A bit of advice please

SpiceItUp

OK...
Heres the scenario:
You make plans with a "friend" on a project that will benefit you both..including something that may help you out in the long run as well.

Your "friend" screws you over in a completly different respect...but one that cannot be ignored. They show no remorse for the harm they have done either.

Do you not proceed with the prearranged project on matters of principal because they may in turn screw you on that as well not to mention you really don't care to be around them at all.....or do you take your chance that they won't and keep your deal.

What would you pick.....matter of principal or contract?

Some help please....I have this decision to make.

Prisca

I would get the unrelated issue fixed before proceeding with the original project. Explain to them how and why this other case gives you reason to doubt their integrity in the original project. Try to get some reconciliation, and then make up your mind whether to go ahead with the original project, or not.

Don't get involved with someone in any project unless you are prepared to accept the consequences of that decision.

Hmmm

It would help to have a few more details. Does either project involve money? Was the betrayal a result of insensitivity, or malice?

This is an anonymous discussion board, so if it doesn't involve personal details, it might be worth your while to give a few more clues.

You could always say it's not you involved: "I have a friend, let's call them "WaterItDown", who needs some advice..."

Hmmm

Marilyn

First of all, get your facts right. Remember how emotion can get in the way of good judgement. So be absolutely sure that your friend did this bad thing that they are unremorseful about. (why are they unremorseful?). Certainly you make this person sound a complete arsehole. I would not get involved with anyone who had proven themself unreliable or untrustworthy. You are just setting yourself up for more disappointment.

Marilyn

willy_think

What would you pick.....matter of principal or contract?

if your perspective partner has shown you a lack of principals in a previous dealing accompanied by a lack of remorse, I would look on the act as an expression of his/her morality, rather then a single incident or a laps in his/her principals. If you have reservations about committing your funds to a project involving this person, I could only say that you mustn't Comit yourself, or let your friend force you in to a situation were you can be manipulated into a contract.

Incense_and_Peppermints

Your "friend" screws you over in a completly different respect...but one that cannot be ignored. They show no remorse for the harm they have done either.

i would talk to them plainly about what happened, how i feel, ask them how they feel, why they did what they did, etc. and gauge their reaction. you can usually tell if someone's annoyed, etc. with you..

and if i didn't like the response/vibes i got, i would proceed on my own or choose a new partner and leave them out of it and tell them why. besides, if they screwed you over on something else, chances are they will do it again, and frankly i would always be waiting for the other shoe to drop.

SpiceItUp

As far as the unrealted situation goes....I have the story to some detail on this thread. It is in the fourth and largest paragraph.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=29867&site=3

The project we were going to be doing doesn't really involve money...but it does take my time and my ideas. Its really more of my ideas and creative expression that I am concerned about.

Was the betrayal a result of insensitivity, or malice?

Neither really...more of circumstantial (which could have been avoided and it was more of the inconsiderate kind.).

SpiceItUp

I should also be specific in that there is no official contract...just spoken word that we would collaborate on something.

Beck_Melbourne

SpiceItUp...a verbal contract can be just as binding as a written contract.

Personally I wouldn't waste my time on someone who isn't honourable...but it would be wise to check the legalities first.

Time is precious...and your time can be used to generate income...so it is in fact costing you money. Are you prepared to throw pearls to swine?? Me either...I'd give them the flick Spice.

Beck

PopeOfEruke

Don't get mad, get EVEN!

Proceed with the contract, then screw them half-way through it.......

Pope

A bit of advice please

Don't get mad, get EVEN!

Share this