I was very tired today, still am. Age is getting to me. Well, when I'm tired I spend my time watching whatever I find interesting on the net, news etc. Then in some self-hate moment I went back to JW Broadcasting and watched a few videos there. I say self-hate because it hurts, sometimes it hurts too much.
At any rate, afterwards I'm thinking about the video you all were talking about here the one which will be shown at the Regional Convention where a child puts money into the contribution box rather than buy an ice cream with it. I started giving thought to that and could not stop thinking about it and then it hit me.
That video will be shown to millions of parents around the world. Millions of parents with millions of small children and grandchildren. What will the parents and children want to do after watching that video. It would be perfectly natural for children who have already come to love Caleb and Sophia, to want to put something in box in imitation of them. And the parents and grandparents will naturally feel pride, and be encouraged by the child, to give them a dollar or a coin to put in the box. In fact why not put in a dollar or coin every day of the Convention?
How much money even in coins or single dollars will have then be put in the contribution boxes by millions of children wanting to imitate Sophia? And this at conventions all around the world.
So my thinking kept on. Could it be that's why this video's release was kept for the Conventions around the world and was not first released on the JW dot org site? Could this actually be the plan? To get millions of children to put money in the boxes at the Conventions around the world? Can they really be that calculating, that cold, that evil?
Can this be true?
As I said I'm very tired. Not just physically but emotionally too. I'm ready to take a good look at my life and my religion. I'm ready to let the rain sink in. Ready to allow all this really soak in my bones and then see how it feels. Do I stay? Stay in my religion? Do I run for the door? Do I have the energy to continue to try and help the few I can at the KH or do I run away in horror at what is going on? They will see it in my face at the next meeting. I know it.
I have truly enjoyed my time here. I hope I've not hurt anyone's feelings or given cause for complaint if so I sincerely apologize. We may never meet but I sure hope you all will be happy and satisfied in this life and though many here do not believe I do hope to have a laugh and glass of wine with all here in the next life.
I'm not saying goodbye, I'm just not sure where I go from here and what I will do. I love my books perhaps I'll spend time getting to know them again or anew.
With much love and respect to all here,
Frank