Holidays (page 2)

LovesDubs

My JW husband gets so mad because I do the holidays and then tell him they have no religious meaning to me whatsoever. That being the case, he cant accuse me of celebrating pagan rituals either. LOL! I have three young kids, and I dragged them to meetings for their whole lives until 97. Im determined to give them as full a life as possible even if it is all by myself. We have a ball. I feel bad for my husband because I see no joy in him...gosh no joy in one of Jehovahs Happy People? No preparadasaic euphoria? Say it aint so.

Hes determined to remain a JW til he dies. My guess is his heart will break.

Loves
"My task is to bear witness to the truth. For this was I born for this I came into the world, and ALL who are not deaf to truth listen to my voice" - Jesus before Pilate, John 18:37

eyes_opened

Welcome to the board Loves!

I know what you mean about the lack of joy! When I was a JW I felt NO joy in my heart. I was simply going through the motions. Hopefully one day your hubby will be able to break out of the guilt prison that the JWs put people into. Also the joy that you and the kids feel has GOT to be contagious I would think

Eyes

conflicted

The holidays was the one thing I never had any guilt about after I left. I never thought the explanations the witnesses had were good enough to deprive ourselves of a little joy.

They also told us it was okay to buy presents and give them out on other days without reason, just not Christmas or birthdays, so gift giving is a sin on particular days and okay on others? What a crock! Decorating your house is actually a good thing and encouraged by the society, just not lights at christmas or any colors associated with worldy holidays or seasons, again I say crock!

Go ahead and celebrate - I think one of the few teachings the witnesses got right is that God's people are a happy and joyous crowd, so go out and buy those presents, have parties and love each other every day. Including christmas, birthdays, thanksgiving, st. patty's, and any other holiday you like.

RedhorseWoman

When I first became inactive, I scrupulously avoided celebrating any holidays. My husband, who was then disfellowshipped, got right into the swing of things, however.

After several years, I felt more comfortable about it, and it was fun for our daughter. It was odd, though, because I had not had a birthday celebration in such a long time that I didn't know what to do to get a party together for her. She taught me a LOT about parties. LOL

Now that she's grown and on her own, I find that the holidays don't really have much meaning for me. The time I spent as a JW certainly took all the joy out of celebrating for me....it just feels rather hollow. I'm sure that if I ever have grandchildren I'll be able to regain some of the wonder.

eyes_opened

Hey RHW,

I know what you mean. I think that it would never *feel* quite right, after being told for so long that it was wrong. Having really no memory of celebrating the holidays <my mom started studying when I was 3> I don't know if I could ever feel really comfortable celebrating most of the holidays <I never say never though :)>. As much as that makes me mad <mad at being brain-washed/indoctrinated> I think that that's true. My boys who are five now haven't really indicated their desire to celebrate anything except for their birthdays. <I'm looking forward to letting them celebrate their birthdays this coming year>
I know during christmas, the only thing my one son was upset at was that everything was closed! lol He had wanted me to get him something at the store but they were all closed.

Eyes

DannyBear

Angharad,

Christmas is now my all time favorite holiday. This year I went all out..lights all over the place, a tree, all the trimings...and hosted a big christmas day bbq. We had a slew of friends over..and just had a wonderful day...sorry jwdubs not an evil event took place the whole weekend..I know how much you would like to think so, but it just simply was exactly like you have heard...friends singing, exchanging gifts, enoying the lights of the season....sharing some love and cheer.

I was fortunate to have my wonderful lady, who knew little if anything about my former cult life...she and her family just showered me with birthday's, christmas gifts to the point I really got quite emotional about it. I was sitting there christmas morning with her family about 3yrs after leaving Jwland, and could not believe the peace and freedom from guilt and anxiety...that day. From that time on I have done everthing to make christmas each year a fond memory.

DannyBear

Thirdson

All, and LovesDubs too (welcome aboard),

We get to celebrate my son's 13th Birthday next week. We will in addition to presents and special dinner out be having a special day trip out with two friends of his and his choice of place to visit.
(Last year we did a swim and pizza party, the year before we had a housefull of 11 year olds and 3 hours of party game mayhem...never again )

I am very fortunate to be married to a never-been-a-dub and have been "taught" how to celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays etc. I never realized how much fun a family Christmas is, it came as a very pleasant surprise after the demoninzing of holidays through a JW upbringing.

THirdson

'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

TR

I took an 11 year hiatus from holidays when I became a dub. My wife used to drag the kids off to relatives for celebrations, because as a dub, I would have none of it in my house.

After leaving the WTS, I got to relive all the feelings I had when I was young. Now, I look forward to each and every holiday with my wife, kids, relatives and friends.

TR

AuSet

I think it is great that we all can have such a broad range of experiences when it comes to holidays.
I personally have "attempted" to celebrate holidays for over six years with my husband and his family. I was in and out of the truth during that time (df'd and currently reinstated).
However, I was feeling afraid to put up a christmas tree this year because I am afraid someone would come over to my house and see it! My parents and three sisters (who are still in) live less than a mile away and visit often.
My Mother just about keeled over when she found out I voted this year, the Christmas tree/lights would have been too much. Once she directly questioned my in the most hillarious way about my Nader/Laduke sign prominently displayed in my front yard. She had full knowledge that we had gone to several talks/green party conventions, but said upon seeing the sign "Dear, did someone drive by your house and put that sign on your lawn??" That was a typical witness remark if I ever heard one!!

happytobefree

I love the holidays. This past Christmas was the first xmas I openly celebrated and I love it. I had all of the lights, xmas tree, dinner, family and friends, it was beautiful.

I have always celebrated my kids birthdays, because I'm married to a non-jw. And my husband said he would not be denied the joy of seeing his kids celebrate their birthday.

But this year is the first time I'm participating in every holiday. I'm a activity parent for my son's class and I have enjoyed the classroom parties. I'm living through my children, I'm all excited about the activities and they're like ok mom - settle down, it's just a valentine - why all of the tears.

And the best part of all is enjoying the holidays without the guilt

Happy to be Free (Me)

Holidays

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