um... help please from any medical types

by lauralisa 20 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • teejay
    teejay

    Laura.

    What are you thinking?

    Faking pee (or trying) to an insurance company and asking about it online?

    Are you serious? Surely not.

  • LDH
    LDH

    Laura,

    I worked in the insurance industry for years, sales included.

    1. If you are having trouble making ends meet right now, what will happen if your husband dies with no insurance?!?!?!

    2. Clean pee? Are you serious? What if that person has something undetectible to the naked eye like protein in the urine? Or worse, prescription meds that they haven't told you about. Like something for a heart condition. South was right. If that pee does not come back sparkling like champagne you will be reported to the MIB.

    3. Your medical records will be pulled from your primary care physician. If your husband has been honest with his physician, and told him he's a smoker or a recreation pot smoker or something, your ass is grass.

    4. Why should your husband, a smoker, get to pay the same premium as someone who doesn't smoke? Did you know that if you lie and falsify the application and your husband dies, the ENTIRE insurance policy can be disputed during the "contestible period." Is it worth it?

    5. Why not do the honorable thing.

    a. Pay the extra premium

    b. QUIT SMOKING

    c. Wait two years, contact your insurer and ask to be re-rated to a non-smoker. They will give you the piss test again, etc. Hopefully you're going with a quality insurer, one of the Top Guns not "Rob's and Bob's Don't Kick the Bucket Policy." A Quality Insurer will re-rate you.

    In your favor, you asked our opinion. JWs not exactly known as being bastions of good judgement, LOL.

    Lisa

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa

    Thank you all for the information provided; I'm a lot more clear on the issue now. No fake pee.

    The morality lessons are also just SO helpful as well!!! I'm ALL ABOUT fraud, addiction, and getting stuff I don't want to pay for.

    Teejay, ok. (You got me back.) Why am I asking this question on this board? Because I don't know anyone else to ask. Because I'm desperate. I have tried to hold myself to the highest standards of honesty and integrity my whole life; as a jw, of course those standards became even more stringent, but I've not tossed integrity in the two years I've been out.

    What HAS changed for me since my experience as a witness is THIS: 14 years of adhering to cult behavior cost me my family, all of my lifetime friends, and affected my judgment when I got divorced. (Jehovah will provide! The end is JUST AROUND THE CORNER!!!) I am 45 years old, have no assets whatsoever, am at the peak of my earning capacity in my chosen profession, but I can not afford to support myself.

    Of course, now that I'm "out" of the cult, any friends I DID have at the hall wouldn't pee on me if I was on fire (sorry. Couldn't help that one). My mother disowned me when I became a witness, and my millionaire pedophile father lives in luxury enjoying the company of any remaining blood relatives I have; they think hideous things about me because they believe the crap the pedophile says to justify why I won't allow him to see his grandchildren, why two of his children have committed suicide, AND because they want to inherit his stupid money.

    I've moved recently 1300 miles away from the few friends I had started becoming close to after leaving the borg to stay with the one person who shows any personal compassion or concern for me. He was unemployed for nine months. He got a job here. I love him. We are trying to avoid bankruptcy right now.

    Lisa, you asked: "What will happen if your husband dies with no insurance?" Well... he asked me to marry him six months ago. I've assumed $15,000 of his personal debt. (I had no personal debt and a fabulous credit rating.) I am furiously trying to rehabilitate his defaulted school loans so they can be consolidated and kept in his name only so I won't have to be responsible for THEM - an inconceivably large amount of money after the penalties and fees and interest and .... whatever. If something happens to him I'm HOSED financially, so it makes sense that he acquire life insurance before we get married. We can't afford it, but we'll eat ketchup sandwiches, etc.

    Hence, the stupid question, posted on this discussion board, because I actually thought I'd get some useful feedback (I did.) I am scared, alone, without resources, and clueless about stuff like this. I am watching myself drown. I am tired. I'm not bitter that some people can go to the dentist, have clothes that are not second hand, and have support from loved ones when they feel hurt. I AM so raw, though, and even a well-meant but critical comment from someone on this board hurts so much that I can barely dredge up the courage to post anything anymore.

    Have a great day.

  • Wendy
    Wendy

    (((((((((((((laura)))))))))))))))))

    I tried calling you the other day, I got the machine. Give me a call honey, I have been worried about ya

    Teejay,

    You are the person to determine what is a good thing to post on a public DB? Did you forgot your major blunder? lol

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=30725&site=3

    wendy

  • sf
    sf

    {{{{{{{HUGS LAURA}}}}}}}

    I saw you pop into yahoo yesterday, sorry i missed ya. I was in a huge search mode.

    If ya need to chat, just BUZZZZZ me babe.

    Love, sKally

  • Southland
    Southland

    Laura,

    It makes me (and others) feel bad to see someone in dire straights ... I really hope that things improve soon for you and your fiance. Continue to trust in yourself and listen to your own instincts on what you need to do.

    I don't know what your fiance is looking at for insurance, but I went to one of the popular web sites to look up insurance premiums for a 10-year $50,000 term policy. Since I don't know the specifics of your fiance, I made some assumptions:

    1) Your fiance can answer "No" to these questions:

    Have you been diagnosed with or treated for any of the following within the past three years: heart disease, chronic circulatory, respiratory (except asthma), kidney or liver disease, epilepsy, stroke, or cancer (other than basal-cell skin cancer)?

