mom,dad,exwife

zanex

so like I am not sure how to REact to latest in my own personal war against my exwife, and my jw parents who for some reason have decided to take up with my exwife...they send her nice regular emails and give her ALL the info on their regular life and they talk to her like a normal person. My ex was never a jw...as df'd dub myself I shud have expected that kind of shallow behavior from my parents but for some reason I find that it STILL hurts to know that my own friggin parents wont communicate with me cuz of that stigma. Like my own friggin mom is going into the hospital cuz she has some type of growth in her brain and neither her nor my dad had the decency to let me know. They let my ex know tho..sent her an email they did. Last sentance read, "please do not show this email to 'sal' (my name) cuz we dont have a relationship because his being disfellowshipped" like gimme a freakin BREAK! My mother cud have a SERIOUS problem and they dont want to tell ME! I dunno...I just found that out 2 weeks ago and I am still tryin to cope with it...I cant eat, I cant sleep, dropped like 16 lbs in 2 weeks...whatevah...who cares...if thats what those "parents" of mine want fine...not sure what else to say...i just needed to get it out somewhere...

LDH

Sal, I've gotta leave the house in a minute. I tried your cell last week . Call me at home later.

Lisa

outnfree

(((((Sal)))))

I am sorry for your pain. That your parents won't communicate with you even when it is about serious family health matters is very sad. Try to remember (it won't stop the hurt, though, I know...) that they are TOTALLY under the thumb of WT ShunThink.

Sadly,

outnfree

zanex

I have shut them out before and become a cold heartless person but I dont want to become that person again...I am used to bein alone...who needs parents anyway..

LeslieV

Dear Sal,

I am so sorry to hear that your parents are treating you in this way. It is so hurtful when it is your own parents. When the JW's say they are the ones showing love in the world it makes me want to puke. Always remember you are not the one that is the failure..they are failure as parents due to the control that the org. has over them.

All I know as a parent no one would ever tell me that I would have to turn my back on my own children because they no longer believe what I do. When you really sit back and look at it it just re-affirms that this religion is a cult. It tears people apart it does not show love and compassion. They only give those words lip service.

Leslie

zanex

I am a relatively new parent myself and this just hurts me what my parents are doing to me...all the old anger that I spent all that time learning to control has just been released again all cuz of that MUTHAF@#$!& religion...jacked me again...grrrr...now all i need is a high powered rifle with a nightime scope and some sticks of tnt...ahhh that feels better...;)

SPAZnik

(((zanex)))...sal, my heart bleeds for you on this.

that is a very hurtful experience even just to hear about, neva mind live through.
i only hope you won't allow your anger, your obviously justified anger, to eat you up.
get out for a run or something if you can...channel that hurt and frustration in a non-destructive way?

your emotions/reactions sound really normal under the circumstances....

have you considered letting them know you know?
i mean i dunno..is that in anyway possible in your circumstances?

in my experiences with angry people, rage is a defense mechanism that signals
other deeper more vulnerable feelings of emotion, usually intense PAIN.
(i imagine u know dat) i also imagine your rage/anger/frustration here mainly results from being concerned about your mom? (jes' ignore me if i'm off base)...and maybe also having your hands somewhat tied from being able to express that to her in a way that is some semblance of normal?

maybe you could be the one to express a real emotion or two to them/her
rather than allowing their lunacy to kill you like this? could you tell your mother (in person or in writing) that you heard the news and that you love and worry about her or even just that yer thinkin' about her? could you even just send her some flowers anonymously? anything to take some action towards expressing your apparently deep feelings about the situation and help yourself through this a bit?
(again please forgive me and ignore me if i'm way off base....just wanting to brainstorm ideas for action that might help diffuse some of that totally understandable rage/pain...i'm not trying to be a dork here...i just really wish i could help ya...your post sounded so pained).

yeah....jws think their love sets them apart. more like their lack thereof...case in point your experience. what kind of christian would go so far outta their way to treat someone this way? what kind of human would treat someone this way?

whatever. your situation sounds totally inhumane to me.
i'm sorry you are going through this.
hang in there for your babydoll.
your little girl is gonna be so lucky having a dad like you
that has learned (albeit the hard way) how not to show such a lack o' love for his kid.

SPAZ

ps - i'm also sorry for your folks...on the brain thing sure and also for being messed up enuf to treat their own son like this

pps - thinkin' aboutcha....hope yer alright.

zanex

SPAZ: ya consistently seem to make me grin...thanx for just bein u.

As for me not letting the anger eat me up....well thats another story. I am almost at a point where it is almost easier to just wallow in the anger than to try and make peace with the thought of my parents. Hmmmm lettin the anger go in a non-destructive way? Maybe non-destructive to all around me but very destructive to me. Yah yer probably right I probably feel more pain about my mother not wanting me to be around than anger but I dont do well with emotional pain. Anger is easier.

My only fear in taking some action in informing my parents is that i will get slammed again. I dont think I could handle that at this point. Another rejection from my parents wud REALLY send me over the edge.

I think that the only thing that is keeping me even close to some semblance of sanity is my little spud. That baby girl is the only thing I really have that is unconditional love.

I dont know what else to say. U aint too far from the mark spaz...

Pistoff

zanex, I am also sad and angry about how your parents treat you.
I have never agreed with policy of shunning family, not real keen on the concept as a whole...i mean, paul, the ex pharisee, says to deal with a VERY PUBLIC case of incest by shunning, and now 2000 yrs later we shun those who smoke, or who don't show the "proper" remorse for confessed sins. Please.
NOT all dubs are like your folks....I know that doesn't help, but it shows that the org is not monolithic. I kept my cousin working for me when he was df'd, boy the elders did not like that, and hired a df'd young man (ex bethelite) too; they both expressed a desire to come back, so I saw no problem. The elders said i had NO spiritual appreciation. Apparently, to some people rules must be followed.
I know that the love you have for your girl will be more christlike.
In any case, take care....WE LOVE YOU here

Satanus

Reminds me of a scripture they used to like to quote. Something about, in the last daze, people would have no natural affection. I think it was in 2 timothy 3 or something like that.

SS

mom,dad,exwife

Share this