"What is your ultimate goal?"

SEAKEN2001

I follow the threads on legal questions with interest because somewhere inside me is this voice yelling at me to get back at those bastards that lied to me and my family and all the other good people I have come to know here and abroad. I too carry a lot of anger with me from my experience as a Witness.

However, another poster raised the question "What is your ultimate goal?" For me, I am not so interested in seeing the WTS crumble nor do I really think they ever will. But, I would like to see them exposed as no different than any other religion or cult that presumes to speak for God. Like all of the rest, God is not involved. The problem is, even should that take place to my satisfaction there is absolutely no way I can change the mind of my wife so that she will realize that all that I have been saying about the subject is in fact true. So, what is my ultimate goal? To change my wifes mind.

This is causing me conflict because I know, in my mind at least, that I cannot change her mind. No matter what I say or do she will think what she wants to think. I am having a problem dealing with that. For so many years I have felt so strongly about being of "one mind" and "one flesh" that this difference of opinion is threatening my happiness. I am a fairly logical person and I can reason with myself and tell myself what I know but after more than two years I still struggle with this feeling of distrust that I have for my wife, whom I know is just brainwashed and under the control of the WTS. I know she is being abused by a cult but I can't help but get mad at her and sometimes I get so angry inside that I feel like I can't wait anymore and need to leave her and find someone else who will respond to me.

I need to change my goal and focus on something else, like community leadership or something. I need to be involved with someone or something that will challenge me and respond to my need for intellectual stimulation and growth. If I continue to just remain silent just to keep the peace I am going to go berserk! (Don't worry - I am not the type of person to go shoot up McDonalds!) I'm just afraid to lose all that I have. I have cultivated a relationship with my wife and her family and am deeply involved in the family business and there are many more chances at future financial security in this situation than there is on my own. My net worth is below zero. I have absolutely no resources of my own other than what I carry inside myself. I am not so confident as I once was that I can accomplish whatever I want. I have so much invested in this marriage and this life. Besides, I really like my wife. I don't want to blow it. I just need some help dealing with this WT mindset that continues to have me in it's grip, and with the fear I have of losing what I have if I do what I want to do in full view of the WTS. This is what makes me so angry! I know I will be all right if I just move on and do what I want but I keep holding back out of fear. Fear that comes from the power of the WTS over my wife and her family, indeed, over me. I have been thinking about consulting with a therapist just so I can relieve my fears. I need help in changing my focus and taking on a new "ultimate goal". The one I have is killing me.

Sean

Edited by - seaken2001 on 17 June 2002 14:48:48

SpiceItUp

I want...no better make it...NEED...Closure.

When that will come I have no idea...its really hard to achieve closure when the rest of your family is happily involved.

Spice

DakotaRed

Actually, I was content to just fade away and forget I was ever involved with them. But, even after I DA'd myself, the influence in my house didn't stop, nor did the harrassment. So, now I speak out against them. My marriage wasn't all that good to begin with, but they sure helped finish it off. And since, some have encouraged her to take me to the cleaners. Nice Christian attitude, huh?

I doubt they will really fall, but I just wish for those that can to wake up and see how they are being controlled. Russell must rolling over in his grave to find out what happened to what he started.

So, my goal is to just share my experiences with all I can and help others to see the fallacy of what the Watchtower really is.

teenyuck

My goal is to get my mother out. I would like her to try and live a little. After reading Franz' book, I don't think it will be possible.

He points out that some people want to be told what to do and feel that they only can have a connection with god through an organization...whether it be JW, Catholic, etc.

I think my mom is in that boat. No hope. Her leaving all the comforts of friends etc. would be too hard. And being told what to think...that is the ultimate thing people give up by joining a borg like the dubs. It is hard to make your own decisions and much easier to believe that you will be one of the saved/heaven bound/whatever.

Seaken, is your wife's family JW? If you are out, as in DF or DA, you might have a harder time with the family business.

gsx1138

I would really like to get my mother out of the borg but sometimes I get so discouraged. I have a friend who is in now thanks to my help (my greatest shame). My goal is to try and erase the memory of the WTS. Time will erase the WTS but it moves too damn slow sometimes.

D8TA

To be the pain in their ass.

