This is actually funny to me that I ran across this thread tonight. I work nights and while sleeping yesterday had a dream about my grandmother on my dad's side. I'm not really one to put a lot of faith in these things, though I do believe in the existence of the afterlife.
Well basically my grandmother died in 1995 basically from old age. At the time I was in the Navy and hadn't seen her since 1993. I was unable to make the funeral and always carried guilt for that to this day. I was very close to her from the time I can remember until she died. Anyway, since she died I haven't gone back to Southern Illinois where she lived and visited my uncles or anything. I always mean to get down there but just haven't done it in all these years. Well the first thing in this dream was seeing her like she was alive and in the dream I hugged her and greeted her. The part though that is strange to me was the fact that I apologized to her because I haven't seen her in all these years (9). I can't remember much of anything she said to that, but it was understanding and comfort as if to tell me it's okay. Then in this same dream suddenly it was like I was sitting out in the yard of her old house with her, and I lit a cigarette. She told me how I know those are bad for me. And as I was getting ready to leave in the dream I left them laying on the ground.
The thing that got me was the parts of telling her I was sorry that I hadn't seen her in so long because I've always felt unsettled because of not making her funeral and not making it back to see her the last 2 years she was alive. This is something that has always bothered me greatly.
The other thing that got me was I have been fighting for a long while with quitting smoking. I have done very well and not smoked a whole bunch least not like I used too, but still do some. My father developed throat cancer last year from years of smoking but so far has managed to be cancer free for a year, but that's another story. Anyway, my grandmother would not in life anyway tell me how bad they are for me and all of that stuff. Then the fact that as I was leaving her house in the dream I left the cigarettes behind, as I have done many times by tossing them out and such in attempts to quit completely.
I wouldn't bet the farm on it, but I sure do think somehow and someway she was trying to tell me something. Maybe some closure for the guilt I have always felt about not seeing her enough towards the end, and maybe that I needed to just knock off the smoking the rest of the way even though I have done well, just not completely quit.
Sorry for rambling on and on and on.. But that dream yesterday really got me spinning.. I've never experienced anything like that before. It was more then just a plain dream I think.
Any thoughts???
-Rick
"Keeping an eye on the Watchtower deviants"
