@ grunt:
that sounds very sad. how could they convince her?
one can just hope that your daughter is at least happy with her current believes!
Realist.
Dateline--Dialogue with a JW
by patio34 16 Replies latest jw friends
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Realist
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Marilyn
Grunt, It sounds like you would have been more careful if you'd understood what your daughter was capable of. I was *caught* in much the same way as you. My brother used to come to our house and ask questions about why we left. It was the late 70's and I didn't know you could be disfed for being honest in the privacy of your own home(especially as I didn't invite the discussions). I haven't seen that brother now for over 20 yrs. ;-(
Pat, it's impossible to know how your son will react. Of course his starting and finishing point is: He has the TOTAL AND ABSOLUTE truth and anyone who criticises his truth is an enemy and working for Satan. It really does seem pointless to discuss anything with someone who thinks like that. On the other hand I'm fast coming to the conclusion that we soft handle our dubbie loved ones, because we are afraid of losing them - like we haven't already. I sometimes think we should be jumping up and down screaming at them to wake up!
Marilyn
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TheContagion
I tried to read your letter with my father's eyes. You had me up untill the quoting JWs. At that point i heard a vioce in my head that said "where is is getting this stuff? He must have gotten these lies from apostates!" And then from that point he would disregard what he was about to sympathize with.
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patio34
Hi Marilyn, You're right, of course, that anyone who even thinks differently is seen as Satan's dupe. And this particular son is completely loyal to the Party. But your other statement about soft handling them (or letting them run ramshod over us) is true too. But if they stay in the borg, you're right, we've lost them already.
Really, the approach i was using was from Steven Hassan's book trying to just get him to think a bit. And he opened the dialogue with telling me what the letter in the congs. said. Sometimes things work and sometimes they don't. It's all a live and learn thing, isn't it?
Hi Contagion, Oooo, that's a good view. I can really see that side of it now. Ah,h,h well.
Probably my son will steam a while. If I hear from him, i'll post the gist of his reply.
Pat
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patio34
Good News Update!
I sent a 2nd e-mail to my son stating that we should let it lie and not let it cause disagreements between us. Then I was chatty and told him all the family news, etc.
I got an e-mail from him today and he said he was hoping we could come to some sort of "truce" about it. So, it turned out we "agree to disagree" and aren't going to discuss the JW stuff.
Whew! Cuz I regretted writing that letter and it blew over. On the plus side, maybe some of it will wake him up someday.
Thanks for your replies.
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patio34
Sorry--double post. I don't know how that happened. Maybe it was when I did preview?
Edited by - patio34 on 10 June 2002 13:19:49
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hillary_step
Patio,
What you have written is precise and correct. This is no guarantee of course that it will be read with anything but JW spectacles and as such will only only harden views toward you. You are the best judge of your son and his family.
Just a point:
Certainly at least some congregations have handled it wrongly in the past. A Circuit Overseer relayed the message that all the elders associated with the reinstatement of Manuel Beliz, the convicted JW child molester, have been deleted as elders. This was one of the primary persons on the Dateline program.
This it transpires was just a rumor and is not accurate - I would delete it immediately until the true facts emerge.
Best regards - HS
Edited by - hillary_step on 10 June 2002 14:8:18
Edited by - hillary_step on 10 June 2002 14:8:53