Feels good to be free

MoodyBlue

It feels great to be free. It feels great to go out with old girlfriends for beer and wings. It feels great to walk down the street and smile at people i don't know. It feels great to have NO guilt on tuesday and thursday nights. It feels great to sleep in on the weekends. It feels great to openly question whatever i want to. It feels great to talk to other people that know the release of being out of the watchtower. It feels great to live for ME.

My ex came over last night to drop off some things. It was the only time I've cried since I've left. I've felt better than ever before about my life. I can't wait to go back to school and finish my degree. I can't wait to travel. But right now, I'm enjoying just BEING, each and every day is such a gift.

The what if's a creep up still. I'm sure that's normal for a while. When I heard about the seattle earthquake yesterday, for a moment , my stomach was in knots, and the old thoughts started to flow. I'm sure it will just take time. I think a big comfort for me is knowing that things just aren't black and white like the WT sees them. Knowing I am free to question that makes a huge difference.

Anyway, does anyone else find themselves looking at how glorious the world really is, and feeling glad for your place in it?? Though there are bad times, all in all, isn't it pretty damn good to be alive?

eyes_opened

Moody,

{{{hugs!!!}}} You go girl! You sound like you are doing great. And I agree that it is indeed wonderful to be alive. As a JW there's no time to enjoy just *being* We were always told that what is now is just passing and all we do is in preperation for our *eternal future*
I know what you mean about the earthquakes thing...I do the same thing when I hear about a new one. It's like a knee jerk reaction after being indoctrinated for so many years. Hopefully this too is one of those things that will pass the longer we are away

You keep up the good work and best of luck to you moody

Eyes

manicmama

My sentiments exactly! I also greatly enjoy celebrating my childrens birthdays! Their births brought me and my husband great joy and I never did understand even as a small child why this was such a big deal, except that money could go into the contribution box!

manicmama

Latte

Moodyblue,

DITTO

I have to hold myself back from telling my still JW friends, just how FREE and HAPPY I feel a lot of the time.......my world is suppose to be falling apart YEH? hehehehhehe

So glad for you!

Latte

TR

Good for you!

You are now even free to help others out anyway you want without WTS restrictions. Or, take time for yourself. It totally up to you. Your sharing the thought on this forum is already helping many others you don't even know about!

TR

conflicted

Good for you moody, I still feel some of the constricting and debilitating indoctrination by the WTS - but I'm working through it. It sounds to me that you have a good start :D I find that I frequent this board MOSTLY to hear how good poeple are doing after leaving - it's not all gloom and doom that was drilled into us for all those years. I have just recently learned that the best way to overcome what we all go through when leaving is to LIVE, and you are, so again I say "Good for you".

sincerely,

(no longer) conflicted

RedhorseWoman

Moody, it's great to read your posts now. You've come such a long way in such a short time.

Yes, the freedom to live is a precious gift. Life may not always be pleasant, but at least we are now actively involved in living rather than waiting for life to begin after some nebulous war.

One of the most wonderful things about being free is that I can now become involved in life rather than waiting on the sidelines for "Jehovah to take care of it". If I see something that bothers me about my world, I can finally take steps to help correct it.

paulvarjak

I disassociated in the fall of last year with an extreme amount of conflict. Luckily (I enjoy that word), a friend invited me to Thanksgiving at her home with her family. It was good to enjoy the 'holiday' with her friends and family and allowed me to see that there was nothing wrong or evil. I decided to pour myself into things that felt conflicted over (Christmas, my birthday, co-workers birthdays, etc.). It was very liberating and put to rest alot of the good vs. bad, right vs. wrong inner turmoil. Being raised a JW, I now look forward to holidays like a 6-year-old child!

larc

Moody,

It was wonderful to see your new post and the new you. By the way, I think you should change your name from "Moody Blue" to "I Ain't Blue or Moody Any More, and I'm Darn Happy About That."

waiting

hey larc,

"I Ain't Blue or Moody Any More, and I'm Darn Happy About That."

You professors. Just can't get the hang of slang.

"I Ain't Blue or Moody No More, and I'm darned Happy 'Bout That."

Gotcha.

hey Blue No More

Glad to hear that the sun's comin' your way. Congratulations.

waiting

Edited by - waiting on 1 March 2001 17:56:49

Feels good to be free

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