Df'd notifying elders of no return? (page 2)

myself

Sometimes the reaction of wanting to say "I will not be back, I do not want to apply for reinstatement" is a means of getting in the last word,especially when there is a lot of hurt. I wouldn't make the effort of contacting them. Sometimes it is better to fade on out of the picture.

detective

Now, dung, you know I have the utmost respect for this place. What I mean by saying he'd be eaten alive is that I worry he'd log on and say how he thought it was the truth etc. etc. and be blown away by the amount of people who could argue that theory into oblivion. He's too fragile right now and I worry that he'd freak out and run away.

I do have a nice fellow who emailed me and gave me his phone number and I might contact him to see if it's okay if I call. I don't think my friend would go for calling someone who left the group just yet. Bottom line...he's just not ready and I don't want to push him away.

But, I hope you understand, I really appreciate this board and folks like you, Dung.

teejay

I’m very curious about your friend.

Why would he want to tell the elders that he has no plans to apply for re-instatement? I’ve never heard of such a thing! Seems like if he was at peace with his decision and where he’s at in life, he’d just ride off into the sunset and not care less about the JWs. Why play games with people (and a way of life) he doesn’t care about anymore? But then, you *did* say that he’s not cut all emotional ties just yet.

As far as elders taking note of df’d ones... I can say that situations vary, but in my case, since many of the elders were personal friends, I found out later that they noticed when I was missing. The meetings are/were the only times they were ‘scripturally’ allowed to see me, so when I wasn’t there, they noticed. So, I never got the feeling that they actually looked for me (they certainly never called or came by), but I know they missed me.

Depending on his “length of service” and the kind of friendship he’s had (up till now) with the elders that were on his committee (and others on the body), they may very well miss your friend terribly.

detective

Why would he want to tell the elders that he has no plans to apply for re-instatement?

That's what i'm asking you, teejay! I haven't the faintest idea what's "normal" and what isn't for this type of situation! I thought it was odd too.

My feeling on this, and this is only a guess, is that maybe he wants to believe that they are more loving and family like than they are and is clinging to that belief. It could be that he doesn't want to bother with them again, but it seems more like it's an attempt to hang onto a good thought about the group.

These elders don't know him. He's switched around a couple of times in the past three years. This cong. is post-disfellowshipping so I'd imagine they hardly know him at all. He was attending for awhile in a df'd state but I just don't know what to think!

He's a good guy though- maybe he doesn't want to be rude?(sounds crazy, I know, but if you knew him you'd know what I mean)

blondie

Official Stance Regarding Helping DF'd by Elders

*** w96 11/1 14-16 Sharing the Comfort That Jehovah Provides ***
Even disfellowshipped ones may be in need of comfort if they have repented and corrected their wrong course. Thus, “the faithful and discreet slave” has instituted a merciful provision to assist them. Once a year two elders may visit certain disfellowshipped ones. These may no longer show a rebellious attitude or be engaged in gross sin and may need help to take the necessary steps to get reinstated.—Matthew 24:45; Ezekiel 34:16.

*** w91 4/15 23 Imitate God's Mercy Today ***
Once a year at most, the body of elders should consider whether there are such persons living in their territory. The elders would focus on those who have been expelled for over a year. According to the circumstances, if it is appropriate, they would assign two elders (hopefully ones familiar with the situation) to visit such an individual. No visit would be made on any who evidence a critical, dangerous attitude or who have made it known that they want no help.—Romans 16:17, 18; 1 Timothy 1:20; 2 Timothy 2:16-18.

(Personally, if this person needs to say it to the elders to feel like the situation is closed and to prevent such visits, why shouldn't he do it. If it makes him feel better, go for it)

dungbeetle

Your best bet might be to contact a couple of people on this board who you like, and see if he will be comfortable emailing them.

There are a lot of people here still attending meetings, still going to conventions blah blah blah, (people like me, but I picket kingdom halls/conventions on the side, which non-jw's seem to find hilarious for some reason)

That's an in between sort of thing that might work.

Your friend needs to get to an apostofest. Oh well.

BEFORE YOU TRY AND REMOVE THE STICK FROM MY ARSE, REMOVE THE TELEPHONE POLE FROM YOUR OWN ARSE.

SPAZnik

LOL @ Elsewhere...i like that.

garybuss

,

Det wrote: <he thought they'd see he was missing and come around looking for him. Is that common?>

Hahaha When I quit attending group meetings, not df or da, it took the group leaders (read elders) 10 years to notice I was not there.

Hahahaha

Then they asked me if I had and questions and I gave them 10. I never heard from them again till I went after them. I took those fools to the front page of our daily newspaper and they hid like rats in the woodpile.

I'd love for those ass wipes to try to disfellowship me. I would have them in a meat grinder they never even dreamed of.

I am going to threaten to sue them if they DON'T shun me. :-)

gb

.

Df'd notifying elders of no return?

Share this