON THREE TIRES!!!"....I've tried reasoning from the scriptures, it never answers me, except the leaking....its very contrarian..I turn on the AC and all I get is hot, I turn on the heat and the vent opens to the cold 70 mph wind...You may be my only hope Elsewhere of the Obiwan Kanobi class...

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Elsewhere

Valis, sure no problem!!!

All I'll need from you is a valid credit card number and I will proptly activate the service.

(No pay, no pray)

"As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
Believe in yourself, not mythology.
<x ><

DATELINE VIEWERS BEWARE!!!

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