For My Dad.

Englishman

Today, the 28 February, is 17 years since my dad died. Every year, on this day, I speak to my JW mum on the telephone, just to say Hello mum, I know this isn`t your favourite day.

Every year that passes, she tells me that, every morning on this date, when she wakes, she tells herself that today is just another day, there is nothing special about it.

Well, today I told her that today WAS special. The sun and earth were in the same place, the season was the same. She told me then that the trouble with being a JW was that you just were never allowed to grieve, and , oh, if only she could have just be left to grieve for a while.

Englishman.

Frenchy

Englishman:
My sympathy to you and your mother. My father died some 37 years ago and my mother died about seven years ago. I know what you mom means in not being allowed to grieve.
During my time as an elder (and even before) I have conducted many funerals. I always made it a point to tell the survivors from the platform that it was all right to cry. I reminded them of Jesus crying at the grave of his friend Lazarus. If he who held the keys of death and who was about to bring back his friend felt sorrow then we would have to be made of stone not to feel it also. I also reminded them of the great commotion when Jesus died. That was Jehovah's way of crying for seeing his son die. It's too bad most can't see that.

-Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

somebody

Englishman,

My sincere thoughts go out to both you and your mum today. I remember being told not to grieve too. Not to grieve for your loved ones that passed on who were JWs because you'll see them at the resurrection, and not to grieve for your relatives (whether it was mom, dad, children,brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles) who weren't JWs because you wouldn't have any memory that they ever existed. So why bother grieving? You were made to feel as if you were pitying yourself for grieving the loss of a very loved one.

You take good care of yourself and your mum!
And continue to keep your dad in your memories!

peace,
somebody

Edited by - somebody on 28 February 2001 21:0:19

Grunt

My heartfelt sympathy to both of you and to your mom, Englishman, on the loss of your loved ones.

DannyBear

Englishman,

You got to me English.

Jw hogwash even takes away from one of the most basic human needs, grieving. As a good little jw you cannot really show to much sorrow or grief...why you wouldn't be displaying confidence in the ressurection would you now.

Funerals are for the living loved ones of the deceased, not another opportunity for JW's to witness. I have had the sad occassion to attend several 'worldy funerals'(aheem) since leaving the WT, they were oh so much more a finale salute to the individual...than an extension of the Kingdom Hall public talk, that most Jw funerals turn out to be.

Ok so you can't celebrate birthdays of your loved ones. Can't celebrate or offer cheers to anyone about much of anything as a Jw. Even when it comes to death...the final parting...they won't allow you to get to involved in the remembering (grieving)for that individual loss. Drawing to much attention to man, instead of god. Oh horsepucky...their are so full of it..it ain't funny.

Saddened for all those whose lives have been deminished for following the commands of men. Sorry for your mother, and you. You are a good son Englishman. Your mother knows that for sure.

Danny

expatbrit

Englishman:

My sympathies to yourself and to your mum.

You did the right thing. I'm sure your mum appreciates it.

Expatbrit.

Edited by - Expatbrit516 on 28 February 2001 22:24:44

larc

Danny,

I remember on another thread that 40 was a bad year for you. If was tough for me as well. My father died in February. A month later my mother found out she had cancer. I found out a few months later I had a medical problem. By the time my birthday came in October, I was not, as they say, "happy camper". It was the toughest year of my life. Well, it is 20 years later and time heals, and life is looking better.

Witness Funeral Services

I wish they could understand how offensive their funeral services are to the outsider. They think they are "giving a witness" when in fact they are giving the most repugnant message possible. To them the perfect delivery should cover the following: is there a soul? is there a hell? are you going to heaven or a paradise earth? how many will go to heaven? Oh, and by the way we have a dead person here.

Am I over reacting? I don't think so.

Simon

I remember attending funerals and wondering what people must have thought about us...it sometimes seemed like it was more like a time-share sales scam - lots of people had been conned into a room under false pretences to be 'sold' something.
Very little about the person or real concern for their family.

Frenchy

Simon, I think you put it very well.

-Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

DannyBear

larc,

Reading your and Simon's comments on jw funerals, really drove home the realization that the WTBS.org....has and continues...to steal from its unsuspecting members, any chance for attaining a sense of peace (resolution) to what now (1914 generation, 1975, gone with the wind) is even more of a reality to the average Jw...the prospect of dying.

Someone posted that we should get on with our lives, not be harboring all this resentment of the Tower. Getting on with my life, means for me a clearing out of all the cob-webs and shadows the org planted in my brain.... via their cult-like, mind warping constant haranging 5 meetings a week, and various other nefarious assault tactics.

I guess instead of using the word resentment or hatred for them, a more appropriate expression would be 'passionate resolve' to rid myself of any vestiages of their abuse....and to warn any other potential victims, before they to are caught in its web.

Not to mention the side benefits of meeting people like yourselves, who add real substance to, this short but now free, life Iam enjoying.

So glad to have made your aquaintance.

Danny

For My Dad.

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