non-jw family might hire jw nanny--r we crazy?

fred

we are a non-jw family with 2 kids under 5 thinking about hiring a jw live in nanny. she is in her 30's, active jw. we all have talked about mutual respect for each others religions, and all agreed to a hands off policy. but our concerns are still there--neighbors, friends, other acquaintances--will they be "targets"??? and will she be able to "control" herself with our kids and us? and will she be resentful or worse if we "reel her in" and draw a no-touch policy.

please help/advise!!! are we crazy?

Pathofthorns

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Not all JWs are exactly dying to convert you.

Your biggest concern is the time off needed for religious meetings and if you're cool with that, she probably will make a great nanny. Personally, even with my present views about the religion, I'd still consider and possibly prefer a JW to others for the position you are seeking to fill.

Path

larc

I think you have a major concern. The nanny may not discuss her religion with you, but you can be pretty certain that she will try to influence your children.

gsx1138

You are playing with fire. However, I don't believe in discrimination for religous reasons. You need to set up strict guidlines for her being there. Make sure she knows it's a job and just a job. All that being said, the WTS is a very dangerous religion. This is especially true when it comes to children and most JW's don't even notice this. The psychological damage done can be huge and most followers think any behavior out of line with policy is their fault for being spiritually weak.
I would say hire her but keep a very short leash on her. Hopefully you have a good relationship with your kids and they'll tell if she trying to preach to them. On a personal note, I don't allow any WTS person or talk into my house except my mother.

Englishman

I'm frankly astonished that anyone would even remotely consider letting a JW care for their kids.

What will she do, show them the pics from the Paradise book? That should scare 'em!

What if there is an accident and medical treatment involving blood is required?

How about Xmas decorations in a few months, will she keep quiet or try to imprint the kids with her beliefs?

I would say absolutely no to a JW looking after my kids. However, this is what WILL happen. The JW will assure you that she will not attempt to convert the children, and she won't either. BUT! She will quailify that by saying "I won't say anything unless they ask me". Then she will sit down, with her WT mag and wait for the kids to ask her what she is reading... and from there on in there will be a steady drip drip drip of dubbism.

Trust me in this, I have seen it often.

Englishman.

Angharad

I think you may have a problem when it comes to birthdays and christmas etc - I have a 2 & 5 year old and now know just how important these celebrations are to my kids. Some JW's can spoil the fun - like letting it slip that there is no such thing as santa (someone I know said that a witness had told this to her kid)

outnfree

While I have no first-hand experience in this, I did know a Catholic family (whose daughter went with mine to separate (Catholic) school) who had a JW live-in nanny. Since I was a JW and this nanny had no transportation, we would sometimes bring her to the meetings with us. She preached to the children. This I know, because the children knew a great deal about the JW religion and could empathize with my daughter.

I would say that E-man has it just about right -- ANY Witness nanny would find it difficult not to drop little informational tidbits of 'the good news' to the family s/he worked with. After all, nannies grow attached to their charges, and would not wish for them to die at Armageddon!! If s/he 'saves' the children, then, they, in turn, may eventually 'save' their opposed parents and Jehovah knows how many!

Children of Jehovah's Witnesses are psychologically harmed -- my son grew up terrified of perishing in one of the earthquakes that would precede Armageddon, for example -- do you really want this for your children?

JW Nannies would be trustworthy, kind and diligent, if they are good dubbies, but would, I think, find it difficult to keep silent about their beliefs because of the sheer amount of time they would spend with a family should they "live-in".

outnfree

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift

KistByQpid

Fred,

Ever hear the expression, "wolves in sheeps clothing?" My JW mom has attempted to infest (yes that's the word I meant) my kids with her bs...behind my back AND after REPEATED requests not to. Solution: she has little to no unsupervised time with my kids. She also watches her non JW next door neighbors daughter after school...you guessed it...she can't resist making her judgmental/sarcastic remarks about "pagans" and "so called Christians" and "The WORLD" you see what I mean? She will not miss an opportunity no matter how small or inappropriate to "witness." The JW's may "mean well" after all they think they MUST witness. However, this mindset allows them (with a clear conscience) to have absolutely NO respect for other people's beliefs and develop UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES. Your children's spiritual well being is equally important as their physical safety...listen to what those here who were once children raised in "the truth" have to say about the psychological effects.

beckyboop

Hello all,

I was a nanny for 5 years to 2 families, both non-jw. The first family I was with I was still very much "in", but very close to leaving time-wise. The 2d family was during the aftermath. Since I was a nanny, I thought I'd speak up.

I think you should think it thru very carefully before deciding anything. It's not necessarily a bad thing, because you set the rules. You can maintain a close watch, and be diligent about asking your children what was said/done during the day. That way you can counteract anything that may cause your children to think of her as "better" because of her religion--which is their goal.

That said, I still would be careful. For the most part, she would probably make a very trustworthy nanny. Make sure she is very qualified like you would for anyone. But, and this is a big but, I did try to influence the children I cared for from time to time. I have been sitting here trying to remember, and I most definitely did. Especially when it came to holidays and birthdays. Of course, in my case, that changed with the 2d family because I left. However, if your children are well balanced and can accept that not everyone is like them, then you may be able to have a great nanny. Who knows, since you come on this forum, you may be able to help her in the future.

I hope that I've helped at least a little--just trust in your ability to make a good decision for you and for your family. I would never want to discriminate against anyone, but be prepared if you decide to do it. We are always here to help you whatever you decide.

Becky

ChiChiMama

There is no way that I would allow one of Jehovah's Witnesses be a nanny for my children.I was raised as a JW and was one for 35 years.I know what I am talking about here.

A Nanny usually gets very close to the children.It's like adding another family member.
Yes,they may agree to respect your beliefs and may even promise not to preach to your children but they can't help themselves.

Your children will not get the special attention they deserve on their birthdays or any of the other holidays.
The children will be preached to every time the Nanny explains why her "Bible trained" conscience won't allow her to support your family with these celebrations.
The Nanny will cross boundries no matter what she promises in the begining.
On top of everything else she will not be healthy for your children's self esteem.
Basicaly a JW nanny would be a "Party Pooper" they expect children to be miniature adults instead of the children they should be.

Consider yourself warned.
Best wishes,

ChiChi

non-jw family might hire jw nanny--r we crazy?

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