a Barbara G. Harrison story

by Nathan Natas 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Besides "VISIONS OF GLORY," among Barbara Grizzuti Harrison's published books is "AN ACCIDENTAL AUTOBIOGRAPHY." On pages 92 through 95 she relates a little story of her mother.

    - - - begin quote - - -
    Her religion had delivered her from the fate she feared: she was no longer a cipher. She no longer bore any resemblance to her own mother. She had escaped the claustrophobia of Main Street and the activities she found idiotic for the glories of a theocracy.

    But - oh my poor mother! - this road was not safe for her either. All roads led, for her; to the home of her hoarded sorrow and her contained rage. Her beauty and her fervor and the haze of martyrdom that surrounded her made at least one man mad. And he placed her in profound danger (no net). This is what happened:

    It is evening in Brooklyn (there is honeysuckie in the air; and a light fog rolling in from the ocean), and I am going from door to door with Chas, whose dynamism has made him the object of many girls' desire. He is a young man with blunt features, a blunt manner, flying hair; and a bullish passion for proselytizing equal to my mother's own vampish/vampira passion; her enticing passion runs parallel with and at last crazily headlong into his virile passion. Chas had recently been released from prison, where, as a "minister;" he had spent the duration of World War II, an incarceration that seemed glamorous and dazzled gaggles of girls. In a moment of silliness (it was hard to be a pretend grown-up all the time) I asked him who, of all the girls, he "liked." "Don't ask me that, it's too painful," he said. (I was
    used to people's emotions being painful; emotions didn't seem to be good
    for anything but pain.) No alarm bells went off in my head, for in spite of the fact that I was unnaturally good and serious, I was a child.

    One night soon after; at dinner; very calmly under the circumstances, Daddy says to Mother - in Italian dialect, which I am not expected to understand, but which I do - that his mother saw Chas and my mother walking mano a mano, hand in hand, on Sixty-sixth Street, where the two were preaching door to door. An intake of breath. Mine? Hers? I do not remember what she said, if she said anything at all. I was suspended in his terrifying calm. I remember a laugh, I don't remember whose. Not mine. (Mrs. Rochester's laugh.) I believe it was soon after this that he tried to kill me, I was insufficient to his needs. Whatever happened around that table (about which I am quasi-amnesiac), seemed in some odd way to release them both to act out their
    cherished fantasies. (He tried to kill me.) Soon Chas appeared in our sunny kitchen almost every day when Daddy was at work. He knelt at her feet and polished her toenails red. They studied the Bible together; their heads and hands touching. Sometimes they danced; she was surprisingly clumsy, she danced with grim flat-footed determination as if dancing were something over which to gain dominion and control. (She hated it that I danced; and when I danced in the kitchen with a girlfriend she insisted I scrub the floor with bleach, to remove the skid marks our heels made. . . . I love to dance still; I dance well.)

    Chas said to me, "I am your real father. You must obey me." My response to this was to give my brother a vicious pinch and to exercise a kind of tyranny over the little boy.

    He followed behind me on the way to school, poor little boy, his crayons and pencils dribbling from his clutch, his orthopedically shod feet making heavy weather of it. I sprinted ahead, at school I was a star; I disregarded my little brother (storing up guilt).

    I hated Chas.

    When I approached the thought of the danger my mother had placed herself in, I swooned; the world fell away from me. I did not know how to guarantee her safety; I sensed, through a scrim of inarticulate denial, that her peril jeopardized whatever security I had.

    I hated my father.

    One day I found, in the book bag that my mother carried her Watch Tower literature in, the Bible she and Chas consulted. There was a long letter from Chas in it, which I read. It was a doctrinal thesis: They were
    married in fact and in the eyes of God if not in law, he wrote (citing
    Scripture to prove his arcane point); they were affianced - which was
    tantamount to marriage; and their marriage would be fully consummated after Armageddon, after birds had plucked the eyes from my father's ruined body. In the meantime, they would spiritually love... and love... and love. And hold hands.

    (continued next message)

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    (part 2)

    I ask you to believe that I wanted to protect her. I had no one else
    to protect me. I wanted to protect myself.

    I told Diana's sister Olga about the letter I had found, it burned a hole in my mind. I don't know why I chose Olga, who was eight years my senior. Perhaps she invited confidence. She "liked" Chas. And my father hated her - he hated her because she was such a small woman (it seemed at the time a strange reason to dislike a woman), "small as a kid," he said, his hands trembling. (His hands trembled when he spoke of Teddy, too. Teddy was a polio-crippled, deformed young woman, also slight - my height and size - who was entertaining the idea of marriage: "Who would marry her? Why? Bastard," he would rage at dinner; the point of his disapproval lost on me.)

    Just before he died, my father raised his scrawny frame from the bed where he watched shadows collecting in the corners and he said, "But who is that other guy? The guy that looks just like me, since I was born - the guy that does terrible things? The guy that did terrible things all my life." "You never did terrible things, Daddy," I said. Then he said, "Don't trust Barbara, she lies."

    It was a relief to have told Olga. It did not occur to me that I was being
    disloyal. I wanted with all my heart to save the woman who had sacrificed me to unhealthy appetites and unhappy days; I loved her.

