by Overseer 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
RR-->Yes God wants you to be happy. However, Jehovah's Witnesses do not approve of "outsiders." They are afraid you will steal her away from not only the religion but from serving God.>>
Howdy, RR!! What's happening? Good to see you again. God Bless!
Overseer,
First I agree with Dungbeetle and forget about her for the time being. She will not get disfellowshipped for seeing you or marrying you for that matter, but she can be put under public reproof where priviledges such as commenting and having parts in the Ministry School might be taken away. Is she ready to deal with that?
Also she is only 17. Let me say that a 17 year old does not know what she wants. She might say she loves you but she is also torn between you and trying to please her family and her religion. Until she is determined in her mind to make a solid decision towards the relationship it is only going to be filled with anguish and frustration. Right now she is too young as well as yourself to have to deal with such issues. Leave it alone and move on and chalk it up as a learning experience. Trust me, I have seen this tooooo many times before.
Wow this all sounds so odd to me. I have friends who are Jehovas Witnesses and study with them myself and have never been confronted with such problems. I have never been told that a person would be shunned for associating with those who are not JWs as a matter of fact I got the impression that they sort of had to associate with non-JWs in hopes that maybe others will become Witnesses too. Maybe Witnesseas are different in different areas or maybe I have just been lucky enough to run into those who really care about people and God.
Overseer, Why do you ask the question again, as to why her parents won't accept you. I spelled it out for you very simply and clearly. Others have elaborated, so why do you ask a second time? Are you so blinded by love that do not want to accept what we say? That is likely.
Overseer,
You are experiencing the JW Borg first hand. It is a very sad thing, but this is exactly how they work. Family ties are very strong within the borg.
When I began "rebelling slightly" when I was in my early 20's, I met a young man. I would see him against my mother's wishes. My father didn't care one way or the other, as he was not a JW, and was not interesting in me anyway. We had fun together. We talked for hours. We liked the same things and had similar interests. We grew to love each other. I kept saying "no" to him, but it was really difficult. Yet, the training of the JW's warned so strongly against fornication, and that no good can come of it.
It is difficult for the young to "hear" these kinds of things. We are entering a phase of our life where we feel we are old enough to make our own decisions. In hindsite, I think that being "kept" apart from the natural inclinations of youth for so long, made me so nieve as to how I handled myself.
My younger sister had already been df'd and my mother kept on me all the time about how this boy would use me and discard me. She could find no good thing about him. He was not even allowed in our house, unless my dad was there, and then I knew it was alright to bring him in. Instead of handling the situation carefully and with love, she made severe judgments and pushed me further away. She would boil knowing that I would do this in front of her like that. But, her constant accusations were so unfounded. As time went by, I simply "did what she was accusing me of". Instead of showing me loving concern, she promptly kicked me out of the house. I was also df'd for confessing on my own of the one act of fornication. Wow, you would have thought the world ended!
She knew that I had been a very good daughter, and I had always been innocent. She knew that I had many questions about the bible that JW's had been unable to answer. She knew that I had worked part-time so I could Pioneer. But, it was never enough. I could never do enough, and I grew to become very angry at what was happening to my life.
I ended up moving in with the boy's parents. I had no where else to go. No one to turn to. But this young man stood his ground against my family and his own, in defense of our love and our marriage, and the birth of our son.
He is gone. He took his own life. But, I often think of his loyalty to me in those days when my life was on the line. When he was the only person showing me any kindness or help.
You are young, and so is your girlfriend. She is under the roof of her parents which means she must abide by their rules as given by the JW borg. If you really care for her, give her enough space to work this out. She may decide to leave on her own if she has some support from other members of her family. These are the toughest years of youth, because those raging hormones, and the desire to know everything is very, very strong.
You have to live with yourself and so does she. Both of you need to go slow and make certain you don't damage each other in the process of finding your way. My first husband became damaged. He couldn't handle all the responsibilities of marriage. He turned to alcohol and drugs. He simply felt he couldn't live in this world any longer. I am so very sad that he had to take his own life, but he saw no other way out.
Life is meant to be lived with great joy. But, we must be mature enough to handle the responsiblities and choices we make along the way. If we don't, these become heavy weights on your shoulder, that take years and years to get rid of, if one ever does.
I'll be thinking of you....
Karen/Sentinel
