Support forum for those abused in WTS (page 2)

My s-i-l, yet another lawyer - called me today wanting to know why I turned the accident over to my insurance carrier. "Because the laywer YOU assigned to me told me to." "Welllllllllll, you should have talked to me first." love the way they imply it's my damned fault to follow their advice.

Personally, I'm tired of lawyers, etc. I only like them when I need them, btw. Ain't that a typical statement!

As to memory.............he asked me "Did you really not see the other driver - or don't you remember seeing the other driver?" I said that my first statement to Allstate "I didn't see the other driver was accurate to my way of thinking.....but incomplete." I have no recollection of anything shortly before & after accident. Did I just black out during that time? Doubtful as it's never happened before. It's just not there - at least, that's my gut feeling. Perhaps regainable, perhaps who cares?

I told him the last thing I remembered. Interestingly enough, if one remembers a tad of something, usually something else associates itself with it. Such as "I remember that man.....and then it seems to be normal to remember something else relating to the original speck of memory, ie: race, clothes, car, etc.

I think what fascinated me was there was nothing in memory - nada, zip. Perhaps it's there, perhaps it's just gone - along with the memory of seeing the store next to her truck, the gas tanks etc. Just a little void. The surgeon said that a combined impact of between 80/90 mph would imply a normal short time of amnesia - and a couple of seconds/minutes wasn't a long time.

Now THAT'S a new experience with memory. Perhaps one I'll end up literally paying for. *sigh*

waiting

Btw, this is my long winded, irritated at lawyers, bttt.

Lady Lee

As far as I know there is no time limit for the amnesia. Memory is so individual for each person and situation.

What we do know about traumatic memory is that it is not stored the same way as normal memory. Let's say for example that you did see her coming even for a second. The only thing your mind has time to do is prepare - if that. The mind will automatically go into the flight or fight response and if neither of those options are available it will take the next step and "play dead". At this point you are in trauma mode. This doesn't take a long time - blink of the eye - I doubt anyone could measure this. But once in trauma mode your thinking is different. Time is distorted. Things may seem faster or slower. And the memories gets encoded into the brain in a variety of different ways depending on what is important at that particular moment.

What we do know is that once in trauma mode the easiest way to regain the memory is to be in a similar emotional state. I think this is becuase once in trauma mode you are in a heightened emotional state. Accessing this state can allow the memory to surface. The down side of this is who really wants to be retraumatized just to recall something terrible.

Some things are better left alone unless there is a really important reason to know.

BTW Contrary to popular myth hypnosis is not the way to access these memories and if a memory did surface during hypnosis few courts would accept it

* my bttt*

Lady Lee

For those of you who have gone in to take a look at the website please feel free to post questions or comments. Let me know if there is something you would like to discuss or a topic on something. I will see what I can do

bttt

waiting

Hey Lee,

Well, ain't you just full of useful information! Thank you! I am printing this out btw, for my own benefit because I've found that in Real Life - lawyers, surgeons, adjusters, etc., just don't want (or know) how to explain this stuff............and one can be screwed quite easily. Thus bringing new meaning to the saying " hindsight is 20/20."

I appreciate your information - and it does help.

"Let's say for example that you did see her coming even for a second. The only thing your mind has time to do is prepare - if that. The mind will automatically go into the flight or fight response and if neither of those options are available it will take the next step and "play dead". At this point you are in trauma mode. This doesn't take a long time - blink of the eye." -lee

That's just so interesting! Of course, my husband has another theory: "You don't think that fast." As for the second of time speaking about - he asked me how long it would take to travel a distance of 8/10 feet at combined 80/90 mph (me going forward in my lane - her crossing from her lane to mine). Like I'd know that. Then he just told me to stop saying the word "second" as I had no concept of speed/time/distance ratio. Love old dirt bike racers/mechanics/Harley riders - a gift for the obvious.

waiting -

Edited by - waiting on 18 June 2002 17:3:3

Edited by - waiting on 18 June 2002 17:4:23

Lady Lee

methinks your hubby is right. We don't think that fast at least not consciously. Givent he speed you were going and the way she rammed you it's amazing you walked away unharmed - good thing you had a good car - stupid woman.

I always try to keep a good distance between me and the next car. My hubby is a tail-gater. groan

He scares the crap out of me because I am always thinking that there might be an idiot out there who will slam on their breaks or swerve at the last minute. I want time to stop. But in some cases when someone else makes a poor choice there is just nothing we can do

(HUGS) and hope you are doing OK

Lady Lee

Waiting I was doing some research yesterday and was going over some material on trauma and memory and I think I found some documentation that supports the idea that you would not know what had happened just before the accident. I don't have time now but will get it to you asap

BTW. A few people have requested access to the dicussion forum. Some have gone in and not posted. Not a problem but any ideas on what to do to get it started? I have started a few discussions but I think some of the shyier folks don't want to be first

waiting

Hey Lee,

Well, I don't know about you, but I've always been shy about responding - Actually, that's true, but I got over it by mid 20's. Came & went in phases, perhaps nerves?

ANYWAY! Thank you so much for the offer of some information on accident memory trauma - as I've never had that - it was a new feeling. If I didn't have my background & didn't just read about how memory works (in general), I might not have even noticed. And if shitty Allstate hadn't recorded my now historically known stupid answer.

Would be quite interested. I've been to your site, as you've noticed, and found it really easy to get around in. I hope some others join us - not that there's anything wrong with your company - but some others would be nice too, don't you think? And I am using my motherly j o k i n g attitude.

waiting

Lady Lee

Oh gosh waiting I sure was glad you came in but I have two other discussion forum one for wives who were abused and one for those abused a children. I hear myself echo in the rooms theretherethereereereere

Lady Lee

bttt

Support forum for those abused in WTS

Share this