Now what to do? Most of my immediate family are still in, I don’t want to lose them and my friends/community who are sincere and good people in the main. Frankly this whole thing process is completely torturous

Torturous. Good description.

You've taken the "red pill" and there is no turning back. You cannot "unlearn" TTATT once you have discovered it.

You can "fake it" and stay in for family and social reasons. And you CANNOT tell anyone what you have learned.

You can "fade". Perhaps find some reason to be "stumbled" and walk out and explain that you are "waiting on Jehovah" to fix the problem. You still CANNOT tell anyone what you have learned. That would likely end your fade.

You can shout from the rooftops everything you have learned about TTATT and almost immediately see 3 elders at your door.

No good choices. Torturous.

Doc

millie210

Good list in the original post!

I agree with DOC that if possible, get "stumbled" (the more noticed by others the better) and begin your fade.

This is how it happened to (for) me and the end result is most of the congregation feels my family was wronged and is highly supportive even though none of us attend the Hall anymore.

We own a business and not one of the JWs that worked for us has left. As a matter of fact more have come on board.

None of us initiate negative talk about the Org. but still in people initiate it with us. Everyone has just made up their own minds that things werent handled right.

It makes the fade easier and you keep more friendships even though I didnt realize it starting out.

LisaRose

After may years away from the religion my list is pretty much the same. I agree with those here who advise to take it slow. Since you have family and friends you don't want to lose you have a lot to think about. There are no easy answers, so make sure you can live with the long term consequences of any decisions. It's rough to lose family and friends, it's also rough to live a lie, either way it's better to know ttatt (truth about the truth) than not.

Alive!

Thank you for that list - it covers many issues that irked my conscience and started the painful journey.

I really didn't handle my "awakening" well at all - I talked with too many, always asking "how would we explain this to someone who is NOT a JW" - a sympathetic ear initially, followed up by "I'll do some research" followed by no contact.

The above playing out of this situation became another issue - why the same, same answers, the same " I'll do some research" and nothing.

I've been careful over the years to avoid being "stumbled" by the actions and behaviours of other JWS. And we are not talking just personality foibles or weaknesses here - I'm talking about exposure to hardcore crime, hardcore hatefulness and an interesting leaning towards half truths, lies. And, whilst we had a horrible episode that directly affected us many years ago, the other issues I have seen involved others, including elders wives, elders and pioneers - I knew about these things because I was a comforter and "go to" for confiding.

If people on the outside knew the extent of madness that existed on the inside - they'd be shocked.

If they knew, that the nice, charming people at their door would go back to their car group and discuss the everything about their "householder" and their lives as an object of interest ( in a loving way of course) and that the nice family walking the street with their bibles were chuckling about which house they had dibs on after Armageddon and the occupants were dead....c'mon, it happens and we KNOW it.

I used to feel sick when I listened to some of the "publishers" - but would tuck away that feeling and remember they are imperfect.

Standing back, I cannot excuse such twisted "Christian" madness as to believe that the turning away of a magazine on smoking, waster shortages or whatever represented a choice to reject Christ.

Don't screw up - take your time and don't feel you have to go on a mini crusade ( I did!!!! - I achieved nothing)

Take care - and great thread!

Daniel1555

Wow.. tornintwo...

Welcome....

You listened to your doubts for only 1 month and you already see most of the problems, unloving and illogic things in JW doctrine.

To do research and to write my thoughts down helped me also a great deal.

By doing this, listening and living according to your conscience, you are free. Free from the bondage of the watchtower.

Concerning blood it was so helpful to read many of the older posts under "blood." A great impression made all the ajwrb articles, the posts of marvin shilmer, scully and of cofty, jensen letters, the case of a guy from belgium who went to brooklyn to ask the gb about his doubts, and the disassociation letter of 1 elder mainly because of blood.

I also suggest to you to read Crisis of Conscience and in Searc8h of Christian Freedom by Ray Franz. These books are a real eye opener and are written with so much respect and also love.

I truly understand that you are torn in two especially because of your family. Just think, you made already a big step. You have time. Be especially kind and loving to your family, respecting them but also being true to your inner feelings and conscience. This is very difficult. I think your family will get to know maybe in different ways, that you think and feel differently about religion. Will they respect you, your feelings? Or would they place their loyalty to this organisation ahead of everything, even you and your family? In my case my wife did that and we are sadly in divorce now. I view her not as an opposer but as a victim of this organisation. For others it is manageable to still have a good and respectful family life, even though the feelings about religion are different.

I wish you all the best for your personal way to inner peace and freedom and also to cope with all obstacles that you have to deal with.

JakeM2012

“A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions”

― Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Lots of great advice here.

I would like to add the thought about 1 Timothy 2:5New International Version (NIV)

5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, {Per WTBTS says, "Not All Men"} Look for their brackets in the literature.

WTBTS teaches that Jesus Mediatorship only applies to the anointed and not to all of mankind like the scripture says. With this belief enforced and in place the WTBTS then becomes your 'mediator" and you have to treat her very nicely if you want to survive Armageddon.

I have never like that idea, and it is not something taught in the fundamental study books for bible students. I was raised in "the truth" and it wasn't until I was in my late 30's did I ever realize they had stole Jesus thunder.

Finkelstein

The JWS are a dangerous high controlling religious cult that oppresses and suffocates peoples own intellect.

Not to mention the needless deaths of thousands of people some innocent unsuspecting children, indirectly caused numerous suicides due its shunning policy between family members as well broken apart millions of families over its century of existence.

Not to mention creating unfounded unscriptural doctrines such 1874, 1914 , 1925 , 1975 etc.

I think I made the right choice some 30 years ago.

Tornintwo

Hi everyone, thanks for the great replies, feels so good to speak to people who understand.

Nice summary Of the choices we face DOC. It sounds like Millie and her family have found the sweet spot, inactive but without shunning or too much disapproval. I have had a great deal of stress this last year, which some of the elders know about, so I can use to a certain extent the stress/depression card truthfully to reduce my activity and start to fade.

I just really need to learn to keep my mouth shut because I've sounded off too much to my husband so far, thinking he'd start to open his eyes too, but he just comes straight back with the standard answers and I can't stand the way he equates it all with loyalty to God.

Thanks again, much to think about

Village Idiot

Tornintwo,

"Elevation of the GBThe habit of equating GB teachings with Jehovah..."

That's what got me out, not doctrine or dates. It is the psychology of these people that counts even if they had no change in doctrine; no doomsday predictions; no forced field service etc.

One month researching my doubts: my crucial issues with WTBTS - what are yours?

Watchtower-Free

DesirousOfChange