JW Family Tries Black-Mailing Me

by Prisca 39 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Hmmm

  Prisca,

  Sorry to hear that. Like helping a six-year-old find an easy comment was suddenly going to open your eyes and make you want to return.

  This past weekend my mother had a "special request" for me. It was the weekend of the District Convention and I knew what it was: She wanted me to go to the Sunday session. When I hummed and hawed, she turned it into a "dare", and told me that there was "nothing to be afraid of." Then she tried to compromise by asking me to go to only the Public Discourse. I almost agreed, just to shut her up.

  But what did she expect to happen? She doesn't know how 'opposed' I am, but even if I were just 'weak' did she think I would hear one talk and come running back?

  Oh well,

  Hmmm
• 

  gumby

  Hi Prisca, ......similar thing happened to me a week ago. My daughter and son-in-law , lucky for me, bend the rules and let my grandkids come and spend the day with my wife, (who is still in the org.) , and I. I'm not sure why they allow this or why they talk and laugh with me when they come to get their kids or drop them off. We have no social life other than that. They are very strong in the Org. Last week my granddaughter who is 7 was over visiting and I was working in the back yard and she said "grandpa.... how come you were disfellowshiped"? ...I said 'for smoking honey' Then I said 'I don't think your mommy and daddy want me to talk to you about this'. She then said...'why don't you come back in the truth'. I said 'what do you mean ,'truth' She said...'well, you go to church and they believe Jesus died on a cross' I said ' honey we don't know what he died on but I believe he died for us and that's what matters' .......Well, I thought I said the right thing because that was a comment from the WT. Fast forward...My son-in-law hears about it from my granddaughter who tells him what we had talked about.... AFTER .....I told my wife to let my daughter know what her daughter had said to me, so she wouldn't get mad if she heard it thru my granddaughter......He came over extremely upset and said that I said..."too much" , ( he said a lot more)....and that the kids may not be able to come over any more. He will let me know. I haven't heard. I would tell of the conversation but I hate long posts. I said nothing out of line that they wouldn't want their daughter to hear....at least in my mind. I apologized and said I'm sorry and next time I will say ..."we can't talk about this. He is now afraid to let me be with his kids for FEAR I will indoctrinate them. Not only sad for me but sad for the kids. It must confuse them badly.
• 

  Sentinel

  Hi Prisca,

  Your story was very heartfelt. I believe you have felt especially upset because this is your sister, your only remaining tie to your immediate family. And, her husband was placing you in a very uneasy position.

  You seem to have a very loving and kind nature, to have actually gone to the point you did. I, on the other hand, have not read anything from JW's since leaving. Their whole message has left a very bitter taste in my soul. Like you, however, I will read actual texts from the bible, and especially words that were supposedly spoken by Jesus--just not from any WT literature. (you will notice that I've very cautious and doubtful, even to that point.)

  I'm so glad that you stood up for yourself, as these situations are so very stressful. Your neice will probably not remember what happened, but your sister will. And, your brother in law will be forced to respect your opinions.

  The problem that continues, is that these people are borg, and they only know one thing. They are programmed that way. BUT, THEY CONTINUE TO ALLOW THEMSELVES to be in the situation they are in. They cannot think for themselves, until such time as they choose to do so. It's so hard to reason with the borg.

  When I visited my mom in FL in May of last year, she had it all planned that I would attend a meeting with her. She said, it was the Sunday meeting, and the public attends those anyway, so she REALLY WANTED me to go. It really put me in a spot that I hadn't counted on. I didn't reply to her right away , but told her that I would think about it and let her know. (Of course, I knew I wasn't going in my heart. I don't care if she is my mother, and she's old, and it might have been MY LAST CHANCE.) She was very hurt when I told her I wasn't going. That I had made my break and saw no need to even visit such a place, even for her sake.

  It had to be that way for me. Just as it has to be that way for you. No turning back. No waivering, as they will pick up on that and go for hundreds of miles in their minds to get you back.

  Take care, and know you aren't alone.

  Peace and Love,

  Karen/Sentinel
• 

  blondie

  gumby, sorry to hear about your situation. Once again it is the in-law (son) that is the main objector. I would gather that your daughter has been having a struggle behind the scenes with him over your granddaughter associating with you. Even though you did not initiate the topic and tried to not pursue it AND told your daughter about it, he saw it as the way to get what he may have wanted all along, no contact between you and your granddaughter. He may feel he is justified scripturally in doing so.

  Those in-law problems persist and take on a life of their own when religiion divides.

  He may eventually calm down and the loving nature of your daughter may continue to prevail.
• 

  gumby

  Hi Blondie. Thanks for the comments. However my daughter is as mad as he is. She was told first by my wife....then the grandaughter told her dad. I think my daughter was going to tell him, but the little one beat her to it.

  I also have a 10 year old grandson who was standing nearby and heard the whole thing.
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  OUTLAW

  Hey Prisca,anyone that uses kids in blackmail is a dirtbag.I`ve seen dubs do it all the time...OUTLAW
• 

  blondie

  Sorry again, gumby. It doesn't help to say things like this go on in families that aren't JW; they just find something else to fight over. I would just apologize for not cutting the conversation short sooner, even if it would have seemed rude to your granddaughter. Her parents too have to talk to her (and your grandson) that when they visit you they should not bring up Bible topics, etc., and to understand why you will change the topic if they do.

  There are so many ways to associate and so many things to do that don't need to involve religion. She is probably just repeating what she overhears at home (which if they are saying in front of her is definitely not showing they care about their daughter).

  Actions speak louder than words.

  May all you do be successful, gumby.
• 

  DakotaRed

  Had it been me, Prisca, I would gone ahead and left. But, I am an old ornery cuss anyway.

  Like others, It saddens me to see the lengths dubs will go to coerce one back into the cult. Using an innocent child is just plain wrong!

  It's no wonder Santa is so jolly. He knows where all the bad girls live.
• 

  Navigator

  Unfortunately this sort of behavior is all too typical. I watched my wife use emotional blackmail on my six children for years. The message was "if you don't toe the JW line, mommy won't love you anymore". The kids are all grown now and mostly out of the "truth" and Mommy is paying a high price in damaged relationships with those children. When they were small, she would use the older kids to intimidate the young ones who "got out of line" (like daring to attend a bad church with Daddy). It has taken years for those relationships to heal.
• 

  ozziepost

  Prisca's experience brings to mind what happened with Mrs Ozzie and I a few days ago. We received a communication that states that we can have our children back......if we go back to the meetings at the KH !

  Anyone say blackmail?

  How different from the REAL Truth which Jesus taught was to be given FREE.

  Cheers,

  Ozzie (of the "REAL Truth"-lovers class)

  Edited by - ozziepost on 13 June 2002 4:49:16