    Weeks passed. My mother was summoned to the house of another Witness woman, who gave her to understand that the matter was grave. Witnesses lived in those days (as I did for years thereafter) with the threat of disfellowshiping - excommunication - controlling our thoughts, blanketing our doubts, informing every action; every questionable word or deed was reported. I felt a premonition of disaster, fear for her; my maternal love for her aroused. Late at night my mother returned from her call. I leaned over the banister and called out "Mommy, Mommy, what did she say, are you all right?" My mother said, her words black with bile, "She asked me if I trusted my children. She asked me if I trusted you." It had happened. I had fallen off the face of the world. "Olga told her about the letter." She said
    this to me without looking at me. I don't think she ever again looked me
    straight in the eyes. She smiled, a twisted smile of justification that
    seemed to say, "I have been right all along. The world - my own daughter -
    exists to harm me."

    Chas never came to our house again. I think the woman who issued the summons must not have reported my mother to the overseers: I think she used her knowledge to torment my mother; for whom Chas's departure was not the end of trouble. Her beauty - and her record number of conversions to "the Truth" - maddened women, too, but not as they had maddened him.

    They reported her for overstepping herself, for volunteering too many answers at Kingdom Hall meetings, for vanity and pride. She endured this calumny with silent suffering, until her season of condemnation passed. I understood nothing. I practiced my faith ever more zealously . . . and lived a parallel life: I was in love with my English teacher; Arnold Horowitz, I dreamed of converting him... and alternately of dying wlth him at
    Armageddon.

    She hated Arnold Horowitz.

    (He belongs later in this story; and in any case, my mind and my emotions skitter: I am feeling so crowded with love and pain and an ancient bewilderment I cannot write of it now.)

    Why, when I asked her to forgive me - before her liver burst and her blue eyes closed for the last time - could she not have said yes. "If I had another life to live, I would not punish you for the doilies again." I kissed her spongy cheek. But her flesh had long since become morbidly repugnant to me, as intolerable as the touch of a succubus. It is also true that I loved her.

    I had thought, until now, that she was very very dead. She is not. The
    love and the pain are alive inside of me - she remains. My Mother.

    - - - end of quoted section - - -

  • joeshmoe
    joeshmoe

    Nathan,

    I'm going to have to display some ignorance here (my natural state anyway) and ask who, exactly this Barbara Harrison is. This seems extremely interesting. Does she have a website or anywhere that more excerpts can be read?

    Thanks (and sorry if this is a terribly ignorant post).

  • TD
    TD

    Barbara Grizzuti Harrison, was a very talented writer, former (50's era) proof-reader at Bethel and author of the book Visions of Glory: a History and a Memory of Jehovah's Witnesses. The book has recently become available online I believe.

    Tom

  • joeshmoe
    joeshmoe

    Thanks Tom!

    Anyone know where online? (at some point, I'm gonna have to get less lazy and find things out for myself...let me check...nope, not there yet)

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    joeschmoe,

    Barbara Harrison passed away several weeks ago with pulminary complications. I had the pleasure to speak with her a few weeks before she died.

    She was a lady's lady and extremely articulate and brilliant. She was also the first woman to write about Bethel life from a woman's point of view in her book "Visions of Glory."

    Farkel

  • joeshmoe
    joeshmoe

    Sounds like a wonderful, brave woman. I'm sure it was a privilege for you to have known her Farkel. I feel like a real dolt having never even heard of her before now. I'm quickly amassing a nice library of "apostate" books! Looks like she's next on the list!

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Hey Joe,

    No problemo. As TD indicated, Barbara, who died on April 25th at age 67, was one of the first XJW authors who reached a mass audience as well as the secret of audience of wavering JWs when "Visions of Glory" was published in 1978. Barbara left the WTS in 1958, if I recall correctly, and got a life and an education, then came back to throw a life-preserver to brothers and sisters she never met.

    Barbara gave Randy Watters permission to publish "Visions of Glory" on line where I expect it will be enjoyed by the current "generation" of soon to be X JWs.

    You can read it for free here: http://www.exjws.net/vg.htm

    oh, by the way, true story - I was having an on-line discussion with an active JW only two weeks ago when he told me he suspected he knew who I was and began calling me "Barbara." I took it as both a compliment and a great joke. Barbara didn't like Nathan Knorr very much at all, you see.

    Edited by - Nathan Natas on 16 June 2002 17:53:47

  • joeshmoe
    joeshmoe

    Wahooo! Thanks Barb .. er Nathan! I'm putting a pot of coffee on and clicking over there right now. Thanks all!

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    I had to look up cipher:

    one that has no weight, worth, or influence : NONENTITY

    Interesting word choice. This lady was a hell of a writer! Those quacks at Crooklyn only wish they could write so well. I'm anxious to read Visions of Glory.

    I can relate to her mother's 'beauty, fervor, and haze of martyrdom' driving men mad. I almost lost my marbles completely over a very beautiful and devout sister who was 20 years my senior. She was a man-killer if ever there was.

    Edited by - dantheman on 16 June 2002 19:8:32

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