D8TA

MrMoe

Good post.

Since I am "over it" I don't have a goal. Don't care to discuss it much. Got closure a while back, don't have anybody I want to "get out" because that is something they must do on their own and I don't harbor any grudges. I post here because my friends are here, pure and simple.

Do I want Justice? Yes, of course I do. Will it happen? Probably not on the large scale I wish it to be on. Would I tear down the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society if I could? Of course I would, but I cannot. I suppose I could help more by posting on some of the more constructive threads, but I simply am so tired of hearing about it all. It is a chapter of my life that has come to a close, why continue to rehash it all? Anyhow, that is what Amazing and AlanF and the others are here for...

Kisses,

Moe

Mulan

Sean, be patient with her. I never thought you would come around either............or your mother, for that matter. And you both did. She will see something someday, that will 'ring a bell'. In the meantime, don't hesitate to point things out to her that aren't quite right. Leave things laying around, that you would like her to check out..............especially when you aren't at home. I doubt she would look at anything while you are home.

Something that has gotten to my mother recently is that suicide at the Woodinville KH. She was so angry about that, and the injustice of it. And Sabine's daughter's suicide. Sabine and Mak are new friends of ours, that you can meet the next time you are here. Those are both terrible things that make Mom wonder. I have no delusions about her leaving the Borg, but she at least is critical now, and never was before. She always had that "wait on Jehovah" thing going on.

Tell L. that since Mom moved in with us, no one comes to visit her anymore, and she has been a loyal sister for 52 years. That still just makes my blood boil. No one has been here for a month, and only one sister came to see her one time, while we were gone for 10 days! I asked the PO to ask people to check on her while we were gone and no one even called her for 10 days, not even him! They just make me sick!! Anyway, tell her about that, and then drop the ball in her court, to see what she says to that.

Personally, I think you have too much of yourself invested in that family, to just get out of it. I know you love her, and she is worth loving. Your brother...............I might give different advice to.

Forgot to say my goal. I would LOVE to have the entire family out, meaning you (SEAKEN) and your wife, your brother and his family, and your grandma and Uncle (your cousins are all pretty much out but he just thinks they are weak..........the middle one goes to keep him happy, but isn't baptized). I want to be here for anyone who needs to tell their story, and help them if they need any assistance I can give them.

Connecting with others like us, has been the best therapy I can imagine, so I want to help others too, like i was helped.

Edited by - mulan on 17 June 2002 16:4:25

SEAKEN2001

Yes, my wife's family are JW's, with the exception of her father who is an unbelieving husband. He understands the difficulty I am in but he does not know what the WTS is really like. He resists the idea that they are a cult but otherwise believes that I have made an informed decision.

Yes, Puffs, this is one of the difficulties I am having. I really want to stay involved in the business and help manage it into the future. But since my MIL, wife, and her sisters and their husbands are all loyal dubs I am afraid of what may happen if I am DF'd. Also, all the employees are dubs (I had nothing to do with that. I plan on changing that statistic and my FIL is in agreement with me) so that may also cause some problems. I have to decide if it is worth the risk to my business relationship, as well as my family relationships, if I get DF'd. Actually, I can deal with the family problems better than the possibiltity that I could lose my business contacts and have to start over.

Bottom line. I have decided I am no longer going to deliberately remain silent to avoid action by the dubs. I am moving on with my life and whatever happens will happen. It is a little scary and I am afraid of what might result from the actions of those bastards who think they are God's right-hand men. But I'm tired of hiding in fear. I was hoping my wife would have come around by now and that has been bothering me of late. I hope nothing happens but I'm just not going to hide anymore.

My e-mail is now open and my real name is in my profile. I would like to meet up with anyone in the Mid-Hudson Valley area for lunch or a movie. Maybe we can have our own "apostofest" some day.

Hey, D8TA, I think you'll achieve your goal!

Mr Moe., I hear ya. I'd like to close that chapter but my wife is still very important to me and I'm not ready to close it. I plan on sticking with her even if the worst happens and her family ends up shunning me and I lose my interest in the family business. We'll see what happens.

Sean

Mulan

Sean, you should come here August 3, for Rachel's apostofest. It is growing by the day.

"What is your ultimate goal?"

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