    Have you had 3 or more moving traffic violations within the past 3 years?

    Have you been convicted of a DUI/DWI within the last 7 years?

    To your knowledge, have your parents, brothers or sisters had cancer, heart disease or diabetes prior to age 60?

    Have you been diagnosed with Arthritis, Asthma (moderate or severe), depression (in past two years), elevated cholesterol, gastic/peptic ulcers (in two years), hypertension (high blood pressure)?

    2) He's 45 years old, living in Ohio (just an assumption, I don't know where you live), is 5'10" tall, and weighs 170 lbs.

    3) You wish to pay premiums quarterly (vs. once a month, twice a year, or yearly).

    4) Normal blood pressure and cholesterol levels

    The premium amount would be $240/year payable as $60/quarter. Or you could pay $20/month by automatic debit.

    Obviously this is based on the assumptions I made. If you want to provide more specifics, I can get you an more accurate quote.

    Just don't buy whole life or universal life. If you are struggling to make ends meet, you don't want the investment component of life insurance.

    Edited by - Southland on 25 June 2002 16:8:18

  • LDH
    LDH

    Laura, you don't necessarily have to have ins. BEFORE you're married kid.

    If you have a permanent job with benefits, once you get married (or have any other 'qualifying family change) you will have 30 days of open enrollment to ADD HIM TO YOUR POLICIES without penalty. This goes for life or health ins. Take out the MAXIMUM of group life ins. It's practically free and if you should choose to leave that employer, you could always convert it to an individual policy.

    As far as avoiding bankruptcy, I think that might be a good thing although you might want to ask a bankruptcy attorney if you should file for (reorganization) chapter 11, I think.

    I don't think you can declare bankruptcy on the US gov't (taxes) or student loans, or child support or alimony.

    If you choose to marry this man, it looks like he may not be fiscally responsible so ASK YOURSELF if you want the burden for the rest of your married life. You'd better force him to sign a contract stating he will not handle ANY of the money issues post-marriage.

    SIGN A PRE-NUPTIAL agreement, if you have ANY assets worth protecting, even future inheritances.

    Please check your email, I sent you my phone #.

    Lisa

    Lisa

  • COMF
    COMF

    My mom married a financially irresponsible man "for love". He let her work to support both of them, for most of the years they were together. I remember being over at their house one day when she came in from work and he's sitting there on the couch where he's been all day, and he looks up as she walks in and says, "What's for supper?" He spent money and used credit cards like mad on these sucker schemes to get rich, and left my mom owing a massive amount of money when he died in 1996. Mom won't talk to us kids about the state of her finances, but my sister says she's still paying something like $1000 a month (out of her Social Security check) on bills that asshole left her.

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa

    Comf,

    I'm sorry about your mother's situation. It must be horrible for you to have seen someone abuse your mother so.

    My situation is not like that. He is the primary money-earner now. He's a good and honest man. Sh*t happens, and it happened to him, a whole lot of it, too much at one time. 9/11 was a part of it.

    I'm working part time, and I'm good at "bookkeeping", and it takes HOURS to just get one minor issue resolved, so I'm voluntarily handling this stuff.

    What grieves me so is how callous creditors are, and how they capitalize on people when they get into a vulnerable place. I've spent the past month on the phone and writing letters, and am just reeling from the exposure to so many sharks. I am literally dumbfounded by the things I've heard people say in trying to slog through this stuff... I guess it pays for them to be vicious and hateful.

    Southland,

    Your kindness in providing that information meant a great deal. Thank you. We are tying his life insurance in with our car and renter's policies, and for the same amt per month, (well, those are the non-smoker's rates) we can get a $250,000 policy.

    Lisa!!!

    I have not received any mail from you... could you please try again? Another addy is [email protected]..... LOL - benefits.... HAHAHHAAHHHAAAHAHAH!!!! At least I'll get health insurance from his employment after we get married. Until the school loans are rehab'd and consolitated, they are not Federally insured, and I'd be liable for them if I was his wife and the unmentionable happened. Please know I love and believe in this man, and he's NOT a slacker. Thank you for your helpful response.

    {{{{{Wendy}}}}}}}}

    {{{{{sKally}}}}}}}

    I'll be in touch. Love you guys.

    laura

    ps to kiz (?) my co-worker is a 20 year old athlete who's cool and waiting to get into the Airforce. He's the one who suggested the idea in the first place....

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Laura,

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're mired in financial problems. I've been there too. It seems like you never want to answer the phone or open the mail, for fear it's more vultures circling, looking for any meat to pick off your bones! The collection agencies are paid intimidators, trained in negative psychology (so it seems).

    I know you're working like mad to get situations resolved, and that none of those creditors see the whole picture. Some are willing to "work with" you, and so hopefully you'll be able to slowly climb out of this hole. I don't know if bankruptcy (even a chap. 13 repayment plan) is an option, but if you do pursue it, the creditor harrassment immediately stops.

    Anyhow, since I'm in your area, you know I'm here (at least to listen).

    -- Jeff

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